D Gray Land
by WinterYule
Summary: "Qin!," Alma glomped onto me, his tears seeping into my shirt "Yu is being mean again!" Sighing, I patted him, aware that a mini-Kanda glaring holes into my back. When I died, I never expected to wind up in this crazy world, much less as a Second Exorcist. Life certainly has a way of playing cruel pranks on me. Oh well, at least there's no homework. Slightly AU. OC-insert.
1. Down The Rabbit Hole

**DISCLAIMER:** DGM is not owned by me. The all-time heart warming and heart wrenching manga that has fans reeling in its plot twists belongs to KATSURA HOSHINO-sensei. (^_^) All hail. All hail. The only thing I own is the OCs and the changes caused by her interference. Please apply this to every chapter in the story. Thank you for understanding.

* * *

 **1st Night**

 **Down The Rabbit Hole**

" _It would be nice if something made sense for a change,"_

 _\- Lewis Caroll, Alice In Wonderland_

* * *

 _Alice ran after the white rabbit…_

"I dare you!" The proud girl smirk as she thrust her index finger at me in a dramatic fashion, "To walk on the railings of this balcony!"

Everything began with that dare.

They promised that I wouldn't get hurt, that the rope around my waist wouldn't break and that they would pull me in before I fell. I was a fool to trust in a bunch of drunken college brats whom I called my friends.

And I paid the ultimate price.

One minute, I was tip toeing across the metal railing, their cheers and whistles egg me on; and the next, screams ripped through the cold night air. Why were they screaming? I couldn't comprehend it until my body went smack against the ground.

 _Alice went spiralling down the hole…_

Ironically, there wasn't much pain. Either that, or the whole experience was so agonizing that my brain had completely blocked everything out. I recalled a moment of shock and the poof - I was dead.

How was I certain? For one, I had fallen from the seventh floor of that apartment building. Not even a watermelon wouldn't survive that! Besides, my limbs had been bent into physically impossible positions as my life essence dripped away and seeped into the ground beneath me.

If I didn't die, I would certainly be a vegetable.

Surprisingly, dying wasn't even the worst part- Waking up was. Why? When I finally opened my eyes, there were no angels or fluffy clouds or even big gigantic signs that screamed 'Welcome, You're Dead.' Nope, nope, nope. There was only a boy whose name was Alma freaking Karma!

Life can be exceptionally cruel but this…this was just downright bizarre.

 _And when she awakens, Alice found herself in Wonderland…_

Yes. Thank you, Narrator. But I'm not Alice and this world sure as hell isn't Wonderland. There's no tea parties or crazy, eccentric and pretty things. There's only madness.

Madness, I tell you!

This was a world filled to the brim with body snatching Akumas, Noahs who had clearly lost their markbles and Exorcists that wields magical weapons forged out of Innocence.

And it's a natural death trap!

Call it D. Gray-Land if it makes you feel any better but everything just terrifies the heck out of me. And you would be too if you somehow found yourself reborn into thid kind of fictional world where tragedy happens to be it's bread and butter!

Of all the freaking worlds that I could've ended up in like…Oh, I don't know…Naruto, maybe? Or even Katekyo Hitman Reborn or...better yet School Rumble. Why does it have to be this one? The one that can pretty much mentally scar me for life.

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 _I'm not Alice, and this isn't Wonderland._

 _Welcome to my nightmare._

 _Welcome to D. Gray-Land._

* * *

 **This is the preview of the story that I'm extremely excited to write!**

 **What do you think? I would really like to know. Leave a review (only when you want to) and tell me what you think. Believe it or not, I have big plans for this story. Buckle up, folks. It's going to be one hell of a ride. Oh, by the way, why is it so hard to write D. Gray-Man in here? It keeps erasing what**

 **I write.**

 **The plot bunnies has been running wild in my mind ever since I caught wind that the Anime is continuing. It's like a fan's dream come true. Who else is excited for the return of the anime?**


	2. Qin In D Gray-Land

**2nd Night**

 **Qin in D. Gray-Land**

" _It would be nice if something made sense for a change,"_

 _\- Lewis Caroll, Alice In Wonderland_

* * *

Holy sweet mackerel!

Screaming gibberish curses mixed in with the holiness of a fish in my mind, I stared, jaw slacked and bug-eyed at the kid standing before of me. He looked creepily similar to Alma Karma from -Man, from the bangs framing his face to the dull scar running across the bridge of his nose down right to the twisty, twisty thing on his chest. But what was even more terrifying was what laid behind him: a room laden with unforgiving fog and hundreds of glowing holes just like the one I had crawled out of.

I ran my hand down my face, feeling a headache already hammering at the back of my head.

How much did I drink?

Wasn't it just a couple of cans? And I'm already hallucinating? Maybe I'm dreaming? If I am, this is one hell of a vivid dream. Almost tentatively, I reached down and pinched myself. _Ow!_ For a moment there it almost hurt. Without reserve, I gave myself a tight slap. _Ouch!_ My eyes flew wide at the stinging sensation.

Holy hell, this isn't a dream.

Hands touched my shoulders, it was the Alma Karma look alike. His lips were moving, but I too far freaking out that I couldn't even begin to understand what the hell he was trying to say. It was as if all oxygen left the room leaving me drowning in my thoughts. Terror and fear, rose into my throat even as I gulped it down.

And before I even have a chance to calm myself, the door cracked open and groups of people wearing white coats poured in, invading my space like tall walls closing in. Everyone was talking at once. There was no silence. No room to think.

I tried to move, to get away. I could barely push myself, my limbs prickled with a thousands needles and weighed down by tonnes. And with every inched, I recoiled, they came closer. _Leave me alone._ A hand seized my wrist and I reached the breaking point…

…And screamed.

 _I didn't realise it then. But it was the moment that the world that I used to escape reality became the very cage that shackled me to this never-ending nightmare. And no matter what I did, what I tried…I won't snap awake._

* * *

I glared at the mirror -the closest thing to a window in this room- feeling their eyes on me from the other side like annoying needles prickling the back of my neck. If I could, I would've already turned away and hide myself into the pillows and the folds of the blankets but moving was almost an impossible task when I'm strapped down to the bed.

Huffing, I flopped back down and gaze up at the white, unchaging ceiling. I couldn't help but to wonder how long I had been here? Hours, days or maybe even weeks? In this place, it's almost impossible to tell…but it feels like an eternity.

And bit by bit, the walls of the room was closing in on me. I screwed my eyes shut. I don't know how much of this I can take.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of approaching footsteps. _Someone's…coming._ And it sounds like more than one person. The question was…who's coming? Renee? I doubt she wants to come in again after the way I pushed over the bowl of medicine. The older Epstein? I hope not. I had enough of his long and useless dronings on exorcists and their ' _responsibilities_ ' that I'm tempted to throw a spoon at him. Or…

"I'm sure, Doctor Edgar. I can't wait to see her again!"

All my muscles tensed at once. _No…No way…_

"Alma…"

"Please, please, please, Doctor Edgar. I won't pick a fight with her. I promise I'll be good. Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye."

 _No. No. No. Go away._

"Alright."

There was the jiggling of keys and then the lock released with a click, the door swinging open in an agonizingly slow fashion. My heart leapt to my throat as their shadows came into view. I struggled against my binds as if I could use these last few seconds to disappear.

I didn't want to see anyone…least of all him.

They stepped in, light flooding onto their features as the door closed behind them with finality. It's over for me, there's no escaping now. I really hate my rotten luck.

"Hello," He rushed forward and I inched away as much as I could, "Do you remember me?"

I jutted my chin and looked away.

"I guess not," The bed sunk and tilted me towards him, "I guess I have to introduce myself again. My name's Alma…or at least, that's what everyone calls me."

"And I already know you," The kid pointed his finger at me, smile widening, "Your name's Qin. It's a pretty name."

It took every bit of my willpower not to snap forward and bite down on his finger with all my might or even scream and shout at him that _that_ wasn't my name. I had a name. A name that I used all my life. A name…that I can no longer remember…

I bit down on my tongue, eyes flickering towards Edgar and the two-way mirror, annoyance and fear flaring at the same time. I know, that if I had slipped up…there's only one thing that they would do to me.

"You're really quiet," That damn kid tilted his head almost innocently, "Maybe you're scared? You don't have to be so scared. I won't bite."

 _But I might._

"And besides, it's safe here."

 _Like hell it is!_ This nightmare of a world _is_ filled to the brim with body snatching Akumas, eccentric Noahs that looked ready to rip your heart out at any second and Exorcists that wields weapons of mass destruction, and not to mention this hell hole of a place! So how the hell is this world considered safe? One minute you'll be skipping around with your buddy and the next, you're friend is an Akuma and you're dead. _Game over._

Not to mention, my soon to be executioner is sitting here casually on the bed and holding my hand.

…I'm starting to think that I've pissed off the Universe at some point.

"Still, it's alright to feel a little scared. I think I was too when I first woke up," _A little scared? I was beyond terrified!_ "Everything seem so strange but I gotten used to it. You will too. I think you might even like it."

Please, tell me you're kidding?

"You don't believe me?" The kid puffed his cheeks in indignation, "There's so many interesting stuff in this place, you know. I can prove it!"

"There's great food to eat, so many options that you won't be able to make up your mind and…" One by one, he counted off his fingers, "Oh, yummy mayonnaise! You can never get enough of mayonnaise! And there's Edgar and the others…They're are pretty nice too. They always bring me books, talk to me and sometimes even give me candy. Oh, oh, and there's...YU!"

 _Me?_ Oh wait, maybe he meant Yu? As in Kanda Yu? That samurai-esque exorcist with a constant stick shoved up his butt? That guy?

Alma yapped on excitedly, "Well, you haven't met him yet. Yu woken up before you. But he's like us. Isn't it great? To know that you're aren't alone? You know, he's pretty nice and quiet when he first woke up and then all of a sudden, he became so mean!"

"I don't know what happened, but he kept growling and snarling whenever I try to talk to him. And he always have that sour and grumpy look on his face wherever he went. And worst of all he kept calling me bad names! I don't know what the hell they mean and Edgar and the others don't even want to tell me but the way he said it was mean!"

"And all I wanted to do," Pouting, he folded his arms like the petulant child that he was, "…is to be his friend!"

"Ah!" His eyes flew wide, "And don't you dare be like him, Qin! One Yu is hard enough to deal with."

His expression crumbled, "I don't know what I will do if you started being mean to me too."

"But just thinking about his words makes me just want to…" Edgar tensed at the sudden influx of killer aura, "Punch him!"

"But…ugh!" Almost as quickly, he retracted his fist and tousled his already messy hair, "I don't want Yu to hate me!"

And almost as fast as he became angry, the kid was dry sobbing. Talk about hormones.

"What should I do? What should I do, Qin?" Alma flung his arms about like noodles having seizures, "Tell me, what should I do? Ack!"

"Alma!" Edgar yelled.

And down and down he went. Welp, there goes Humpty Dumpty!

"Pfft!"

The air in the room froze with silence, and I realised what a grave mistake I had commited. Did…Did I just laugh? The kid, peeked up from the edge of the bed, surprise sparking in his eyes. And then, came the flood of joy.

"You laughed!" His eyes sparkled with crazy intensity as he scrambled up the sheets, coming closer that ever, "You finally laughed!"

What a hole I had dug for myself. Quickly plastering a poker face, I turned away but almost as quickly as I did that, he grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

"Don't pretend it never happened! I heard it! Doctor Edgar heard it! You laughed!"

Please, kid, stop shaking the life out of me.

"Ugh, you're being difficult," His shoulders slumped and in the next second, he was renergized, throwing up his arms, "But I'm happy! Since you laugh, does that mean we're friends? We're friends, right? Doctor Edgar?"

He didn't even let poor Edgar answer.

"Yes! I finally have a friend!" He was too far gone for anyone to pull back now, "I can't wait for you to meet everyone! I can't even wait to show you around! Can I? Can I? Doctor Edgar, please?"

I could only sigh.

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 _If someone told me that I would one day wake up and find myself in the world of -Man, I would've laughed in their face, socked them, burry them in a tub of pizzas and ship them off to the mad house._

 _I'm gonna owe that someone a pizza._


	3. Duck Duck Duck!

**3rd Night**

 **Duck, Duck, Duck!**

* * *

"Heart rate seems stable and all vitals seems normal," With the smile and patience of the saint, Edgar looked up from the mountain of papers from his clipboard, "Hmm…It seems like you're on a clean bill of health."

 _Hip, hip, hooray._ Internally I cheered. A clean bill of health! What great news! Since its the last thing on my mind when I'm literally a dead person walking.

"If you ever feel unwell, you can always come to me, alright?"

I probably _won't_ but still…I nodded.

"Stay still," With a shock, a hand yanked me backwards and I caught the shimmering gleam of the scissors from the corner of my eyes, "If you move another muscle, I'm going to shave you clean!"

My jaw dropped. _I'm too pretty to be a monk!_ Instinctively, I swung around to come face to face with the Renee Epstein who had displeasure carved into her features and almost impossibly, she looked even more angry when her eyes narrowed by another millimetre. Why does she looks so mad? What did I even do to her?

"What did I say?" The scissors seems to grow closer.

Oh no, I moved. Fear dipped down my spine like a cold snake. I don't think Renee's the kind of person to joke about these kind of things and that glint in her eye just confirmed that she's downright serious. Almost instantly, I found myself inching backwards on the cold examination table. If I don't do something, anything, quickly, I'm doomed.

What should I do? What can I do?

And it was as if a lightbulb lit up in my mind…

"Big sister Renee," Summoning my most vomit-inducing saccharine voice, I ducked my head in such a way that would _hopefully_ give off an illusion of a young, innocent girl almost in the brink of tears, "You don't have to be so cruel…I didn't mean to move…I only…only want hair as pretty as yours."

If I could shoot myself, I would.

"What?" She looked taken aback, her face taking on a shade of red.

My brows almost rose. Huh, that was almost easier than I thought? Who would've thought that Renee would be that affected by such a small compliment? Maybe this was because she's the younger version?

A chuckle shattered through my train of thought as all eyes landed on the dark haired scientist who was laughing his ass off and slapping his knees, "Renee, pretty? With that big frown of hers? You've got to be kidding me."

"Rikki," Her tone was seething with barely contained rage and as she slammed down the scissors near me -too close for comfort- I leapt and was pretty much considering fleeing to the other ends of the earth.

But hey, on the bright side, no bald spots in sight.

"Renee, there's no need to lose your temper," Edgar dropped his clipboard and swiftly stepped between the two, "I'm sure Rikki didn't meant it that way."

"Oh meant it? Oh believe me, I meant it!" The poor fool unable to even sense his impending doom kept laughing.

"Get out of my way, Edgar!" Almost instantly, she grabbed the scissors and brandished it like a barber, "I'm going to snip of that rat tail of his!"

I'm so glad I'm not at the receiving end of her wrath right now. Steeling myself, I tried not to cower as I watch the two argued…well, argued is not really the word I used when one person is spewing death to hair threats and the other is laughing like there's no tomorrow.

But the fear dulled as the minutes ticked by and they're still at it as if completely forgetting that I'm even in the room. Bored, I my eyes wandered around the small clean room before zeroing into the corner where a _the_ kid sat on the tall stool where there was no one before. When did he get there?

Alma Karma flashed me a smile and I returned it, though with less vigour.

It doesn't help that all I could see in my mind's eye is that very scene where he massacred everyone. Sucking in air, I let it out, slow and steady. Nothing had happened, _yet._

Pushing myself off the table, I stumbled a little and swiped off the invisible lints on my shirt. And clumsily, I started to amble…towards Alma. And my God was it an awkward endeavour. It was off trying to manoeuvre with legs that were twice as short as my real ones and unconsciously and consciously, I was taking long strides…strides that I couldn't reach and I felt like a hamster trying to imitate a giraffe!

And from Alma's expression, it looks as painful to watch as much as to walk the walk.

Almost instantly, he came over, "Hey, are you alright? Do you need any help?"

I didn't know how to answer…and just stared.

It didn't help that nothing felt real, almost like I'm just lost in a very, very, very long dream.

"Hop on," He turned his back to me and held his arms apart. Is he trying to give me a piggy back? It felt almost too temptimg to kick his butt instead, "Don't you want to see all the wonderful places I talked about?"

What about…My eyes trailed to the arguing trio.

Alma caught on, "Don't worry about it. Edgar already gave us permission. Besides, the Golems will look after us."

He pointed at the eye-bat-like-creature fluttering a few steps away. I…completely forgot that they had those…It's eyes turned towards me, unblinking and it was creepy. Inching painfully towards Alma, I settled on his back and wrapped my arms around his neck, completely feeling every rise and fall of his chest. This was too close for comfort.

Before I could even back out like the coward I am or even voice my protest, we shot out of the infirmary's door and into the dingy hallways Laboratory 6.

* * *

"And this place…Uh…" The confidence in Alma's voice reduced into a quiver as the gigantic dark door loomed over us a contrast to the quaint places that we had passed by.

Robed figured stood by the side of each door, lifting their face to look at us but only revealing their masks. Cold fear gripped me as I realised what they were - CROWS. Swallowing what's left in my dry throat, my fingers wrapped tightly around my wrist. CROWS are never a good sign.

"Alma. let's lea-"

Whispers assaulted my ears. Who's whispering? Looking left, looking right. No one was talking. Not even the CROWS. Where's it coming from? It's coming from…behind…the door. What's in there?

"We…should go…" Almost immediately, Alma pushes himself forward, his breathing uneven as ever.

But the more distance we put between ourselves and the door, the more the whispers faded away and Alma's breathing returned to normal. It wasn't long before he was back to his ole cheery self. Whatever that was behind that door, didn't seem too pleasant and I wasn't eager to find out. That's one can of worms I will never touch. No siree.

"So…where to next?"

"Oh, I'm glad you asked! The next place is my favourite place in the whole-"

His chatters filled the eerie silence in the hallways. To be honest, I wasn't in the least interested. Over the past hour he had showed me many places from the sanatorium, the library, the scientists quarters, and the scientists lounge area (which were restricted of course) and even though I was busy trying memories the places, this place was so dang big that I had long given up.

I'm pretty sure I would end up lost and crying if I was on my own.

The scent of freshly cooked food enveloped me snapping me out of my pathetic thoughts and greeted me with a sight of rows of tables and benches in a super large room that was mostly devoid of life save for a few stranglers scientists multitasking between devouring real food (non of that medicine, vitamin crap) and finishing piles of paperwork.

Eyes zeroing on the plate of perfectly cooked ramen, my stomach growled.

"I bet you're hungry, huh?" Yes. Yes. Yes. "Let's get something to eat."

Yes, Yes, Yes. Give me food and I'll love you forever.

Alma skipped…yes, skipped…down towards the the aisle, but not before stopping to greet and chat with every single one of the scientist on the way making my journey to food paradise agonizingly painful. Any more delays and I will die…of hunger!

And finally, we reached the counter. Steamed dim sum and buns surrounded me left and right, calling out for me to devour them. And without question, I would, if I was forced to wait any longer.

"Alma?" An old man popped out from behind the counter, holding a large chopping knife with stray cabbages on it, "Is that you?"

And then his eyes zeroed in on me, "And who's your friend?"

"Mister Zu! Mister Zu!" The kid was bouncing on the balls of his feet so much that I struggled to hold on, "I finally got a friend!"

What am I? A trophy?

"I see. So another one has woken up."

"Yes, I'm so happy! Oh I haven't introduced her! Her name is Qin. She's nice," Looking back at me, Alma gleamed, "And Qin, meet Mister Zu."

I didn't even answer. I only stared at the old man and the old man stared back at me as if analysing me. And then it clicked. Zu…Can it be?

"We're here to eat!" Alma exclaimed.

Yes! Real Food! Inching up my neck, I tried to get a glimps of my salvation- the only good thing that can ever come out of a dream like this…only to catch sight of two bowls of medicine piled sickeningly high. My dream sank and my appetite dashed. No…

"Aw!" I wasn't the only one disappointed.

"Sorry, Alma," Another chef pops out from the corner looking sheepish, "Orders are orders."

"Can I at least get some mayonnaise?"

I watched with sickening fascination as the blob of mayonnaise grew to cover the entire bowl and shivered. How someone can consume so much of that stuff is beyond me.

"Disgusting." Oh, someone agrees with me.

"Ah, Yu! We've been looking all over for you!"

Yu? Alma turned and my eyes landed on a pint-sized, dark haired brat with eyes that could bore holes into anyone. From up here, he looked like an adorable porcelain doll…well, a frowning porcelain doll…until he glared at me and looked like the devil incarnate.

"Another one?" I could barely catch what he said under his breath.

"Yu! We have another friend! Her name is Qin and she woke up a few days ago! Isn't it great? We could all be friends! Good friends!"

I could feel mini-Kanda getting more and more annoyed by the second. His glare become much more burning as he gave me a one up as if assessing if I was going to be a bother or and even more bother.

"Parasite."

What? That's the first thing he said about me? But why? Because I'm currently piggy backing off Alma? That's why? What kind of logic is that?

"I'm not!" The words shot right up before I could even stop myself.

"You're latching on him."

I ground my teeth, annoyance flaring and attacked with the intense urge of smacking the back of his head.

"Let me down."

"But, Qin-"

"Let me down!"

Almost instantly, he let me down. Without a pause, I stormed towards the brat. Storm as much as I could with shaking, unsteady feet, nearly toppling over a couple of times until I arrived where I wanted to be. Straightening my back and glaring straight at him, I died a little inside when I realised that I was a couple inches shorter than him. It's not fair…he looked so short from up there.

"You walk like a duck."

 _Excuse me?!_

"Duck?" Flames of fury lit from within me.

"A stupid duck that can't even walk straight," This cheeky brat dare to even give me a glance of distain as if I'm nothing more than a stain on his boot.

I'm going to kill him. I'll kill him.

I was shaking.

"Uh…Qin?" Alma touches my shoulder.

I leapt, ready to rip into Kanda when Alma grabbed me pulling me back, "Let me go! Let me go! I'm going to whoop is ass! And teach him proper manners! Give me a stick or let me go!"

"Those options are kinda the same!"

And that was my first encounter with Kanda Yu, the wanna-be Samurai with a thousand sticks stuck up his ass. Looking back, it could've gone much better or much, much worse.

* * *

"No," I held my face in horror, "No! No! No!"

I stomped my feet, nearly throwing me off balance and pointed vehemently at the brat and stared straight into Edgar's eyes, "There's no way I can share a room with him! He'll murder me in my sleep!"

"Qin…I think that's a bit of an exaggeration."

Even so! "Can't I sleep anywhere else? Anywhere but here! Or maybe even your room? Can't I sleep with you? I'll be good. I'll crawl into a corner and you won't even know I'm there? Please. Please!"

"But it'll be fun!" Alma whined.

Another reason to run even further away. I don't think I would even catch a wink when I'm sharing a room with my potential executioner. I pulled the most convincing puppy face I could pull off.

"Now, Qin, why don't you want to stay here?" Edgar knelt down, levelling our eyes.

The look on my face said everything.

"How bothersome," Kanda muttered darkly behind me and a volcano of emotions erupted from within me.

"You started it!" Shaking my pointer finger at him, words blurt out one after another, "None of this would've happened if you kept your mouth shut and not called me a parasite and a stupid duck!"

I heaved, taking short breaths, doing whatever I could to reign my wild emotions in. I wasn't this emotional before. What the heck happened? It was like the floodgates were torn apart and its all over the place. Stomping my feet, I felt foolishly childish.

"Tch," The brat dared to turn away.

"You-"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah," Edgar stepped in, blocking my path, "You don't like ducks? Maybe Yu meant some other bird? He's just getting into the encyclopaedia of avians…Maybe he meant some other bird? Right, Yu?"

Yu grunted with displeasure as he dragged the thick volume from his end of the bed and flipped the pages before turning it to face me, my mind registering the pink bird that was etched majestically onto the page.

"A Flamingo?"

All bitterness vanished as I stared at the pretty pink bird balancing with grace on one leg. Does he thinks I'm such a pretty and elegent creature? I almost feels touched.

"Oh, wait, that's the wrong page," He retracted the book and flipped through it again.

 _What?_

"I really mean this one," He flipped it over again and lo and behold, a bird with elongated neck, body covered in coarse black feathers and a fierce beastly face - A freaking ostrich.

"You-" My finger was shaking again as I wrestled the rage nearly hitting the boiling point. My lips fumbled to form words that would even make the most dirty mouth sailor cringed. I was about to explode.

But instead, a wave of tiredness washed over me and my knees buckled and I was overcame with the sudden urge to cry.

"Qin?" Alma sounded alarmed.

Why do I even bothered trying?

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.

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One duck, two duck, three duck,

Where's the marker?

Because he ain't escaping without a scratch.


	4. Lemon, Cream & Yu

**4th Night**

 **Lemon, Cream & Yu **

* * *

_Parasite. Leech. Ugly duck._

Kanda's words hammered at the back of my mind as I tossed and turned under the sweltering blanket. There's no way I could sleep. Staring at the ceiling, the humming of the machines and the soft snores of Alma and Yu surrounded me did little to ease my irritation. Groaning, I buried my face into the pillow.

Why is sleep so far out of reach?

Glaring at the boys from the corner of my eyes, I could feel a little envy rising from within. They looked so peaceful, dropped deep into dreamland while I'm here, awake…and sleep deprived.

Maybe counting sheep would help?

I closed my eyes and take a deep breath, blocking as much noise as I could out of my mind.

One sheep…Two sheep…Three sheep…Four Sheep…Five Duck…

My eyes snapped open. Oh you've got to be kidding me. Forget it, I'm definitely not going to be able to sleep. Sitting up, I pushed myself off the bed, miscalculating the distance between the floor resulting in me collapsing onto a mess on the floor. A groan of frustration left my lips before I could even stop myself.

"Qin?" Alma looked down towards me, rubbing his eyes, "What are you doing?"

"Sleep walking," Sarcasm coated the words I couldn't hold back before I sighed, giving in, "I couldn't sleep."

He blinked.

"So I decided to take a walk."

"Oh," He pushed his blanket off the side and slid down to the ground beside me, "Do you need any help?"

His hand was already reaching out as he asked and in a wave of panic and indignation, I slapped his hand away. Shock rippled through his expression before fading into hurt. My eyes cast onto the ground, feeling slightly bad for my instinctive reaction.

"I just…" I swallowed down, "I want to do this myself."

"Oh! That's fine! That's absolutely fine!"

"Shh!" I bit back the urge to cover his damn mouth, "You don't want to awaken the sleeping Kraken right there!"

Almost as if he heard us, Kanda moved under the sheets. Our eyes snapped towards him, holding our breaths. He mumbled something before turning again before falling deep into dreamland. I let out a sigh.

That could've gone not so well. And I don't think I even have the energy to deal with him.

A finger poke at me. I glanced towards Alma and he pointed towards the door. I nodded. And the two of us tip toed our way towards the exit with me grabbing tightly onto his arm for support.

Every step felt like an eternity but before we knew it, we were once again in the hallways of the Ninth Laboratory and Alma continued on.

"Where are we going?" I whispered, afraid to break the heavy silence that haunted the halls.

"It's a surprise," In the shadows, I could catch him winking and placing a finger on his lips.

Silently, I followed him and in times where I stumbled, his ever steady grip was there to make sure I never fell. It wasn't long before I realised where he intended on taking me because as he gently pushed me into the giant doorway, I found myself greeted by cold air and soft glowing pod holes where the Second Exorcists lay in slumber.

I stood there, staring at everything from the alter in the corner to the gigantic alchemy circle etched in the ceiling down to the glowing pods. Morbid curiousity got ahold of me, I stepped forward, eyes train onto the sleeping apostle in the pod hole. It was creepy looking down and imagining that this was where I was…or at least…where this body was before I woke up.

"Whoah, careful," Alma pulled me back when I was getting dangerously close to the edge, "Haha, if you fall in, you might catch a cold."

Catching a cold was the least of my worries.

"What do you think?" How am I supposed to answer that? "I always come here everyday."

"I would talk to them and read to them hoping that they would wake up."

 _I know._ I looked away.

"And then one day, Yu did. And I thought that I won't be so alone anymore…but Yu's…you know…Yu's Yu." He shrugged and I couldn't help but to stare silently, "And then one day, you woke up too! And I'm was so happy!"

"I was so lonely that I wanted to cry!" And almost instantly, his eyes had sprung tears, "But now, we can be friends, right?"

Grabbing my hands, his face lit up and I could swear that I can see sparkles in the air around him.

"Right? Right? Right?"

I didn't stand a chance.

* * *

It's been almost a week and I was already getting a hang of handling my pint sized body. No longer was I tripping over my two left feet (I still do but it feels more natural now) nor was I hitting glasses over just because I wasn't paying attention and overestimation the length of my limbs. And thank goodness, I was finally getting some shut eyes in the night.

Although, my emotions were somehow still all over the place, so much so that I feel like an prickly porcupine and anything could set me off at any time.

And I hated the lost of control.

I am twenty, an adult not some child with tantrum problems.

My eyebrow twitched, "Why are you following me around?"

Barely looking back, I already know Rikki was already trailling behind me and unabashedly, he caught up to me with that big stupid grin on his face. He dragged every second just to annoy me and for the millionth time since I had awoken in this world, I rolled my eyes.

My time is precious. I don't have any to spare wasting it on some side character that looked like Reborn from Katekyo Hitman Reborn! that like many people of this world likes to trample on my nerves.

Before he even opens his mouth to speak, I already started walking.

"You know-" He started once again.

But as we rounded towards the hallways that lead to the mess hall, there was a loud crash and panicked shouts. _What in the world?_ Exchanging curious looks, we rushed forward and lo and behold, the sight that greeted us -a super pissed off Kanda stomping on the dining table with crowds of scientists running about, panic clear on their faces and at the end of the room where a deep crater formed, was Alma Karma sliding down from the dent, looking none too pleased.

"What the hell?" I blurted out and the entire room silenced.

"Qin!" Rikki gave an exaggerated gasps from beside me, "Language!"

Really? Is this really the time? And I said _hell_ not the four letter word of what shall not be named!

"Qin's here!" One scientists yelled.

"Hooray! We're saved!"

"What are you, an idiot? We're so doomed!"

"Qin!" A younger voice burst out from the end of the mess hall.

My head snapped in that direction to see Alma bounding at full speed towards me. Every nerve in my body screamed at me to run, but I couldn't. I stood there like a deer in headlights, digging my feet into the ground and braced myself for impact. He barelled right into me, arms squeezing the life out of me.

"Qin!" He whined and continued glomping me and…my god, are those tears and snot seeping into my shirt? "Yu's being mean to me again!"

 _I need a new shirt._ Awkwardly, I patted him, aware of the gazes of hundreds of humans and who would forget the burning glare of a pint sized Kanda Yu burning into me. I shot the scientists looks screaming 'help' and none responded to my plea. Not even Rikki.

"There. There." I didn't know how, but I managed to get him to sit down, patting his back as I waited for his crying fit to pass. And little by little, things in the mess hall started to settle down. The scientists go about their own daily life and even Kanda soon resumed to whatever the heck he had been doing before.

"I can't believe Qin saved us." My ears picked up the gossip flying about.

"Yeah, I thought that there would be a three way fight for sure."

Oh ho ho. You wished. You think I would let you fools go easily, when you're probably the ones responsible for my pain and torture later on? You got another thing coming. My eyes landed on the untouched lemon pie piled up to the brim with copious amount of whip cream.

 _Perfect._

"Wait here," Grabbing the pie, I made my way across the room, my eyes trained only on my target.

"What's she doing?"

"Is Qin trying to make friends with Yu?"

"Whoa, that's unexpected."

"It's adorable."

I can barely hold in my mirth. This was going to be so perfect. As I grew closer, I hid the pie behind me. _Oh, this is going to be loads of fun._ Kanda gave me a stink eye, "What do you want?"

I pulled the pie in front of me, smiling ear to ear.

"What the hell is that?"

"You're present…for being such a good boy."

"Take it back. I don't want it."

"Aw…don't be like that Yu," I took a step forward, "Look, it's a nice treat."

"I said," He hissed through his teeth, eyes boring into my skull, "Take it back. You probably put something weird in it."

"There's nothing weird in it," I took another step forward, "There's only lemon, cream and of course…Yu…Oops!"

His eyes widen in shock but it was already too late. Launching my arms up, I propelled the treat towards his face. Smash! Everything was a delicious mess as bits and pieces flew all over. I couldn't stop laughing and it echoed in the heavy silence that took over the mess hall.

"Qin?" I could hear Edgar and Alma screaming in the distance.

"You little…" Kanda started to shake, a dark aura surrounded him and honestly…I'm a little afraid.

I took a step back, my body was like a tightly wound spring that was ready to flee at any moment. But this chance was too hard to give up on.

"Yu?" Choking back a laugh and fear, I pointed a finger at him, "I think you have something on your face. It's right there…there and there and oh, I don't know…everywhere?"

Almost instantly, he sprung forward and I backed away, "There's really no need to be embarrassed. Yu seem to be enjoying the treat."

"After all," I barely managed to dodge his punches, "It's definitely as sour as Yu!"

And I ran, flee. Rushing across the room, I grabbed Alma by the arm and hightail it out of the mess hall, leaving the chaos behind. Screams echoed from behind us. Not my problem. Amused chuckles exploded from my lips and for the first time since I awoke in this world, I felt light.

"Qin, that was a little mean."

"But its funny!"

"…" A snicker, "Yeah, it was."

And his giggles joined the symphony of my cackles and the chorus of wails.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 _When life throws you lemons, throw it at Kanda. It makes everything absolutely better._


	5. Price After Lemons

**5th Night**

 **Price After Lemons**

* * *

It didn't take long for Kanda to catch up to us…and it didn't take very long before the three of us was brought back to our rooms, treated and suffered the wrath of Epstein Senior and his never ending speech on responsibilities as apostles and his utter disappointment in us.

"Ow!" I flinched away from the swab of alcohol, "That really hurts."

Edgar shot me a look of apology while Epstein Senior shot me a look of disdain, "Quiet! The three of you need to take this seriously. As an apostle, you need to be-"

Does this guy have nothing else to say? Is his dictionary really only consist the word of apostle, responsibility and all things that suck the fun out of life? Just hearing him makes me want to sigh for the thousandth time.

But still…it was worth it.

The edge of my lips quirked up as I stared at the third bed where Kanda sat, face scrunched up as he picked bits and pieces of his just desserts off his hair. He looked so utterly ridiculous that I had to bite down on my bottom lip just not to laugh.

But he caught onto me and glared.

"What are you looking at?"

"Here, have something to cool off," I threw a lemon that hit him straight in the face.

"Qin!" Alma called out, mortified.

"Where the heck did she even get that lemon?"

"That's what you're worried about? We're going to get beaten to a pulp again!"

Kanda was shaking.

"Qin!" Epstein Senior was absolutely furious, "You better start acting like an apostle or-"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"You say that a lot! Is that your catchphrase or something?"

Everything was in chaos.

* * *

"Ow!" I shied away from the tightly wounded bandages, "Be gentle please, I'm fragile."

Renee rolled her eyes out of Epstein Senior's sight. And the old man was more quiet this time around, a large bandage wrapped around his forehead as he fumed silently in the corner. Well at least he's no longer yapping on about that dreary speech of his.

"Mmm…Now that's no fair," Without meaning to, it came out in quite a whining tone, "Why am I the only one in bandages when the two of them are already fine?"

Kanda had his back turned to me, completely refusing to look at me while Alma gave me a tired and confused smile. But the scientists that were to and fro doing their work, groaned in response. No one answered me.

"Ow!" The bandages seem to be even tighter.

"Done." Renee threw the remaining bandages into the box and closed it in one swoop.

Well, I did deserved that.

"Irresponsible," The older Epstein muttered under his breath and I have half the mind to throw a lemon at him…unfortunately, I'm all out.

He turned to look at me, eyes stern, "I don't know if you know the consequences of your actions. You could've gotten someone hurt or even worse killed!"

My fingers tightened at the edges of the sheets.

"It's my fault!"

I turned, Alma? He looked constipated and his hands that bunched up the sheets so tight that his knuckles turned white, "I started the fight. I didn't mean to. It just turn out that way."

Sirlin Epstein's gaze burned into Alma and he took a step forward. I opened my mouth to protest when Edgar stepped forward, his arm wrapped in bandages and that ever patient smile on his face.

"I think they already know their mistakes. I'm sure that they won't do it again."

Sirlin Epstein huffed and turned around, "This isn't the first time they did this and it definitely won't be the last. Make sure you do something about this. Exorcists who can't work together are the last thing we need on the field."

I internally laughed. Little did he know that the King of No-Way-I'm-Working-With-You is sitting just right over there, sulking.

"D-Doctor Edgar," Alma's eyes began to water as he leapt out of bed and wrapped his arms tightly around the poor doctor…a little too tightly.

"A-Alma," Edgar wheezed.

"Alma," I flicked my fingers, "He's suffocating."

"Oh!" And finally he let go, "I'm so sorry, Doctor Edgar! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"I-It's alright…As long as the three of you get along and don't fight anymore."

"I'll try, Doctor Edgar!"

And there was a silent grunt from behind me and I couldn't help but to agree. The three of us getting along…is probably only a pipe dream.

* * *

"No!" I shout-whispered, pushing my arms against the doorway resisting as Alma tried to push me through, "No way in hell or even heaven! I rather die!"

"Qin!"

"I said no!" I hissed, "Absolutely not!"

"Please," The angel turned devil whined from behind me, "For me, pretty please?"

I shook my head furiously.

"Pretty please with mayonnaise and cherry on top?"

"No!"

"Stop being so stubborn, Qin!" He pused even harder, "Just go and do it! I already promised Doctor Edgar and I'll definitely keep it!"

"I don't remember promising anything!"

"What are you? My mother?" I screeched and then all of a sudden, the pushing stopped.

"…What's a mother?"

I looked back, eyes wide with disbelief, "You got to be kidding me."

He gave me that blank, sweet and curious look. Is he serious? Does he really have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm talking about.

"Well," I poked my fingers together, "A mother is someone…"

"Kidding!" And that brat pushed me.

He freaking PUSHED me.

Tumbling forward, I was barely able to catch myself. I turned on my heel and had half the mind to barrel straight out only to barrel into the door - the closed door. I'm starting to hate him even for just a little bit. Groaning, I cradled my face.

"Sorry," He whispered behind the door.

"Alma?"

"Yes?"

"Remind me to show you what hell feels like."

"Eep!" Good, he should be scared, "Go easy on me. Remember, Qin - I'm your friend."

I slammed my fist against the door, "A friend who betrayed me! If you think I'm going to let you off easy, think again! Let me tell, you, I am-"

"What. are. you. doing?"

I froze. I know that voice. Turning as slow as my body allowed, my greatest fear was realised. Standing there not too far from me was the grim irritated face of Kanda Yu and the only exit to this room is blocked off by a traitor.

"…I am talking to a talking door," I kicked it, "Can't you tell?"

"Uh-huh," He didn't look impressed.

"Make friends with him," The talking door hissed.

"No, no, no! Get me out of here!" Banging the door and yanking the knob with all my might, "Get help! Mayday! I'm going to get murdered here! Let me out! Let me out!"

"Just try, Qin! I believe in you!"

I'm going to kill him.

Taking a breath, I turned and put on a brittle smile. Slowly, like how a zookeeper would approach a lion, I stepped forward. He didn't move and only stared.

"Look, you and I both know that neither of us want to do this," I couldn't help but to rub the back of my neck, "But since, our good ole pal here closed off the only exit available, we're going to have to be friends or even be on civil terms or he won't let the whole matter go."

And Kanda Yu continued to glare.

I clapsed my hand togeter, "Let's forgive and forget alright?"

Apparently, I went to close. He surged forward and I was falling. Oh my god! I'm going to get mauled in here! And I didn't even get to scream bloody murder! Before I know it, I was flat on the ground, air completely knocked out of me, leaving me wheezing.

"You…" I coughed, my lungs burned.

"You…are a clueless idiot," His tone getting angrier by the second, "You and that stupid creeper annoy the crap out of me. But you…annoy me even more."

"You don't know the first thing about this place," He stopped, his feet a little too close to my head for comfort, "You don't know anything about me, about this hellhole of the place or the pain!"

"You would've been better off if you never woke up in the first place!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 _The irony, I only want to laugh till I lost my sanity. I knew everything and yet I did nothing. And now, I'm left to face my worst enemy reflected in the mirror -myself._


	6. Behind Angel's Wings

**6th Night**

 **Behind Angel's Wings**

* * *

Staring at the lines of my palms, I sighed. My mind's a mess. Completely unable to focus on any one thought and instead it felt like a storm of thoughts that never seem to stop, not even when I'm already exhausted. Groaning, I cradled my head between my knees and wished for time to stop.

Stupid Kanda. Stupid Alma.

It's all because of them that my mind is in such a mess. It's all because of them that my stomach felt like it's knotting and I felt so sick that I can barely stand being in my own skin…this body's skin! I can't even tell the difference between me, my true self and this shell anymore!

Why didn't I forget? It's better if I just stayed unaware of it all.

Is this a dream or is this real? No, this is just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.

But if this world is real…A bile rose in my throat as my mind flashed through all possible scenarios and the weight of it all was just…crushing. I can't handle this!

I snapped to my feet and almost regret it. I felt like hurling.

"Qin!" Alma raced down the hallway towards me, "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"I'm so sorry! I should've never forced you when you don't want to. I never thought…Qin?" Worry took over his face, "Are you alright? You look sick."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look-"

Before he could even complete his sentence, a figure appeared down the hallway, her voice smooth but backed my firmness echoed through the hall, "There you are, Alma and Qin. I've been looking everywhere for the two of you."

Twi Chang's heels clicked with every step and behind her trailing ever slowly was Kanda…the last person I wanted to see at this moment. Swallowing the bile, I pulled my hand away from my mouth. But no matter how hard I try, my gaze returned to the ground, unable to meet anyone's eye.

"Now that I found you two, we shouldn't waste anymore time," She stopped in front of us, "It's time."

For some reason, those words send a chill up my spine.

* * *

My breath caught in my throat as the four of us stood before the same whispering door. Step by step, we drew closer and the more my stomach began to knot and the more I started to feel sick. And the pitying looks Alma thrown at me wasn't helping. Whatever that was behind the door, didn't feel good.

The CROWS, opened the door at the sight of Twi and it creaked as it swung open. And we walked down the short corridor, into an empty circular room where three other scientists stood. At this point my knees were buckling, ready to collapse but I pushed forward.

My mind screamed at me like I was missing something.

It was until they separated the three of us and led us into different door that it all clicked and fear started to set in. At the end of the room, a few splashing steps away from me, a distinct headless deformed body hung, wings sprouting and outstretched.

 _No…_

Instinctively, I took a step back only for my back to hit the smooth surface of a firmly sealed door. I was locked in…with that thing. I'm going to be sick.

The CROWS flanking the basin holding the dead exorcists were suddenly at my side, grabbing me by the arms and pulling me forward, nearer and nearer…and I didn't… _couldn't_ tear off the wires they stuck onto me, flail and scream even though I desperately wanted to…but my muscles locked into place. I could only stare at the monstrosity before me.

"Begin the synchronisation process. In 5…4…"

In one swift movement, the CROWS pinned my hand onto the monstrosity, letting go but I couldn't, for my life, tear my hands from the cold slimy being, oozing down my wrist.

"3…2…1…"

"Urgh!" Cold lightning invaded me, whispering and rippling through every cell in my body as if searching for something.

It grew louder and more violent as it sparked and grew painfully hot, coating me with desperation and disgust. And it screamed, rumbling and ripping through my entire being, tossing me like a rag doll onto the hard ground. I gasped, desperate to regain the air that was forced out of me but even breathing was difficult.

All I could feel was pain. The copper taste of blood stuck at the back of my throat and it took all the willpower I had not to vomit at the putrid smell of my burnt flesh swarming around me. The pain…it was different from anything I felt before. It wasn't fast. It didn't seem to end. It was terrible.

I felt like I was being ripped open from the inside out.

 _Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat._

"Keep going!" Fucking Sirlin Epstein's voice boomed, "We're getting closer! I can feel it!"

Hands dragged me back up, shadows dancing in my failing vision. Everything hurts. I could barely feel my lead heavy arms pressing against the deformed being…but this time, it reaches out. Long fingers grew and I braced myself. Pain struck and I found myself on the ground again, watching my own fearful reflection in the red tainted water.

 _The lines of fiction and reality shouldn't be crossed. A dead person don't bleed._ I cracked a grin.

What a load of bull.

 _Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat._

"Again! We're so close!"

"Sir! Her vitals are reaching critical level!"

But still, I was pulled to my feet again, my hands wrapping around the coarse bandages of that deformed puppet. I've lost count of how many times it repeated almost as if I was trapped in a loop and there was no escape.

 _The Innocence rules over this world. And this world will eat me alive._

"Pfft," I shivered on the ground, "Hahaha…"

The laughter flowed and flowed, even as they pulled me back to my feet, the hollow ring only continued. And I could't stop.

 _Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat._

Until I sank into the comforting darkness.

.

.

.

" _Sir! She's not reviving!"_

" _Get her out, now!"_


	7. Kiss, Don't Tell

_**7th Night**_

 _ **Kiss, Don't Tell**_

* * *

 _When I finally came to, I found myself staring at the frantic faces of the scientists, relief bleeding into the fear and shock. I couldn't share their relief, anger and fear rattled me to the very core. Slamming my hands against the table and pushing against every painful nerve and overstretched muscles, I scrambled to push myself off the table, screaming at my uncooperative legs to move and get away._

 _They spoke, frantic voices blending together in a gibberish mess but I couldn't find myself to care._

 _I don't want to hear them._

" _Ugh!" Flopping off the edge of the table and onto the hard floor, hissing at the impact that reverberated through this body. The pain intensified and I swore as I felt the stitches ripped open. But I didn't care. I just want to escape. To get away from them. To get away from the pain. To get away from it all. Pressing forward, I dragged myself across the floor, painfully and slowly until hands circled around my arms._

" _No!" The word exploded from the back of my sore throat as the lifted me into the air, dragging me back to the table._

 _Screaming and thrashing against their grip, I mentally blocked out all of their screaming orders and pleads. But no matter ho hard I tried to fight, I was back onto the table, their hands pinning me down as I fought and fought. Helplessness came over me and I couldn't breathe. I was so tired. Just so tired. Slowly by slowly, I stopped fighting, melting into a puddle mess of heavy dry sobs and each felt like knives in my chest and draining._

" _It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay," I shook my head at Edgar's lies._

 _It's not going to be okay. None of this is okay._

 _Exhaustion bit at me but sleep continued to escape my grasp. No matter how I wished for it to come and take me away from it all, even if its only for a moment. But all I could do, was to stare blankly as they treated me, pouring disinfectants on my wounds and wrapping them in clean bandages. The stench of my burning flesh never escaped my nostrils. A blatant reminder of what had happened and what will…I swallowed…continue to happen._

 _It was like the walls had closed in on me, leaving no room to move and no room to escape. This was real. This was my life now. I'm no longer a twenty year old human struggling just to get a grip on life…I'm now trapped in the body of a Second Exorcist…an experiment. Nothing more._

 _Numbness settled at the realisation that almost nothing seem to matter._

 _I felt disconnected from my body. It was as if I was an audience in the cinema, watching blurry scene after blurry scene as the scientists went about, as Edgar and a few others whispering a few words of comforts and as Sirlin's long and dull speech on the importance of the emergence of apostles and what's not. And the scene flickered, changing into the dimly lit hallways. I barely registered being carried in someone's arms and before I know it, I found myself back in the bed, blanket pulled over my shoulder and Alma babbling worriedly. But then my eyes locked onto Kanda's cold hard gaze._

 _I couldn't bear it._

 _Gritting my teeth, I pushed myself, turning to the other side, despite the protests and pleas, staring at the dresser pressed against the wall with multiple instruments and bottles overflowing on the basket on top of it. And as time ticked by, I stopped registering whatever that was happening around me and surrender myself to the darkness in exhaustion._

* * *

 _Tiredness and fatigue cling to me like a dark cloud._

 _And even though normally, I would attempt to shake it off, I didn't have the energy to care. Shoving another mouthful of vitamins and medicine, I grimaced as everything blended together, tasting so bland yet so foul. I could feel Alma eyeing me worriedly at the corner of my eyes but I didn't respond. Didn't care. I shoved another spoonful. It was a mistake. I was choking and Alma's slaps against my back didn't really help._

 _Jeez, I slumped back into the chair, feeling even more exhausted than I had started up, does nobody knows how to treat the injured around here? Speaking of which…I eyed Alma with jealousy, taking note that most of his bandages had gone while I still look like a freshly made mummy from hell. Shouldn't I be fully healed by now?_

" _Qin, you scared me," He breathed before pitching, "Chew before you swallow! Chew before you swallow!"_

" _Swallow before you chew! Swallow before you chew," I yelled back before I realised that I wasn't making any sense._

 _He blinked, "You slunk like a zombie from morning until now and the first thing you say is that?"_

" _Yeah, well," I covered my eyes and waved him away, "Im dead tired."_

" _You had a nightmare?" He sat down and whispered._

" _No, I fainted," I rolled the vitamin, watching it fly, "It felt like I had not even slept a wink."_

 _He stayed silent. Turning to him, I raised an eyebrow, "What?"_

" _No…It's just…I thought that you were mad at me."_

" _Mad? For what?"_

" _For…for not telling you about the synchro-testing."_

 _My expression immediately grew darker at the reminder. Alma flinched back. I owe all the scientists, especially Sirlin Epstein a well deserved kick where the sun don't shine. Better add that to the bucket list._

" _Yeah, well, I don't want to talk about that," I shrunk, feeling my mood sour even more, "And no, I'm not mad at you…not yet."_

" _Oh thank goodness…NOT YET?!" He scrambled, grabbing me by the shoulders only to let go with an apologetic look when I hissed, "What do you mean? What else you got to be mad at me for?_

" _Oh, the list is growing," I smirked, and he whines._

" _You're impossible," He almost playfully shoved me but I shrunk away._

" _Watch it! I'm fragile!"_

" _Sorry! I keep forgetting!"_

" _Well, remember before I tattoo it on your forehead!"_

" _No!" He stuttered, "I'll try to remember. Please leave me and my forehead alone."_

 _I chuckled. It felt like a whoosh of air and the pressure weighing on me lets up a little. Relief coloured Alma's expression. I stared at the crowds of people in the mess hall. Everything had returned to normal, but I still had the niggling feeling that something had changed. I sighed. Maybe it's me. I'm the one had changed. Maybe not drastically but I could feel it. Everything felt unreal. And yet, I know it deeply now, that this is now my reality._

 _From the corner of the room, I caught Kanda's eyes looking straight at us, brows furrowed, not really mad but as if he was trying to figure something out. Alma sighed. Tipping my head to the side, I took in Alma's wistful yet defeated look…and realised something._

 _What's the date? When is winter coming. Oh heck._

 _What have I done? What did I do?_

 _The pressure dropped onto my shoulders like a ton of bricks slathered thickly with cement. Oh my god, what did I do? Shouldn't it by now, the two of them should be some kind of friends? Did I mess something up? Drumming my fingers, I desperately tried to find some way to calm the the frantic feeling crawling beneath my skin._

 _If they're not friends….What's…what's going to happen?_

 _Bad! This is bad! So, so bad!_

" _Qin, are you okay?" Why does everyone keep asking me that? "You look like you're in a lot of pain. Do you want me to call Doctor Edgar?"_

" _No!" Calm down, "No…no…it's nothing. Just wondering something."_

 _Can I fix it?_

" _Hey, what's up with you and well…Yu anyways?" I jutted my thumb at the grumpy bear at the end of the room._

" _Well…"_

" _Didn't you say you wanted him to be your friend?" Why am I talking over Alma? I couldn't find it in myself to stop either way, "Well, why are you sticking to me? Go there and give it your best shot. Who knows? Maybe this time is the charm?"_

" _What if he gets mad again?"_

" _Well, some interaction is better than no interaction at all, right?"_

 _Big mistake. In less than ten minutes since Alma had set out to tame the beast, he was hurled across the room…right into me._

 _There's going to be hell to pay._

* * *

" _I still can't believe you threw him at me!" I hissed to the other end of the room from my bed, feeling salty as hell, "Couldn't you throw him somewhere else, like I don't know at the other scientists or god forbid, Epstein Senior?"_

 _It would've been a pleasure to see them being bowled over like bowling pins. But instead all I've got is more bandages than I had started out with! I caught the sullen look on Alma's face and added, "Uhh…no offence to you. You're as sweet as mayonnaise."_

" _BUT YOU, YOUR HEART IS AS BLACK AS TAR!" I swung my finger vehemently at Kanda._

" _Che."_

" _Don't you 'che' me!" I gritted my teeth, "You-"_

" _Enough!" Twi snapped the lights off, darkness flooded the room, "You three, go to sleep already!"_

" _Fine," Grumpily, I shimmied into the mess of pillows and blanket and closed my eyes…_

 _But I couldn't sleep. Sleep never comes when I want to. Instead I found myself staring at the ceiling, following the changing shadows and listening to the soft breathing of Alma and Kanda…and for a moment, I felt extremely jealous. I want to fall asleep at that speed too. I allowed myself to pout._

 _It was an eternity before my thoughts drowned themselves and tiredness settled over me like a warm embrace of a friend. I was drifting between consciousness, tipping into the realm of sleep when warm hands grabbed my shoulders and shook me._

" _Qin! Wake up!"_

" _What? What? What!" I snapped awake, crashing my forehead into Alma's._

" _Ow!" I nursed my head._

" _Qin! There's no time! It's Yu!" Alma tugged at my wrist, pulling me out of bed and across the room._

 _The haze of sleep faded as my mind slowly caught up with whatever was happening now. Sounds of heavy gasps, chokes and rustling of sheets filled my ears and blinking, my eyes registered the thrashing lump on Kanda's bed. Alma closed the gap and shook Kanda, calling for him to wake up._

" _Nightmare?" I swallowed, remembering bits and pieces of what he would be dreaming about._

" _Ack!" Alma barely avoided being whacked by the sharp movement of Kanda's arm, "Qin, I don't know what to do. He's not waking up."_

 _Letting out a sound between a sigh and a groan, I took a step closer only to froze when Kanda gasped out, "Don't go!"_

 _A strong memory of a younger me hugging my gasping and crying brother exploded at the back of my mind. Biting down on my lip, I pushed the memory aside. I cannot think about that right now. Breathing deeply, I closed the distance only to jump back to avoid getting whacked in the face, "Yikes."_

" _Uh, A little help here?"_

 _Alma reacted, reached out to hold down Kanda. Unfortunately, that only make Kanda trash even more. I really hope that he's not being haunted by the Akuma in his nightmares right now because that looked very bad. Pulling myself onto the bed, I cradled Kanda's head._

" _Kanda, you need to wake up," I whispered loud enough for him to hear and hopefully comforting enough that it would calm him, "I know it's scary. Or confusing…but you need to wake up…Wake up before they hear you."_

 _If they hear him…It's all over._

 _But what can I do? He too deep in the dream to wake up. Maybe a song? It used to work with me and my brother, right? Maybe it'll work now too? I didn't want to sing but bit by bit, I hummed the soft tune, trying not to flinch or get overwhelmed by the bits and pieces of memories and emotions that I kept locked up at the back of mind since I arrived in this world._

" _I could never find the right way to tell you, have you noticed I've been gone?" My voice quivered as I pushed forward, "Cause I left behind the home you made me, but I will carry it along."_

 _Kanda's trashing slowed._

" _And it's a long way forward, so trust in me," My voice broke, "I'll give them shelter, like you've done for me…"_

 _He calmed down, breathing becoming more even, eyes fluttering open and closed, lost between waking and dreaming. I could feel Alma's eyes on me but I was trapped in the torrent of emotion, everything that I had avoided thinking about…flooded into my mind in that moment. And before I could stop myself, I wrapped my arms tightly around him, holding onto him…holding on desperately to my past…my home._

 _I want to go back. I want to go home._

" _Let go."_

 _I froze, Kanda's voice grounding me back to reality. Instantly, I released him and scrambled backwards._

" _Qin, wait!"_

 _Too late. I fell off the bed, meeting the hard ground. Hissing, I rubbed my sore back. So much for taking care of my sores and wounds._

" _What do you think you were doing?" Kanda glared down at me, eyes narrowed and suspicious._

" _You ungrateful-"_

" _You were having a nightmare," Why does Alma always insist on interrupting me? "I couldn't wake you so I asked Qin to help. More importantly, are you alright, Yu?"_

" _I-I'm alright. Go to sleep."_

" _Fine by me!" I leapt to my feet, storming off to my end of the room, "I was having a good sleep in a long time anyways!"_

 _Ignoring Alma calling after me, I leapt onto my bed and buried myself under the blanket, unable to look away from my shaking hands, unable to stop the unsettling feelings that clung to me that very night._

* * *

" _Achoo!" Shivering, I wrapped my arms tightly around myself._

… _only to wince in pain because lil' ole me forgot that nearly my entire body was wrapped in bandages. And this…I sneezed again…is why Edgar keep yelling after me to wear thicker clothing before going to the Cold Containment Chamber. But because I was a stubborn brat and petty as hell, I ignored everything he said and stormed off. And now, on top of having aches and pains, I have a runny nose. Perfect._

 _From the corner of my eyes, Kanda was eyeing me in disgust._

" _What?" I hollered, voice nasally muffled from all the previous screaming, "Never seen someone sneeze before?"_

" _Keep your germs to yourself," He turned away, "Parasite."_

 _Oh no, he didn't just- "No," I stood up, invading his personal space, biting back satisfaction as he twitched with annoyance, "Let me share it with you-oomph!"_

 _He knocked me away with his palm like he was swatting away a fly. Instantly, irritation crawled violently beneath my skin and I threw my arm out and grabbed him by the collar, yanking him forward with force till we were face to face, "The hell? You looking for a fight?"_

" _Who's the idiot looking for a fight?"_

 _I was about to bite his head off when a strong grip landed on our shoulders and we were pushed apart. What? Blinking, my sight dropped towards Alma who had inserted himself in between the two of us, random books and items littering behind him._

" _No fighting! No fight!" Alma swung his head back and forth, yelling almost hysterically, "Friends! We're all friends here. So we should get along, right?"_

…

" _No way in hell."_

" _In my nightmares."_

" _Why?" Alma whined. Isn't it clear?_

" _He..." I pointed my finger, "...is an asshole. Plain and simple."_

" _And she's an annoying parasite," Kanda shrugged off Alma's grip._

" _I dare you to say that again!" Lunging forward, I yanked his collar._

" _No fight! NO FIGHT!"_

" _Leech, Ugly duck! Parasite!"_

" _I said NO FIGHT!"_

" _You're going to get it!" I'm going to shake him till he hurl._

" _Not if I kill you first," Growling, he snatched my wrist, nails digging into the bandages. I winced but burning determination egg me on. Like hell I'm going to lose to him. Struggling forward, I grabbed his ear and pull with all my might. He hissed, pain clear on his face bubbling behind intense competitiveness. We were locked in deadlock, neither of us letting go. My mind race, planning out my next move to checkmate._

" _Qin! Yu!" Alma flung himself between us, pushing us by the torsos, "Stop!"_

" _Argh!" I screeched as Kanda pulled my cheek, nearly causing my teeth to chomp down on my tongue._

" _Really, this the best you can come up with?" Releasing my other hand from his collar, I yanked both of his ears, "Got to try better than that!"_

" _Brat!" He hissed, face contorting more and more with each yank._

 _He reached out, fingers reaching for my ear when…_

" _STOP!"_

" _Oh no you don't!" I lurched forward, pushing against Alma's grip, ignoring the pain sparking all over and yanked his precious ponytail, making sure to dig my nails into his scalp, "Admit defeat!"_

" _Oh no! Slipping!" Alma's hand vanished and the force sent me lurching forward, slamming my head against Kanda. Pain exploded through my skull and as we tumbled, something wet and warm pressed against my lips. My eyes flew open and I find myself staring into the shocked eyes of Kanda Yu. The dots connected…Oh…OH!_

" _Bleugh!" Kanda pulled away, falling to his knees and bent over._

" _Oh grow up!" I was tempted to throw a shoe at him but I was barefooted and so I sat there, cupping my bleeding lip, "It's just a damn kiss!"_

" _Disgusting."_

" _You're disgusting!"_

" _Hehehe…" A creepy laugh came from the left field. Glancing to the side, Alma sat there on the ground, looking at the both of us…his smile stretching cheek to cheek and his eyes wide and filled with sparkles. Oh no._

" _Alma…?" Not really liking the look on his face, I stepped backwards._

 _But no matter how fast I tried to backtrack, I couldn't escape his speed. One second, I was as good as free and the next, I was squashed between his arms and a fully disgruntled Kanda that looked like he's about to murder someone…and that someone is going to be Alma…and then me._

 _Not good._

" _Ehehehe…"_

" _Seriously, Alma, you're creeping me out."_

" _You two..." His smile got bigger, "…Kissed!"_

" _Doctor Edgar told me that's the sign of the closest kind of friendship!"_

 _The hell has that quack doctor been teaching this kid?_

" _Does this means you two are friends now?"_

" _No," The two of us shot down his hope simultaneously._

" _You're both creepy and bothersome," Kanda…_

 _That's it. Shaking off Alma's arm, I send the most saccharine smile I could muster and launched my arms forward, hitting Kanda in the chest and send him flying backwards. Surprise coloured his face as he flapped about his arms but was too late…_

 _Splash! Water travelled everywhere, pooling at my feet._

 _Splashing and sputtering, a very wet Kanda Yu rose to the surface and it took all the willpower for me not to breakdown into hysterics. Kneeling down, I poked at his nose, "Call me parasite or creepy again and I will- Ack!"_

 _Freezing fingers wrapped around my wrist and I found myself splashing in viscous liquid. Cold stabbed my skin like a thousand needles and barely a few inches from me, that bastard smirk. Forget his devilish handsomeness or his army of fangirls in the real world, I'm going to end him right here and right now!_

" _Qin, don't!"_

* * *

" _Achoo! Ugh…" After our little fiasco down the freezing water, the little cold that I had caught became a full blown fever. Perfect._

 _Looking up, Edgar was looking at me with total disappointment._

" _What?" I lifted my hands up innocently from the bed, "It's not my fault…well, not really."_

 _He sighed heavily, clearly giving up, "You should get some rest. Hopefully, you would be feeling better soon. In the mean time, Alma and Yu, I think we should go to the mess hall and give Qin some time to rest."_

 _I waved them off, "Have fun."_

 _Alma and Kanda followed Edgar out of the door. I sighed and shimmied deeper into the sheets when Kanda head popped back in again. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, "What do you want?"_

 _Yellow flashed into my vision and collided onto my forehead, "Ow!"_

 _Jolting up, I cradled the sore spot, watching as a familiar yellow object plopped onto my knee. A lemon? A freaking lemon? You've got to be kidding me. Eyebrow twitching, I whipped my head up to see that bastard smirking._

" _You!" I snarled, kicking off the blanket and struggling to get back on my feet._

 _But by then, he was gone._

" _Yu! You-Argh! BAKANDA!"_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

" _When I'm older, I'll be silent beside you,_

 _I know words won't be enough,_

 _And they won't need to know the names on our faces,_

 _But they will carry on for us."_


	8. Gossip & Witches

**8th Night**

 **Gossip and Witches**

* * *

I'm starting to wonder if Kanda's dreams and nightmares are contagious. Groaning at the pounding headache from the lack of sleep, I cradled my head against the table in the mess hall. First, I was running on little to no sleep for days…and now, I'm swimming in dreamland of the worst kind. Is there no middle ground for sleep, ever?

Resting my face against the table, I stared blankly as the scientists mingle mangle, feeling nothing but numbness.

"I'll take that," I snatched the coffee from the scientist walking by.

"Hey!"

"Sorry!" I waved him away and sipped the god given drink, caffeine waking me up, "Ah…that hits the spot."

And then a bowl of medicine and vitamins was set in front of me with Alma and Kanda settling on the seats at the other end of the table. I mumbled my thanks to Alma and downed the entire cup java, leaving nothing but a pleasant buzz. _Much better._

Now that I had gotten my fuel to function, it was time for me to get down to business.

Picking up the spoon, I stirred it back and forth, ignoring the spilling pile and stared rigidly at Alma…who happened to be talking animatedly with a rather tolerant Kanda. I stared…and stared…until he caught my gaze, looking extremely alarmed and clueless.

"Okay, spill the beans," Swinging my spoon, I pointed it right at Alma, "What the hell been going on between the two of you? Are my eyes deceiving me or are you and…well Yu, been buddy, buddy lately?"

Kanda rolled his eyes, turning his head to the side, leaving Alma to deal with the likes of me. Which was fine, since I hated dealing with him anyways. I narrowed my eyes warningly at Alma, whose eyes darted everywhere except onto me, looking extremely shy and sheepish.

"Don't make me _spoon_ you," I jabbed the utensil at him causing him to snicker and bat it away.

"Ah, stop that! It's ticklish!"

"Tell me. Tell me. Spill all your beans and guts to me."

"That's…a bit extreme, Qin," But he brightened up in the next second, "Well, since you want to know…"

Alma launched into a lengthy anecdote that completely lost me in the first three minutes and my mind begin to wander off. It was kind of strange to admit it but somehow everything felt almost normal again. Unfortunately, synchro testing had became a constant part of our daily life and each time I entered that place, the sense of dread coiling in the pit of my stomach seems to grow. And it doesn't help that the scientists who I had glimpsed involve in the testing seem to stare and whisper about me strangely in the distance, which greatly unsettles me…but other than that, every other aspects of life in this crazy place had been thankfully relatively uneventful and that by itself is completely abnormal. Well, for one, my life had been never ending chaos since I had first arrived and secondly, Kanda and I haven't been getting into any fist fights lately, which was strange by itself.

But then again, it isn't really all that bad. I certainly don't need any more bumps and bruises than what I already have.

"Qin? Are you even listening?" A hand waved in front of my vision.

I blinked and sheepishly duck my head, "Uhh…no? What were you saying again?"

Grumpy bear rolled his eyes, "Great. More noise."

"You," I pulled my fingers across my lips, "Zip it."

"Aw! Now I have to start all over again."

"Well, I have time," Shoving another spoonful into my mouth, I forced myself to ground in the moment and nodded at the cues in between his story.

It felt so calm and normal, almost as if I was back home again, sitting in the local cafe with a couple of close friends, talking about fragmented pieces of our own lives. And if it wasn't for the aches and pains or the bandages covering my arms and fingers, it would've been convincing. But it was like I had realised a long time ago since that day…this was my reality now. This was real and I have to deal with it. Every memory of the real world and my old life might as well been a dream instead.

 _No, listen to Alma's tale._ Pressing the spoon into my palm, I focused. He wasn't really telling me much, just giving me a detail by detail account of how he and Kanda had been in the Cold Containment Chamber, how he had saved Kanda from falling into the freezing water and how the had gotten into a bloody fist fight ending with them rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter…almost like what had happened in the original story. And I couldn't help but to let out a breath of relief. At least, _that_ stayed the same. Who knows what the hell would happen in the future if that had not come to pass. I don't even want to think about it.

I shook my head, dispelling all unpleasant thoughts.

"Isn't this awesome? Now the three of us can be the best of friends!"

A tight smile formed on my lips. _I don't think so._ Meeting Kanda's eyes, I saw blatant detest and I returned in kind. Nope, only you and Yu are going to be good friends. I have a hard time not biting his head off as it is. I was perfectly fine being the third wheel of this relationship.

"I mean, look at us! There wasn't a major fight in a while!"

I nearly burst out in laughter. He said it almost as if it was his proudest achievement yet. Maybe he might want to consider tattooing, _7 days and counting, no fights between bros_ on his arm to show it off to the world and maybe even the universe.

"And the two of you kissed! That's the greatest sign of friendship!"

I slapped my ears shut, trying my best to save my eardrums. He did not just scream that out loud for the whole world to hear!

"What's that?" Rikki hovered over me, mouth hanging widely, "QIN AND YU KISSED?"

NO! NOT ANOTHER LOUDMOUTH!

"What?" Surprise ripples through the mess hall.

Oh no.

"How the hell that happen?"

Oh no, no, no…

"I don't believe it!"

"Right? They seem more likely to kill each other than to kiss, right?" Everyone rubbed their chins and nod in agreement.

"Tell me more! Tell me more!"

Everyone swarmed around us, closing in and boxing in onto our table in the most claustrophobic fashion ever. My heart hammered painfully against my ribcage and I gulped, wanting desperately to melt into a puddle and disappear. Why, oh why, oh why? I stepped backwards until the edge of the table dug into my back as the scientists hurled question after question at me.

"Why don'y you ask him!" I swung my finger to point at Yu…only to realise that I was pointing at an empty space in air…

 _What? How? Where did he go?_

Whipping my head back and forth, I scanned the crowd only to realise that they're all giants and the pint size me can't make heads or tails out of anything. Slamming my ffet onto the bench, I scanned over the crowd and instantly zeroed onto a lone figure standing at the doorway. Kanda stood there with a deadpanned expression and disappeared through the doorway without so much as a bye. _What?_ My mind couldn't register? How the hell did he escape? So fast? More importantly, how the hell did he managed to get through thiss mess from here to there? Is there a secret way out? An underground tunnel? Something? Take me with you?

"Yu, you coward! Get your ass back here!" I screeched, railing my fist violently but it was too late, he had left…left me here to clean up this mess.

"Awww, look, it's a lover's spat."

I froze…suddenly feel what little energy I had began wither. _Is this how everyone is going to think of me now?_ No…I can't take it. Like a falling leaf, I fell to my knees in defeat.

 _My reputation…My precious, precious reputation…_

" _And it goes like this…and then like this…" Alma whispered to the scientists behind my back._

" _Oh my!"_

" _Oh, is that how it happens?"_

 _My whole body shook. Oh my god. I'm going to kill him._

I swung behind, screaming, "Don't tell them all that crap! At least charge a hefty fee first!"

"Oh! That's a good idea!" Alma's eyes sparkled, "Give me a tub of mayonnaise and I will tell you everything."

"Deal!"

"NO ALMA!"

* * *

It took almost an hour to pry Alma away from his gossiping (something that I didn't realise become one of his pastime) and his gossipers and even more precious wasted minutes trying to escape from the crowd of nosey scientists who had nothing better to do than to listen to some kid babbling nonsense. And by the time were were alone in the hallways, far…far away from the chaos, I was brimming with anger and humiliation.

Catching my breath, I snapped behind and shook Alma as hard as I could, "What the hell was that!"

"I was only telling them the truth!"

"Gah! Now the whole lab knows!" I hollered, unable to bring myself to stop, "Do you even know what you've done to my reputation…"

Dizziness ripped through me as I struggled to stay on my feet. Breathing heavily, I could barely register as Alma wrapped an arm around me as the ground suddenly became closer. Heat and heaviness weighed down on my head and my vision became spotty for more than a moment.

"Doctor Edgar! I think something is wrong with Qin."

Everything lost its edge, feeling strange, distorted and blurry, like the axis of the earth suddenly shifted from beneath me and the ground was meeting the ceiling. _This…is not good._

"How many fingers am I holding up," I can barely register Edgar's voice as I forced myself to stare at where his fingers supposedly was.

"…Four, but I'm pretty sure that it's supposed to be two…" Closing one eye, I strained myself to remain conscious.

But when I opened my eyes, I was on the bed with Edgar on my side, with Edgar handing me a glass of water. The pressure dissipated and I felt almost normal again, minus the fatigue that clung to my being. Reaching out, I took the glass, gulping down the contents.

"Whoah, whoah, slowly. Take your time. Don't rush."

"What happened?" I wiped my mouth.

"You blacked out from exhaustion."

"…Oh."

Edgar dragged a nearby stool and settled down, staring down at me, a serious expression on his face, "Qin, have you been sleeping well lately?"

He caught my look and pushed further, "If at all?"

"I do sleep," Was it even the right choice for me to admit that?

"Alright…Do you have dreams? Nightmares?"

Instantly, my throat dried. I stared at the now empty glass, wishing I had left some to quench this sudden thirst. Fragments of my dreams and nightmare flashed in my mind as I struggled with a response. There was no way that I could tell him that I've been having dreams of my past life in the real world or the fact that I realised that I had holes in my own memories that I can't seem to fill. It's a road down to death.

Even if I trusted Edgar more than the others, I couldn't count on him.

But I couldn't exactly lie either.

Building up false courage, I opened my mouth, "Well, yeah, everyone have dreams right?"

"What do you dream about?"

My town…my friends…my family… "Oh you know. The usual crazy stuff."

"Like?"

I put on a smile of false bravado, "Like one with me being chased down by a twenty foot tall, indestructible flesh eating Yu-saurous with nowhere to run and no where to escape and the other being thrown into an Alma-esque world where everything is creepily filled with sparkly sparkles and kegs of mayonnaise!"

Edgar looked taken aback and speechless.

"And I hope that the next dream I have will be a good one," Grinning, I bared my teeth, "I hope to the bottom of my heart that it will be the one where I am the almighty witch, throwing screaming Yu and Alma into the boiling cauldron. Oh, wouldn't that be a lovely dream?"

A little payback for what they've done would be glorious.

"Uhh…is she feeling okay?" A nearby scientist whispered to Edgar.

"…" He refused to answer.

Well, at least he won't be questioning about my ' _dreams'_ anytime soon.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 _I wonder if I need a broomstick to be more convincing?_


	9. Under The Darkness of The Night

**Hello, I've been gone for a long time but I'm back now. The rewrite had been a long painful process but I eventually just push past it after being hurled one thing after another by life. I've actually rewrote things over and over again, trying to find the best way to convey it but I realised that I'm actually getting nowhere. Even though there's a lot of things I'm not happy with the way I've written certain scenes and structured the chapters but I realised that it's good enough and it's time to move on to the next scene.**

 **After all, there's lots to tell with this story and I should just let go and have fun while I write it.**

 **While I still can't guarantee a fixed update, I'll be updating more frequently as I can.**

 **Thank you for being patient with me. I hope that I can see this story to its completion.**

 **PS. You might want to read from the first or second chapter again (the first is still kind of the same I think) because I've changed quite a bit of the scenes and hopefully, it will be more comprehensive and maybe flow better than before.**

* * *

 **9th Night**

 **Under the Darkness of the Night**

* * *

Time passes by so fast that I could barely catch it with my fingers. It went, hour by hour, day by day, almost like clockwork. Wake up, bathe, eat, synchro testing and sleep. It comes one after the other in a monotonous manner until I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel. Constantly running forward but never getting anywhere.

Or more accurately, a puppet on strings.

What infuriated me most of all was the pillars of Innocence. Even just thinking about those monstrosity sent the hairs on my arms rising. Even without closing my eyes, I could still recall the electrifyingly sharp pain and the phantom whispers in my ears. If they were trying to say something to me I rather they said it already, instead of barbecuing me and passive aggressively scream-whisper at me.

And the thing that annoyed me most, was two things! Alma's endless meddling and Yu's irritating behaviour! Even the way he breathed grinds my nerves and sometimes, I'm not even sure why!

"Qin, do the singy singy thing you did last time!" Alma tries to hold down a trashing Kanda.

"Nu-uh. No way," Folding my arms, I looked away, jutting my chin out.

"Why not?" Alma yelled, this voice muffled as he remembered to keep his tone down, "You did it last time. What makes this time any different?"

"Because! He does this almost every night! I barely get to sleep anymore!"

"It's not like you sleep anyways," Alma grumbled under his breath and caught my gaze, "Yes, I noticed. It's not like you mumble to yourself every night about _pancakes_ and ice _cream,_ whatever those are and _for heavens sake, Mr Sandman, come and do your job and take me to dreamland already!_ "

I flushed. Maybe next time, I should keep my mumbles to myself.

"Qin, please, please, please."

"Nope."

"With a cherry on top?"

"No."

"With cherry and mayonnaise on top?"

"Gawd no!"

"Then what do you want from me? Ack!" He barely avoided getting cobbled.

"You do it!"

"Yu can't do it! He's the one trashing about! I don't think he even have half a mind to sing to himself right now!"

"No! I meant you," I jutted my finger at Alma, "You sing it, yourself."

His eyes grew wide and his mouth formed an 'O' as he finally realises what I had said. And then as if breaking the spell over him, he shook his head furiously and protests, "Wait! I can't sing! The last time I sang, Yu nearly punch my teeth off."

"Not my problem."

"He's your friend!"

"For the record, he's _your_ friend. Not mine."

"Qin!"

"Fine, if you're not going to do it, I'm going to poke him till he wakes up."

"Qin, wait! No!"

No sooner than my finger sunk into Yu's cheek, his leg swung vehemently at me and I found myself flying across the room, crashing into the wall, rattling shelves and knocking over bandages from a nearby table. Oh…That was a very, very, very bad idea. Groaning, I slowly pick myself off, swearing that there's going to be a fancy new bruise the next day.

"Ugh…remind me to never do that again."

"I told you it was a bad idea!" Alma hissed, wrestling with Yu's limbs, "Besides, I already tried that."

"Wait…are you telling me that you poke him?"

Even under the veil of darkness, I could tell that he was blushing with embarassment.

"And he ninja kick you to that very same spot?"

He didn't have to say a word, the expression on his face said everything and I couldn't help but to snicker. He bristled, turning to look at me with a look stuck between pleading and a glare, "Stop laughing and come help me already!"

"Fine," Giving up, I went closer and sang, softly brushing away the strands of hair from Yu's face, all the while thinking that his hair is so grimy and could really use a nice wash. Or even better, a trim.

No sooner than I thought about that, Yu's eyes snapped wide open and he jolted upright, slamming his forehead into mine. The reaction was instant, I dropped to the ground like a sack of rock and cradled my forehead in pain. That boy have one hard head. What the hell was it made off? Rock Coconut?

Alma reached out to help me. I held my hand out and rolled away, "Nope. Nope. You've done enough."

I couldn't help but to whine a little.

 _Why am I always the one hurt in these kind of situations?_

"Ugh…remind me to get a tranquilliser next time."

"For what?" Alma blinked, "To put you to sleep?"

"No, to put you to sleep!"

"You both are noisy," And Kanda even have the guts to be irritated.

"I don't want to hear that from you! Zip it," I scrambled to my feet, I reached out and pulled my blanked, wrapping it around me and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going, Qin?" Alma ran after me.

"Out! To be alone," I tilted my head backwards, "So don't you dare follow me."

"But-"

"No buts"

Rushing out, I closed the door behind me and took off down the dimly lit hallways of Laboratory 9. The heavy silence of the night was occasionally broken by the light sound of my footfalls. I couldn't remember when was the last time that I was truly alone. Since I've gotten here, I've been surrounded by scientists and Alma and Kanda…never having time for myself. And it feels liberating.

Reaching the doors to the Cold Containment Chamber, I gently pushed the door open and slip through, closing it as softly as I could, so I wouldn't wake anyone. Cold air, attacked me from head to toe, and my breaths came in puffs. Pulling the blanket tighter around myself, I started to walk, step by step, letting no thoughts flow in my mind and only concentrating on the noises in the air, the humming of the condenser similar to those when you open a fridge, the soft steps of my footsteps, my light breathing and the crinkling of my clothes.

It's really strange to think that not too long ago, I was a somewhat normal college student trying my best to stay afloat with deadlines, friends, family and just life in general and now…I'm a kid again…but not just any kind of kid…a Second Exorcist of all things. I have no idea why I was brought to this world. I mean, there must be a reason for everything, right? I softly scoff at such an optimistic view. There's never a guarantee that there's a reason for everything. But I couldn't help but want there to be.

If there wasn't…it would all be for nothing.

"Oh…" I looked down and realised that I'm gripping my wrist too tight, leaving angry red marks on pale skin.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, letting my frustrations go.

It wouldn't do me any good to get so tangled up anyways. I already have more than enough problems on my plate. Like how to make sure that the scientists never realised that I still have my memories of my past life and I'm actually from another world, how to stop getting barbecued by the pillars of Innocence each and every time and how to get home and get back to my life.

I pushed myself forward to continue the walk even though my mood had dampened.

There's not much I can do during the night. It wasn't like I could fall asleep anyways. _Even if I did…_ I sunk to my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs. I rather I don't dream. It was one thing to have dreams about your family, it was another when you can't see them again and even worse, when you realised that you've forgotten many things about them. I couldn't recall clearly what they looked like, only sensations…and the worse part was…I couldn't even remember their names.

…I can't even remember my own name…my _real_ name.

It almost feels like I've lost a part of myself, lost a part of my identity. Glancing down, I saw the stranger staring back at me from my reflection. Blue eyes, pale blonde hair and a pale face…I looked nothing like myself. I dipped my fingers into the water, sending ripples that chased my reflection away.

Shaking my hand dry, I stood up and kicked debris…doing just anything to get rid of the burning frustration inside me.

"Ahhh! Why can't things be easy for once?"

The pebble bounced across the floor and went plopped into the water. I paled. Rushing forward, I threw myself to my knees, hissing as the engravings dug into my skin, but I didn't care, pressing my hands to the edges, I looked down…to see an empty pool of water. Slumping, I let out a sigh of relief. For a moment, I half expected to see another Second Exorcist pissed off that I awakened it with a pebble to the noggin. Thank goodness, nothing like that happens. I'll probably be driven to insanity if I have to deal with anymore problems.

 _Wait…_

I glanced around, a sneaking suspicion started taking over my senses. _I don't remember mine or Alma's or Kanda's sleeping pod being this close to the altars…_ I looked around again, confirming what I first thought. No way, this was ours. Standing back up, I started walking around the Cold Containment Chamber, counting the number of empty pods.

 _One…Two…Three…_

 _Four…Five…Six…Seven…?_

I paused, rubbing my chin in deep thought. So we weren't the first. There had been others before us… _or…_ I looked around, rubbing my arms, feeling creeped out all of a sudden. It was one thing to come to the conclusion that others had awoken before us…but it's another creepier thought that someone might've awakened without anyone else knowing. _What if they're awakened now…and is just hiding and watching..._ Even if the creepier thought feel far fetched, it was still a terrifying thought. I couldn't bring myself to stay in the Cold Containment Chamber anymore.

Making a beeline towards the door, I ran out and slammed the door shut. _To hell with all this,_ I took off down the hallway, filled with intention to get back to the room where I at least felt safe.

* * *

"Wow, Qin had been gone for quite a while," Alma twiddled his thumbs.

"Hnn…" _And there goes another one of those…again._

Alma chuckled softly to himself, totally at lost at what to say. On one hand, he wanted to grumble at Qin and why the hell would she leave him alone like this and on the other hand, he shamefully admitted to himself that he was acting a tad bit like a coward…especially when it concerns Yu. None of this was Qin's fault. In fact, it might been his own. He had been using Qin as somewhat as a buffer and a shield when it comes towards Yu. Even after that day when he and Yu became some sort of friends, Alma still felt extremely nervous when it comes to spending time with him.

Which was the reason why he dragged Qin along whenever he could (which was all the time) and why he don't even have the courage to wake Yu up from the nightmare himself…

A twinge of guilt built up in his heart.

It wasn't fair to Qin. Maybe it was time…time for him to finally face his fear. Who knows, maybe Yu is a secret chatter box at heart? At the very worst, he would just receive a punch to the face or a bodyslam and that's all. Nothing that Alma can't handle.

" _Haha…Nothing I can't handle…"_ When he said it out loud, it was even less convincing.

"Why are you mumbling about over there?" Kanda narrowed his eyes at Alma.

"Nothing! Nothing," Alma waved his hand frantically about, "Just uh…wondering how are you feeling?"

Yu looked straight down at the blanket with that steely look of his that Alma had to wonder was he mad at the blanket (looked almost like he wants to set it on fire) or was he mad at him for asking that question. _Yeah, the blanket. He's mad at the blanket._ Alma didn't want to think that Yu was mad at him.

"Did you…" Alma bit his lip, already knowing that it won't go well, "Did you see that lady, again?"

Yu's face grew so dark and scary that Alma recoiled, waving his arms up in surrender, "Ack! I won't ask again! How about we talk about something else instead?"

"What…?"

"Huh?" Alma blinked.

"Talk about what?" Yu replied a little louder.

Alma was so surprised that he replied without thinking, "Mayonnaise?"

Yu's eyes narrowed and Alma instantly took it back, "Ah! No mayo. No mayo. How about something else instead…like…like…reading?"

Alma rushed to his own bed, digging his arm into the pillow, "Doctor Edgar and the others borrowed me a few books. Some are like cool, pretty stories. I think you would like them…"

 _Bingo!_ Alma pulled his arm out of a pillow in success, revealing a hard covered book only to realised with utter horror and embarrassment when the title read ' _101 recipe for Mayonnaise'._ Chuckling nervously and throwing it aside, Alma mumbled, " _Maybe not this one,"_ and continued to plunder the underneath of his pillow and finally pull out the book that he wanted, "It's the one."

Bouncing over, he ran towards Yu, handing the book onto his lap, beaming brightly, "I think you would love this one, Yu. Give it a go."

Alma watched Yu with expectant eyes as the boy hesitantly picked up the book and flipped it open almost painfully deliberative, stare at the page and the seconds passed by almost painfully for the both of them. And then Alma realised that something was not quite right. Yu was just staring and staring at the same page, unmoving.

"Uhhh, Yu…Is something wrong?"

"…" Yu refused to meet his eyes.

"…" Alma stared…and the realisation dropped on him like a ton of bricks, "Yu…you can't read, can you?"

"…" _Oh…_ The silence says it all. If that wasn't enough, the expression on Yu's face was more than clear enough.

"Then let's read it together!" Without waiting, Alma climbed up into Yu's bed, half expecting himself to be pushed off the bed but to his surprise it never happened. He turned to beam at Yu, "Come on, it'll be fun!"

To Alma's surprise, they ended up having a good time. And for the first time since they had become somewhat friends, Alma felt like they were becoming closer.

* * *

I peeked down the left hallway, down the right hallway and to the hallway behind me. _Oh no…I'm lost._ It took me long enough to admit to myself that I had taken the wrong turn somewhere back there. And I couldn't even tell that I was lost at first, everything looked the same. But as I stared at the unfamiliar path in front of me, I'm starting to feel unsettled.

I thought by now, I would have the place completely memorised. Apparently, I was wrong.

Taking a step back, I wanted to retrace my steps backwards, and maybe by some kind of luck, I might find a way back or run into one of the Golems or Scientists to take me back to the room. I walked swiftly, taking twists and turns with my arms wrapped around one another, trying to keep the creepy feeling of silence and darkness at bay.

 _Come on. Come on._

I never thought I'd be so eager to return back to that room. But now, I'm even starting to regret leaving it. Stomping my feet childishly on the ground, I silently cursed at my own stupidity. It felt like I've been walking around in circles. Reaching the end of the hallway, I peeked forward…and once again I was nowhere near where I want to be.

"Great…Just great…"

At this point I was tired and continue forward, hoping that I would just run into anyone…even Sirlin Epstein would be a blessing at this point. The darker and morbid side of my mind however, wondered if I was going to be stuck here in the hallways for an eternity. I shook my head hard, knocking the thought right off…and nearly tripped…on a large rock on the ground…which I wondered how the hell did I miss that?

Returning back to the centre of gravity, I stared at the scene before me. Tapes blocking off entrance to a door completely bent out of shape like some kind of monster with super strength yanked it open and trashed everything inside. From the wide gap, I could see overturned beds, bloodied pillows and shattered pieces of furnitures. It was like an entrance to a horror carnival…which I'm definitely not going anywhere near.

I turned and was prepared to fun for the hills when I slammed straight into a warm body.

"Oh," The body spoke, "Is that you, Qin?"

Looking up, I recognised Zu immediately. Relief washed through my entire system and I felt like my entire knees was going to buckle. I was half concerned by what he was doing wandering around at this hour in the night but my relief was so overpowering that I am completely willing to overlook it. As long as I get to go back to familiar lands.

"What are you doing here, wandering so far away from your room?"

"I got lost."

He stared at the room behind me and an incomprehensible look crossed his face. A look that I couldn't even begin to decipher. Sighing, he offered me his hand and willingly I took it and he led me down the hallway once more. The majority of the walk was silent, not even a silver of conversation took place and to be honest, I was relieved. There was so many things that I wanted to talk about but it would get me killed and I have a feeling that he have lots of questions that he would ask (casually or not) but I wouldn't be able to answer.

And before I knew it, we were in front of the room.

"Go on," Zu released my hand, "Get a good night rest and forget what you've seen tonight. It's best not to tell anyone that you've been wandering around in the dead of night."

Nodding, I opened the door and entered the room, the familiar surroundings brought great relief to me and I felt wave after wave of tiredness in my bones. I stared at the two figures sleeping against each other on Kanda's bed and shook my head. At least they had a better time than me tonight. Sighing, I headed to my bed but even as I sunk under the covers. I couldn't sleep.

My mind kept trailing back to the empty pods that I've found and the wrecked bloody room. Even though I tried my best to pass the days with lightness and humour, it was the small things like these that reminded me of the darkness that played in the backdrop of this world.

And even if I closed my eyes, none of it would fade away.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 _Even if unseen, it's not forgotten._

* * *

 **What do you think?**

 **This is more of a warm up practice than anything. The story is going to gain more structure and momentum in the next chapter as Qin dive deeper into actually doing things and contemplating deeply on what she would have to do and what she would've have to choose before** _that_ **time comes. I also want to include more of Alma and Kanda's relationship (because I want them to feel like real friends) and I want to include more of the side characters (such as the scientists and Zu and so on) because they play quite a huge role on this arc.**

 **Hopefully, I can unfold the story in an interesting and fun way.**

 **That's all for now.**

 **I hope you all have a wonderful time and remember to take things easy once in a while and take care of your health :)**


	10. Secrets & Promises

**Yoo-hoo~ I've been super busy lately that I'm even surprised that I managed to finish this chapter. And then I had the urge to edit this chapter again but then the writing will never end haha...so I will just leave it as it is for now and focus on fleshing out the story more a bit. How have you all been?**

 **Thanks sleepwillow, Savage Kill, Anime no Akuma, kedig82 (damn, you're flattering me so much, I'm blushing) and mangatown2010 for the reviews for the previous chapter. :) And thanks for everyone that left a review, follow and fave while I was on hiatus. I really appreciate it.**

* * *

 **10th Night**

 **Secrets & Promises**

* * *

"Qin, Wake up…"

Mumbling in the hazy state of my mind, I pushed away the finger that prodded my cheek, barely registering the grumble of indignation and whispered words of impatience. I didn't care. I didn't have enough sleep yet. It would take the devil to part me from this soft, soft pillow. Turning to my other side, I sighed contented as my head sunk deeper, crossing the lines further into dreams. It was a sweet dream. It was a good dream. Even though the specifics escaped me…I could still feel the warmth and content left over. And I'm never letting it go.

"Qin, wake up!" Hands shook me.

"I'm awake…I'm awake…" Rising from bed, I fell back to the pillow, eyes closed and floating again, "I'm…awake…"

A sigh, "What am I going to do with you?"

Bare whispers.

"What….No…Yu, wait. I know that look on that face," A hand clamped on my shoulder and rocked me, "Qin, you better wake up now before…"

My blanket and source of all warmth was ripped from me and I felt myself falling off the bed. Heart thundering, my eyes snapped opened only to catch a glimpse of Kanda freaking Yu holding my precious before I slammed against the floor. Pain erupted through my left shoulder and I groaned. _What a way to ruin a perfectly good dream…_

"…Before it's too late…" Another heavy sigh.

How many times was it already? The hundredth? The thousandth? If he keep sighing like that, I would mistake him for an old man like Sirlin instead of a young lad that he is.

Peeking over the bed, his face was jaded (not that I blame him…this happens too many times) but he still asked, "Are you okay?"

In which I just blew a raspberry, "As if!"

He looked so done….so done, "You're fine."

"Of course she's fine. She's an idiot." Oh, there's my favourite person in the whole wide world - My favourite person to punch! And it's well deserved too!

"Oh Yu," He narrowed his eyes, not really liking the way I used his name…which was the reason why I won't ever stop, "You're such a kidder. It's really funny that you call me an idiot, when you're the one who doesn't know the word ' _once upon a time'_."

Kanda turned accusingly to Alma who laughed rather sheepishly, "I might've let it slipped…"

 _Let it slipped?_ Letting it slip was an understatement. He was practically gushing and squealing the entire recollection of that event at me, every detail unmissed. And multiple times too…until I pretty much have a very clear idea where and which words Kanda screwed up and more hilariously how he seemed confused at the concept of fairy tales. It's also a little funny how it becomes such a sore point for Kanda and its clear in the fact that he had avoided being seen with those fairytale books whenever there's even a hint of human life around. But boy, does he think he's being sneaky but he really isn't.

"I'll have you know, his fairy tale knowledge is much better now, thank you very much." Alma _hmphed,_ sticking his nose in the air and folding his arms looking like a proud father figure slash teacher.

…Or more accurately…like a proud boyfriend…I silently sniggered. _Oh they have no idea how many blackmail material they're handing over to me._ I have to give it to both Alma and Kanda though. Alma had the patience of a saint, guiding Kanda through book after book even though the latter gets blasty and cursey when he get's stuck but at least Yu never gave up. So kudos…I guess.

Kanda stepped in front of Alma, "Well, you're the bigger idiot. I've never seen anyone who falls down over nothing, babbles nonsense and change the subject midway like you forgot what you're talking about and keeps getting lost even though everyone showed you where to go multiple times!"

I held up my pointer finger and opened my mouth only to close it again a second later. _He got me there._

But I'm stubborn. Like hell I would let him one up me like that.

"So, Yuu," I picked at my fingernails as I pulled his name, "You've been getter at words right? So can you tell me what's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?"

He frowned, falling silent for quite a while before glaring, "You're making that up. That's not a real word."

"Is it?" I lifted my brow in challenge. _Well, I'm not the one who made it up…_

"Enough with word games…mind games! Let's get going already," Alma huffed, stepping in between the both of us.

"Uhh…to where?" I patted the lints and dust off my clothes.

"To see our friends, where else?"

 _Oh…he meant the Cold Containment Chamber._

"Come on, let's go!"

And despite all my efforts, all my resistance, I still find myself in the Cold…oh so freaking Cold…Cold Containment Chamber, listening to Alma yapping off about one thing or another while Kanda leaned against the wall, off in his thoughts on who knows what. I already knows why Alma wanted to come here every single morning and yap off but there was many times where he dragged me and Kanda around (separately of course), pointing out who's who and what's what. But I can barely even keep up with the days, let alone memorise all the names of the sleeping Seconds. Besides, what's the point? They… _No,_ I shook my head. I didn't want to think about it.

 _How long are you not going to think about it?_

Just not now. There's still time, right?

I sneezed, breaking through parts of Alma speech as he leapt up in the air surprised. The timing and the look on his face was so funny that even Kanda sniggered (even though he tried to hide it). Alma glanced straight at me and I waved him off apologetically.

"Now, how long are you going to continue your condiment talk? It's cold out here."

"Condiment talk?" I shrugged, "Ya know…Pepper, honey, mustard…Mayo…"

He didn't find my joke funny.

"Nevermind," I sighed, looking down into the waters again and what do you know…it's one of the empty ones…

Great. Just when I don't want to think about any of this, it always comes creeping back. I covered my eyes, dreading the whirlwind of thoughts that threathen to start up again.

"Hey, are you okay?" I could hear Alma on my left, closer than before…which means that he was right beside me.

" _Do you always have to be so gloomy?" A flash of a boy who had been my friend frowned at me._

It's been a while since I've thought of that. I tilted my head to the side and gave a wry smile at Alma, "Peachy…as always."

"Nah, talk to me." He elbowed me and I rubbed the sore spot that haven't quite healed from the last trip to the synchro-testing room…none of it have quite healed.

I shook my head, not really willing to open that can of worms.

"Come on, you know you want to," If he keeps elbowing me like this, I might just push him into the water…for once.

"Alright, alright, stop using your sharp elbow on me," I scooted a step away but he stepped closer bring the distance back to none, "Jeez, nosy much?"

"Well," He huffed with a bit of indignation, "So far nosy me have worked right? You became my friend and after so many trials and errors and wounded pride-"

"Pride?" I wiggled my eyebrows, "Is that really something that you have?"

"Shut up," He knocked his shoulder against mine, "It worked on Yu too in the end."

His gaze started to cloud over as he stared into the pit, "It's kind of weird when I think about it…I was all alone when I woke up almost more than a year ago…Everyday, there was nothing for me to do other than to come here and talk to them…and even though Doctor Edgar and the others had been kind and nice to me…it felt strangely lonely. It's like the entire space was so large and empty and no matter how I fill it with stuff…not that I have much stuff to begin with…it stills feels empty. And then Yu wake up and you followed not too long after. I have to say...It's kind of nice…not being alone for a change."

I suddenly have nothing to say.

After weeks and weeks of hearing nothing but nonsense from him, this sudden sense of depth greatly surprises me. He had given a strong impression of silliness, to hear this from him…felt odd to me…and yet, at the very same time, it made sense.

And…deep down, I felt a familiarity with the way he describe the empty lonely space…It was like an echo of who I am…who I _was_ before all of this. But in my case, no matter how many friends or how many people I shoved into that large empty space…it never stops feeling empty.

There was always a distance between me and the people around me…an invisible cage I can't surpass…Just like right the distance between me and Alma…at this very instant.

Sometimes…I wonder how much of the real me others truly see when they see me?

The sudden rush of thoughts tugged at my heart, pulling open one by one the bars that kept the dam shut…but before it truly let loose, I clamped my hand around it, snapping it shut once again. Like hell I'm going to let it tear open my soul.

"Good for you," And silence fell on us again.

But it was the source of discomfort on my end. As it dragged on, the thoughts in my mind started to flow and intensify, taking a life of their own…and if I did nothing, it would become worse.

"Hey Alma," I tilted my head towards him, focusing _on_ him, "Do you think it's weird that even though there's only three of us are awakened…that there's seven empty sleeping pits in here? Have they always been empty?"

If I could roll my eyes at my own mind I would. To avoid thinking of unhappy things, the first thing that came was unsettling things? Really? But then, even though I was hoping to talk about something more casual and fun, this would have to do.

His brows furrowed, "I guess you're right, but they've always been empty. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I sunk my chin on my arm, "Just curious."

He gave me a look as if he was trying to measure up and decode what I had said but I didn't care to return the gaze…It would only lead to more questions…questions that I'm not willing to answer, not when I myself don't have the answers.

At the very least. Now I know it was nothing.

But even as I came to that conclusion, I couldn't find it in myself to relax as my mind flashed back to that room with bended doorway and wrecked furniture. Uneasiness washed over me as I found myself surrounded by even more questions like…what was that room? Who used to be in that room? Was it the exorcists before us? What exactly happened in there?

* * *

Zu Mei Chang wiped the top of his forehead as he set the knife down, admiring his handiwork of thinly sliced cabbages. It was perfect for the fried noodles the chef wants to cook and serve today. In one fast movement, he swiped the cabbages into a bowl and replaced it with another half, knife moving in fast, practiced movements that sets his mind and soul at peace.

He was in his element.

And the kitchen was the favourite place in the entire ninth laboratory. There was something about the energy from the motions of cooking, the smell of fresh food and the loud cheerful chatter between the staffs that fills him with ease. It almost felt like when he was a young boy again, before he had even started to learn the art of being a sorcerer and before everything else…

His chopping motions slowed, and his mood soured at that sudden swing of thought. And as the thought bloomed with unpleasant memories one by one, he could feel the self hatred and shame slowly crawling up the back of his spine.

He slammed the cleaver down, digging the blade onto the chopping board, cutting down the thoughts before they start to take root. Even without looking up, he could feel eyes boring into him, wondering what caused such a visceral reaction. And to Zu's relief, he heard a familiar voice chasing off the staring bystanders. And before he knows it, that person was standing before him, one hand on their waist and the other prying out the cleaver from the board and setting it down properly.

"Oi, Zu Mei, you might want to stop doing that unless you're helping us chop up more firewood, my friend," Chef Peng, one of Zu's friend laughed even though Zu could pick up a hint of concern in his voice, "And you don't really want to be a bad influence on the new kid, don't you? The boy looks up to you. And if he ends up following your example…the poor boy would have to pay out of his pockets for a new chopping board."

Zu's lips quirked up a little at the thought of the scrawny new kid cleaving the thick chopping board in half in one blow, "As much as that's an amusing thought, I don't think he has the strength to break a chopping board that has been around twice as long as he has."

"You're right. His fingers might break first," They both slowly moved away from the kitchen workflow and sat at the little table at the back, pouring cups of tea and sipping away.

"So," Chef Peng, set the cup down, pouring another round of tea, "What has got you upset this time?"

"No different from the normal," Zu couldn't even keep the grimness off his voice as his visage of the past hang over him heavily like a coat he couldn't fully shake.

"It's a long time ago, my friend. You should forgive yourself and move on."

"I can't," He admitted it quietly, "The sins that I've committed are still continuing and until it stops, I don't think I can forgive myself or move on."

Chef Peng let out a heavy sigh, filled with both understanding and utter disapproval. He had already known that his friend was as stubborn as a mule and nothing he could say would change his mind. The silence that hangs over the both of them was comfortable and yet tensed, just like the nature of their relationship since it began a long time ago.

"You've already made the decision to stop the Second Exorcist project, the moment you realised the ramifications and the consequences," Chef Peng set the teapot down, "When the Generals and Epstein pushed for it to continue. There's nothing you could've done."

Chef Peng grumbled as he watched Zu's face still remained in one of barely disguised pain, "Why must you insist on torturing yourself like this?"

"Have you seen the awakened Seconds?" It was frustrating that his old friend danced around the reply like this.

"You mean those three? Er…Alma, Yu…and what's that kid name again…Qin?" Chef Peng scratched the back of his neck, "Of course I've seen them. I see them everyday."

"They are suffering because of what I've done," The tea tasted bitter, "And nothing I do can change it."

"…Even so, you're trying your best," _Even if it doesn't change the things you've done,_ the silence was pronounced, "If you haven't intervened, Epstein would've full control of the Second Exorcist Project…Heh, I would say that Missy Twi is doing pretty well considering the circumstances."

Zu closed his eyes. _And I've dragged even more people into the mess I've created._ When he had resigned from the Second Exorcist Project, he had even put down his mantle as the Head of the Asian Branch…And the Head of the Asian Branch has always been a Chang and passed down to another Chang, just like how his father had passed it down to him and how he had passed it down to Twi… _If only he didn't burden them with the weight of his mistakes…_

"Speaking of which," The voice of his friend brought him back out of his thoughts, "There's something I still can't quite understand…"

"And that is?"

"Isn't your boy Edgar closer to you in blood? So I wonder why you chose Missy Twi to be your successor instead of your nephew."

Zu sighed, pouring another cup of tea, dragging the seconds of silence longer, "It was my original intention for him to become my successor. That was the reason why I had brought him into the project in the first place…However…circumstances changed."

He didn't allow those awful memories to have even a remote chance to haunt his mind again…he couldn't take it.

"Even if that boy-"

"Man," Chef Peng chuckled slamming the cup down on the table, "Edgar haven't been a boy since he's been wed to the Missy!"

"That's true," Zu couldn't help but to let a smile played on his lips but it faded as quickly as it came, "He would've made a wonderful leader…but he has a weakness. Two weaknesses"

"…" It was Chef Peng's silent stare that let Zu know that he had finally understood. It wasn't hard for him to get it. After all, he had been there when it happened…and he witnessed everything.

"I supposed it was the best," Chef Peng finally sighed and they let the silence played comfortably around them.

"Hn," Zu agreed lifting the cup to his lips…

But tried as he might, he couldn't keep his thoughts from straying to the children of the Second. And the more he thought about them, the more his worries compounded. Alma's sense of loneliness…Yu's dreams and visions, the risk that lies ahead…And Qin…As he thought about the youngest of the Seconds to awakened, he couldn't help but to worry even more. From the day she had awakened…there was something strange in her eyes…it was like a sense of awareness and maturity that was mostly absent in Alma's and Yu's when they first awakened. And for quite a long while, Zu had thought that he had imagined it. But that night…near _that place…_ he could see it again. He wasn't sure why but it almost felt like she _knows_ what had happened…but that's not possible.

 _Is it?_

It was almost like back then, wasn't it?

"Achoo!" Edgar pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his nose, his cheeks burning at the eyes of the mess hall drawing towards him.

It was just his luck that he happened to sneeze at the exact pivotal point of conversation that shattered through the flow of chatter that normally overtook the mess hall. Silently, he apologised and was instantly relieved when the eyes fell off him one by one and the room resumed to its usual state.

"Whoah, Doctor Edgar, that was a big sneeze," Alma looked up at him with wide eyes, his spoon filled with mayonnaise hanging in midair, "Are you getting sick?"

"Probably not," He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling uncharacteristically foolish, "Someone must be talking about me."

"Really?" The kid's eyes began to sparkle, "You mean you can actually tell that someone is talking about you when you sneeze? Does that mean that every time I sneezed, there's someone talking about me? I used to sneeze a lot in the past…Does that mean that was Yu talking about me? That's so cool!"

"That's not really-" He couldn't even get an inch out.

"Oh, oh! Qin had been sneezing a lot lately, does that mean that people are talking about her?"

Edgar's head swung towards the girl who sat at the opposite side of the table to Alma, rolling her spoon around the top of the bowl, spilling many of the supplement over and with a creasing brow, looking none too pleased.

"Er…" He couldn't actually say that Alma was wrong on that assumption considering that she had been the topic of most conversations among his colleagues lately.

"I don't think that's how that works, Alma," She propped her elbow onto the table and leaned the side of her face onto her palm, "It's just a belief and a saying. It doesn't really mean that someone's talking about you."

 _And how would you know that?_ Edgar kept quiet, the smile on his face never quite fading, although internally, he can't help but to feel a sense of worry. His mind hastily tries to recall every kind of book that had been in their hands and would possibly landed in ther hands and wondered which book was it that contained that kind of trivia. But he was pretty much a regular guy, he can't recall everything that clearly.

"Ugh…I'm hungry," It was like a ninety degree change. One minute she felt like an adult and now, she was like a child, pressing her cheek against the table and eyeing the bowl of supplements with a healthy amount of disgust.

In all honesty, Edgar wouldn't want to be eating that too.

"But I want real food! Give me real food!" Qin whined and Edgar couldn't help but to chuckle. If he had not known any better, it felt like he was on a normal outing with his three children and have to deal with the youngest who's a picky eater who refuses to eat their vegetables.

"Those supplements are good for you. You should eat up."

She stared at him almost accusingly, "Easy for you to say. You're having vegetable spaghetti," and proceeded to eye his food with jealousy.

"…Er…" She's right, "Okay, maybe you can have something good if you finish up."

Almost instantly, she sunk in despair, "Ugh that would take forever."

Edgar could only laugh at her reaction. It was strange but it was moments like this that he felt like it was like back then all those years ago when Bak was still like a kid. In fact, this was the exact reaction Bak had whenever he was forced to finish his vegetables.

Qin sat up, back straight, eyes staring down at him (not tha she could considering that he was taller than her by a lot) as if challenging him, "Two spoonfuls. Then, that's it. I get to eat something nice for a change."

That's not going to happen. If he would allow it, Twi would kill him, and if she won't, Sirlin Epstein would kill him, "Maybe half."

"Half a spoonful?" Qin's eyes sparkled.

"Half a bowl," Twi spoke offhandedly as she passed by causing Qin to jump, "No negotiations."

"You heard the woman!" Rikki yelled as he followed, "Eat your veggies, kids!"

In which Qin's response was to stick her tongue out at him. "Ugh, even veggies would be better than this," She shoved a spoonful into her mouth and chew with reluctance. But then her brow rose a little. _Uh-oh, she's scheming again._ He had been around these kids long enough to know how exactly they react to certain things and the cues that they were going to get into trouble again. He watched silently as she stared at the bowl and slowly shifted it closer towards the edge. _Is she thinking of pushing the bowl down so she wouldn't have to finish it?_

"Don't. even. think. about. it," Renee's frozen glare was enough to stop her.

"What?" Qin puffed her cheeks and threw her arms in the air, looking almost offended, "What? Why is everyone ganging up on me today?"

His colleagues who had caught wind of the conversation were snickering and chuckling behind her. And she immediately caught wind of it, throwing her head back and glowering at them with the same intensity as Renee's frozen glare…but unfortunately, she ended up looking not so menacing and more like a miffed child instead.

"Aw, Qin…It's not that bad, especially if you add a little mayonnaise," Alma waved his spoon around before scooping up a spoonful and pointing it towards Qin's direction, "Wanna try?"

Qin shrunk back, looking almost sick, "No. No thank you."

Alma didn't look the slightest miffed or disheartened, "What about you Yu? I promise it's delicious," Alma changed his target to the boy beside him and almost instantly, Qin started inching away expecting a fight to happen ( _and she wasn't the only one…_ Nearby scientists inched away too) but Edgar couldn't help but to notice that she had purposely left the bowl behind. But Yu didn't get angry of yell or even throw a fist…instead just shook his head and pushed away the spoon with his own back to Alma. Qin looked almost surprised…but Edgar just felt his heart melt.

 _Just when did they become so close?_

But the how's didn't really matter to Edgar. All that matters to him was that the three of them was getting along much better than they had before and that they were much, much closer now. And more importantly, Alma was looking much brighter and much happier than before. It eases his worries for a bit. _I really hope that they can stay like this for a little longer…_

"I don't see half the bowl gone. Not finish, no deal," Twi set her cup of coffee down beside him and took a seat.

Qin groaned, pressing her forehead against the table.

Edgar laughed but his mind was filled with conflicting thoughts…Things felt so peaceful…almost like a dream. A dream that he hopes won't ever end.

* * *

"Again! Connect with the Innocence!"

Edgar turned away from the glass, the sight of them collapsing onto the ground was too much. And even though it was so far away, he could almost swear he could smell burnt flesh.

"Sirlin, don't push them," It was the same argument over and over again but Edgar couldn't help but to say it again.

"Push them? It's the most successful we had in years! We're so close! I could feel it!"

"Sirlin, you-" He bit down on his words.

He couldn't step out of line.

His gaze briefly met Twi's who had a hint of warning shining from within her eyes, and he quickly turn away, his feet leading him out of the door and away from Sirlin's loud booming voice and the screams of Qin, Yu and Alma… It felt endlessly childish. What they were doing…the experiments…the Second Exorcist Project, he knew the reasons why they were doing it…but when it comes to those children… _he can't._ Even though he knows the truth behind the project and that they weren't actually children…but every time he saw them, he couldn't help but to see Bak in them…and in the end, he treated them like his children.

To see them hurt and in pain, he couldn't bear it.

"That was unnecessary," Twi's heels clicked and bled into silence as she stood in front of him.

"I know…" He couldn't even meet her eyes. He couldn't face her. At least not now.

"And, I'm sorry…" _That you have to carry my burden…because I couldn't do it._

* * *

"Okay…what are you doing?"

I lifted my eyebrow at Alma who was busying himself, pushing Kanda's bed from the end of the room till it was pressing against his own, creating a situation where his bed was sandwiched between mine and Mr. Grumpy Bear's over there. My brow rose higher as I demanded an answer even though I already have a rough idea of what he was doing.

"Isn't it obvious?" Alma gasped, mock wiping his brow as if pushing the bed took a lot of effort, "We're having a sleepover!"

"Uhh…Alma, we live in the same room. We do sleepovers everyday."

"But never like this! I mean, imagine how great it would be if the three of us could sleep shoulder to shoulder?"

I held my shoulder which was tightly bandaged and aching and couldn't help but to flinch. _Ugh…_ That did not sound a least bit tempting right now. I feel so fragile and wobbly, like my body would fall apart at any moment. And considering the facts and circumstances, it just might. And I'm totally not looking forward to that. "At least leave some space in between will ya?"

"No way."

"Then some shoulder space at least," I sneaked a peek at Kanda who was just leaning against the doorway looking ready to keel over at any moment, "You know how grumpy bear over there likes to toss and turn at night. You sure don't want to be that close when his fist meets your cheeks."

I could already feel him glaring a hole in my back…but he didn't say a word.

"Fine! But we're all still sleeping together."

It wasn't long before the lights dimmed and the three of us were huddled up in bed, careful not to aggravate each other's injuries. Then we talked. Well, Alma talked a lot on his own until everything eventually simmered into silence accompanied by the humming of the machines. And I was by myself with my thoughts again. No matter how I tossed and turned, I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head.

"Hey, Alma?"

"Hm?"

"Alma, can you promise me something?"

"What is it?"

"Promise me…"

"Hn?"

"Promise me that you'll stay as you are. That no matter what happens…you will never change."

"What-"

"Just promise me," I pressed, heart beating fast.

There was silence. I thought he was going to ignore me. But then, a hand wrapped around mine, feeling it with warmth. And the way he gripped it, felt so sincere, like he was willing me to believe him.

"I promise."

I didn't believe in promises…but I truly hope that this one lasts.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,_

 _you make me happy, when skies are grey,_

 _You'll never know dear, how much I love you,_

 _Please don't take my sunshine away._

* * *

 **To be honest, when I decided to rewrite it, I wanted to focus more on the other scientists and their dynamics towards each other but each time I tried, I kinda get pulled back into Qin's narrative. And then, I just gave up and power through the rewrite and decided that I should start from where I stop. And all these came. I never planned for Zu to take center stage but after brushing up a lil on the manga (I couldn't re-read the whole thing yet, I'm swamped), I kinda realised that Zu plays a really big role in Kanda's life. So here's Zu.**

 **Hopefully, I get to explore a lil bit more before we get to "that" part.**

 **It's a bit hard to get a handle on the scientists characterisation since there's not much on them in the manga but I hope that I can make it believable base on what information I managed to dig out. I'm kinda excited since we barely get much from the manga and I've always wondered how they would be like.**

 **It would be great if you guys could tell me what you think about this chapter and go crazy with the scientists headcanons! Like, I feel like Renee would have a collection of mini cactuses on her desk! Random and ooc, maybe! But I think its hilarious that Rikki would in turn would stay clear of her desk in fear that she would hurl one at him. And because of the peace and quiet she gets around her cactuses, she likes them a lot.**

 **Take care everyone. I'll see you in the next chapter.**


	11. Do you want to build a snowman?

**Phew, I thought this chapter was never going to get done. The initial draft I had, played things out differently but I had a lot of trouble writing it to feel natural so I had to play around with this until it came out in a way that's different from what I thought but it's good enough.**

 **First of all, I want to apologised. I said that I wanted to update more often and I meant it. But some things came up and I ended up having to choose focus on my life first. It was a pretty confusing time and I had difficulty enjoying or keeping up with almost anything but it's gradually getting better now. I also hope to complete this arc soon, only a few more chapters left to go. (Yay and also nay, because I love this three together)**

 **Thank you for the comments and I hope that you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

 **11th Night**

 **Do you want to build a snowman?**

* * *

Silence was something I hated the most even when I was alive.

There was nothing but emptiness and yet, in a twisted way, it was the loudest moment of any humans existence. Everything that I had avoided thinking and…feeling comes rushing forward, filling up the cracks of silence until it becomes…unbearable. I held my wrist tightly, circling my arms around my knees wishing that the mere action would keep away the impending flood of thoughts.

No such luck. There was never such luck.

It didn't help that I had just woken up shaking and cold with sweat from a nightmare. Fragments of it still fresh in my mind. Breath shaking and shuddering at the ghostly sensation of Alma's blood bound Innocence piercing through my chest, cracking through the regeneration core. Just the worst. Of all the dreams I could've had, it had to be the one that Alma went and kill everyone.

Shuddering, I hissed, letting out a steam of frustration, thoughts untangling and dropping on me like a ton of brick, one after another.

It's coming. My guts twisted, finally admitting it to myself. Summer had already gone, autumn was almost over and soon, winter would come.

And… My gaze dropped to Alma's sleeping figure, feeling cold for the first time…I have no idea what's going to happen.

No, I know. It's always going to be Yu. He's always going to choose Yu. Nothing would change. Even though, I was his friend first, I still know. From the beginning, Alma would always choose Yu. Even though he never said it, even though he tries not to show it, only an idiot would not notice the way he looks and acts towards Kanda. Even though the latter always screamed and threw fist at him, Alma never stopped trying. Even though, he tries to hide it, he always notices Yu. Nothing was going to change, it was always going to be Yu and Alma.

I don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I wasn't even suppose to exist in the first place.

And then my stomach growled. "Oh muffin and skittles," Night time hunger pangs never really goes away. Time to raid the pantry.

Pushing myself of the bed, I snuck out of the room, carefully shutting the door behind me as not to wake anyone (especially a certain grumpy ass bear) up and made my ways down the ever dingy hallways that once seems like a maze but feels more familiar now. It didn't take me long to recall the route to the mess hall, speeding up a couple of steps to outrun the shadows that lingered behind me. They should really think about getting LED lights or even those soft yellow lights that seemed welcoming instead of this sickly orange that made me feel like I'm walking into a horror movie.

Relief flooded my system as the entrance of the mess hall came into my sight, like a warm welcoming friend. I sped up, licking my lips at the thought of all the food I could have and none of those pill crap. Chef Peng and Zu Mei Chang may never let me near a knife but damn hell am I going to let two old geezers get in the way of me and a delicious pipping hot meal!

I skidded in a stopped on my tracks, eyebrows knitting in confusion. Black hair, pint size, eyes and face knotted into a grumpy frown. Kanda? What is he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be back at the room, snoozing away to god knows what? Keeping my steps as quite as possible, I snuck up to him, dropping to his ear level and whispered, "What you- mmh!"

Eyes widening, he grabbed me, covering my mouth. I had half the mind to bite down and knee him where the sun don't shine when I caught the scent of burnt tea and bubbling conversation.

We lowered ourselves to the ground, hiding behind the tall table and bench and under the blanket of heavy shadows as two figures emerged from the back of the kitchen, holding a flickering candle that lit bright enough to made out who they were.

"Burnt tea and a couple of stale crackers," Twi Chang stated as a matter of factly as she set the mugs onto the table and sat down in a gentle swoop, giving the other figure a half judgemental look.

Edgar gave a wry smile, rubbing the back of his neck looking sheepish, "I never claimed that I was a good cook."

"Hm, apparently you burn water too," She took a sip, face showing no expression if it tastes as bad as it smelt, "If I wasn't so tired, I could've done better."

"I have no doubt in that," He joined her, taking a single sip, expression shuttering before setting it down in the far corner. He wasn't going to drink it anytime too soon and Twi caught on, eyes twinkling with smug playfulness.

He coughed, "How are you holding up, Twi? You've been pushing yourself lately and you don't look too well."

She rested her elbow on the table and pinched the bridge of her nose, looking more tired than usual now that I had taken notice, "Well enough. I do feel a little nauseas as of late."

Edgar reached over the table and set his palm on her shoulder…and I couldn't stand anymore of this romantic crap and poked at Kanda's ribcage glaring at him to let go. He didn't even seemed phased almost like he's fixated on the conversation and melodrama happening right in front of him. I can't believe this. Well, you leave me no choice.

I closed my eyes and braced myself.

He recoiled, letting down and dropping silently backwards, wiping fervently away the saliva from the hand that I had licked him, mouthing words of "What the hell was that for?" angrily.

And for the first time in this life, I flipped him the bird, "Payback bitch."

He narrowed his eyes at me and I'm pretty sure that there's retaliation shinning in his irises…but he just turned his back on me and peeped at the corner sucking right back into the drama and romance.

Edgar slides into the seat next to Twi, "Maybe you should take the next few days off."

And she looked like she was considering it.

Okay, that's it. This was way beyond weird and I have to put a stop to this. Launching forward, I grabbed Kanda by his collar, pulling him back with maybe a little too much force causing him to tumble down on his butt. I dug my foot down onto the ground and towered over him.

"What the matter with you?" I mouthed angrily, throwing my hands in the air, "They're having a conversation. Why are we here eavesdropping on their moment like a bunch of creeps when we could be in that pantry filling our bottomless stomachs! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Jabbing my finger at him over and over in a repeated motion must've gotten old to him be cause he snapped his teeth at it. I recoiled, holding my finger against my chest. He tried to bite me. He's going to wish he never did that. Leaping, I tackled him, pulling ears but he anticipated my moves, grabbing my wrists and pressing his foot on my stomach, lifting me as far away from him. Dammit.

"…Qin"

We froze. Silently holding our breathes, we stared through the opaque table cloth where the two sat. Did they noticed us?

"Those three are always in some form of trouble or another," Edgar chuckled.

We sighed with relief. They were just talking about us.

"And you think that I can even get a couple days off with them around," Even if I couldn't see her, I'm pretty sure that she was shaking her head disapprovingly, and then her voice dropped into a more somber tone, "Even if they aren't causing chaos everyday, my hands are still too full to slow down. We need results, more than ever."

"Everyday, more and more exorcists are being shot down until what's left is a terrifying small number. It doesn't help that many predicted that the Millennium Earl would return or if our calculations were off, he had already returned," She continued, "Those three are our only hope. If this project doesn't work as intended, mankind is doomed."

We peeked over the tablecloth, watching as Twi sighed, slumping over the table looking undignified and tired for the first time, "And then, there are problems."

"Qin," Edgar eyes downcast as mine widened.

Me? Why me? I'm the problem? What's the problem? I could already feel Kanda's stares boring into the back of my head.

"The other two shows progress and signs consistent with the normal. They're both males, regenerative cores on the left, both dark hair, dark eyes, all associated with dominant gene traits. Qin on the other hand, is an anomaly."

I swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous.

"She's female, her regenerative core on the right, her hair is pale and her eyes are blue, both recessive gene traits and if the differences ended there, it wouldn't be a problem. She would still be a perfect candidate to be a apostle."

"You've noticed it as well, haven't you?" She leaned on her elbow, swirling her drink around the cup, "All the scratches, bruises and bandages that seems to last twice as long…And the worst of those from Synchro-testing."

"Her regenerative core may be defective."

My eyes widened, colour draining from my skin as I realised the implications dropping onto me one by one like heavy bricks. I gripped my shirt, suddenly hyperaware of every scratch, bruise and bandage marring my skin, recalling all those times where it stayed on even though Alma and Kanda had taken theirs off. Everything suddenly made sense.

"Or more accurately, it's behaving erratically," She sighed, "Sometimes, it heals fast but a majority of the time, it has taken her twice as long as the others to regenerate. And it's worrisome."

"Why?" Edgar sounded almost afraid to ask. I didn't blame him. I was afraid too.

"Sahlins is getting impatient for results. Defective or not, he's not going to stop to get it."

 _I'm defective…_

Suddenly, I wished that I was alone here, listening to this. I could feel Kanda's heavy gaze on me and it's almost as suffocating as the new piece of information I've just heard. This was just the worst. Whatever they were saying, whatever they were discussing, I had already stopped listening, taking slow steps towards the entrance to escape from the entire situation. He didn't stop me. Good.

Once I hit the hallway, I started running. Making my way down the maze of hallways, I found myself out of breath in front of the large doors of the synchronisation room. Catching my breath, I pressed my palm against the door.

 _If there's something wrong with my regenerative core, if I'm defective, if there was something wrong with me…_ I squeezed my eyes shut, thoughts of a thousand things that could go wrong rushed at me, _does that mean…I'm more likely to die?_

This world suddenly felt scarier. I never admitted it before, but deep down inside, I was glad to have been born a Second Exorcist in this world, especially in this kind of world. Subconsciously or not, I must've felt okay…because of this core. Knowing now that there's something wrong with it, something wrong with me, chipped away at the mask of indifference I built for myself.

I always assumed that because I'm also a Second, that I'm the same as Alma and Yu…but what if I'm really not?

What if, when the time comes, I can't synchronise with an Innocence? What then?

Just that thought, opened up a can of worms that could never be closed.

* * *

It was morning. Even though there was never any sun in here, I could feel life coming back to the halls. Scientists were already on their way, walking by, yawning and some even look dead on their feet but still knew that they had to go. Some gave me a questioning look while other shrugged. I ignored both. I made my way to the Cold Chamber.

Closing the door behind me, I breathed in, and steeled myself.

"Qin, there you are!" Alma grinned, waving me over, "Where you been? I didn't see you all morning!"

"Well," I chuckled dryly, keeping myself in check, "The morning just started so you mustn't have looked long."

I laughed and stopped, rubbing the back of my neck. That wasn't funny at all. A look of worry dropped onto Alma's features. Concern was the last thing I needed. I crave normalcy and this is the closest I could get. Before he could get a word out, I pulled his book from the blanket and stare at it before lifting my eyebrows, "Still reading these?" I waved his romance at him. It was almost ridiculous how I caught him reading cheesy regency novels the first time round. I flipped through the pages, "Too much of this and you might just rot your brain."

"Hmph, it's not my fault that it's just so interesting," He puffed his cheeks defensively.

No, not really. Almost all love stories felt the same to me. Maybe that's because in the real world, romance was everywhere from movies, novels, comic books until it felt like nothing more than something that just exists. Or maybe I'm just not sappy enough to appreciate it.

"I dare you to read this to Yu."

"What? No!" He flushed, snatching the book right back to hide his face, "Besides, he won't understand much anyways! I don't even understand what some of these words meant."

Well, that's true," I plucked the book out of his grasp and started flipping through the pages, "These words are hard to understand sometimes. Especially to Yu and you since the both of you have been in this place your whole life."

"What? You mean you understand them?"

"Hn," I hummed without thinking.

"Wait, how do you even know what all these words meant anyways?"

"…" And how do I even answer that?

His eyes sparkled, a dark mischievous aura wrapped around him as he leaned down towards me deviously, "Don't tell me Qin have been secretly reading all these books behind my back? Admit it, huhu~"

"…" I give him an annoyed look and swat him off, "Of course not!"

Well, I did…in the real world. But like hell am I going to admit that!

"Liar," He giggled himself silly and I rolled my eyes. _Childish,_ but I couldn't help but to smile. It was a small one but it was enough. I joined Alma, settling crosslegged on the blanket and poking at the stuffed bunny he was fond of.

"Qin?"

"Hm?"

"Do you…do you ever wonder what's the outside world like?"

 _No,_ "Maybe."

"I heard that there's a wide blue sky that changes colour according to the time of the day and there's a lot of plants all over! And there's lots of animals too! And there's people called Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter that bring changes to the world! Do you know that a dude calls himself Winter freezes the world? Cool right?"

"Uhh…" That's not really how it works, "Right, cool…"

"But even though that's mean, I heard that he also brings pretty things to the world like snow! Do you know what snow is, Qin? It's like white powdery things that's cold and you can play with it."

"Oh?" What's the problem in humouring him?

"I heard that you can make snowballs with snow and throw them at your friends."

"I sure want to throw one at Yu." He gave me a look, "Well, not you, but Yu…You know what I mean."

"Right," His eyes washed with excitement, "But the most fun thing I heard is that you can build things with it! Like a snowman! Isn't that exciting?"

He sighed, deflating a little, maybe realising that it might be a while before he even gets to see the real thing. But that didn't stop the wistful expression from returning, "I wish I could build a snowman with you guys too."

I paused, "I'm a girl."

"I know."

"Just checking," Clearing my throat, I pulled my knees to my chest, "So where's Yu anyways?"

"Oh, he's behind the pillar, taking a nap."

"What the fuck? When did he get there?"

"Well, he's been there from the beginning?"

You're kidding?

"You're all so noisy," A dark aura surrounded Yu but surprisingly this time round he looked so tired that he didn't even attempt to move. But I'm sure if there were some books near him, he would chuck them at us.

"Oh, you're finally awake! That's great! Now all three of us can…" Alma went on.

Kanda looked squarely at me, eyes unfriendly as usual but now had an odd sense to it. Squaring my chin, I looked away. I wasn't ready to face last night yet. If he even attempt to talk to me about it (not that he will. This was Kanda we're talking about), he can go and screw himself.

* * *

Synchro-testing was ten times worse now that I found out that there's something wrong with my regenerating core. Almost like a placebo turning into a nocebo. And it made me feel more sore and run down than usual. And it didn't help that the whispering in the synchro-testing room had been becoming stronger.

"Give me the usual," I slapped my palm onto the high counter and immediately regretted it.

The chef gave me a look of pity while his assistant burst out laughing. I gave them a deadpan stare. I'm glad that my pain is amusing to you. You're going on my grudge list. His laughter turned nervous under my unwavering stare and he pointed to the kitchen door, "I'm just going to go." The lad disappeared through the before the chef called out to him.

"Darn it, he was supposed to help me make buns today."

"You're making buns today?" I blinked.

"Yeah," He heaved a gigantic shiny bowl, a little white flour poofing due to the jostle, "I guess I'm going to have to do it later."

He set it aside onto the table before giving me my order that I'm not looking forward to. Hello, pile of vitamins and supplements. I took the tray, eyes never leaving the gigantic bowl of flour. Should I? Nah, I shouldn't. But I turned back, the strong urge gripping me. I should. I definitely should. Setting the tray down, I waited until the Chef had his back turned before hoisting the gigantic bowl and ran off as fast as my tiny legs could carry me.

Besides, I haven't done anything fun for a long time and I'm starting to get bored. And _this,_ should liven the place up a little bit.

Grinning wildly to myself, I shuffled down the hallways until I saw Alma chit chatting with Kanda and ran right up to them, unable to keep the excitement from bubbling over.

"Alma, Alma, Alma!" I bounced on my toes ignoring Kanda's super annoyed expression, "Look at what I've got."

"What? What? What?" He blinked curiously.

Sprinkling some on his head, I said in a sing song voice, "Wanna build a snowman?"

"What, really? We can do that? With this?" He scooped a handful.

I back pedalled, "Well no, not really," He almost deflated, "But we can do another thing that is fun and can be done during Mr. Winter reign."

"What! What!"

"Ice skating!"

"Yes!" He pumped his fist, "How we do that?"

"Well," I set the bowl down and sprinkled a bunch on the floor and rubbing my feet on it and slid until I was face to face with Yu, "Like this." From the corner of my eyes, I saw Alma was sparkling with excitement at the prospect of ice skating.

Yu snorted, and turned around sliding back to Alma's slide, "Come on, it be fun."

"No, this is stupid," He turned and started to walk away.

Stupid? This was the most brilliant idea I ever had! And in that moment, I had an even more brilliant I idea. Grabbing fistfuls of flour I hurled the white powder at him, bits slamming into the back of his head, casting his hair white. He froze, tension spreading his back, before turning, murderous aura surrounding him. I grinned, daring him to come over. And I swore he even gave an evil smile.

And then I knew why.

"Oof!" I was hit by a fluff of white, bits of flour sticking to my eyelashes as I gasped and turned to Alma, "Traitor." and he grinned.

The three of us stared at each other and looked at the bowl of flour and back again. In that split second, all of us, leapt for it. My competitive spirit flaring up. There's no way in hell, I would lose to them. Throwing handfuls at Alma, I slid past a loose projectile only to be hit by Kanda's throw.

"Oh no you didn't!" I dived for more flour and the mini flour fight became a full blown chaos as we piled lose powder onto the folds of our clothes as ammunition and skated around and chasing each other down.

"What the hell is going on here?"

I froze, turning to catch sight of Alma skidding and slamming into Kanda (I wanted to laugh) only to take notice of a very, very angry looking Twi Chang in arms akimbo, tapping her feet looking like a goddess of fury. Her glare zeroed down on me, "What happened here?"

I hid my flour filled hands behind my back, "Nothing."

She looked unimpressed, "The entire hallway is coated in flour and the three of you are nothing but white all over and you're telling me that nothing is going on?"

I looked at Kanda and then at Alma before shrugging uncertainly, "..Yes?"

A scientist partially covered in flour appeared looking completely done and handed us each a brush. I lifted my eyebrow and looked at him, "What happened to you?"

He deadpanned, "I passed by the wrong hallway."

Oh...

"Clean this mess up," Twi sternly ordered, "When I come back, I want it spotless!"

And with that she walked away, heels clicking.

Holding the brush, I stared at it and then shrugged, "Well, I think I'm just going to go..hehe. See ya!" Dropping the brush and ignoring Yu's glares and Alma's dumbfounded look I tried to flee. Keyword, tried.

Flying in front of my face was a Golem that looked none too pleased, "I'm watching."

Sheep, there's no choice.

I scrubbed and scrubbed until my arms were sore and only a tiny spot was shiny and there was still a long way to go. Whining, I rubbed my forehead and to my chagrin, flakes of white from my hair and clothes stained the spot that I cleaned. It's like a never ending chore. Deflating, I lied on the floor and curl up into a ball.

I'm never doing this again.

* * *

 **Ah, I love writing this story but sometimes I get too caught up in trying to make it perfect and trying to do DGM some justice because it's about my favourite series in all time. So even though you all seen the final product (chapter by chapter) but in actuality, I've written many drafts with different outcomes (sometimes the characters would just scrap everything I planned and go for a different direction) and plotted many points on where the story could go.**

 **And even though I keep telling myself to just write the damn thing and post it, I still can't help myself but to obsess over the details.**

 **(hands up if you know what I mean)**

 **And I think that I will push myself to finish it up with 'good enough' more often but I also think I might start a new fic that I can blow off some writing stress with no pressure. I was thinking something with BNHA? Of course, DGL will be updated first because I'm excited for the next few arcs because it was the first thing planned out before I started writing this story. I got so many twists and turns that it'll blow your pants off. But then again, I think you can handle it. We're all DGM fans after all ;)**

 **Let me know what you think.**


	12. The Turning Point

**I finally updated! And early this time! Can you hear the excitement in my voice.**

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 **(kalmaegi) Thanks for the ok to work on a new project. It made me feel better and less guilty (haha) I managed to get the BNHA fic up and running and I try not to worry too much and have fun. And yes, your theory is right but it's also because the scientists are aware that there was one with a flaw (cause one of the old geezers messed up) but they didn't expect her to awaken. And lol, imagining them cleaning up with a paint brush is making me laugh more than it should.**

 **(tysedon) Haha I love the three of them together too but there's definitely more things to explore in future chapters. Thank you for reading the update. I love DGM a lot too and I'll try to update more haha. Haha, I understand.**

 **(ADDBaby) Aye, good to see you again. Your comment made me so happy and shy at the same time. Thank you, I really struggle with many parts on this story but hearing that it's going well makes me really, really happy.**

 **(MidnightToDusk) That's an interesting idea. And I have considered it in the past and it's definitely one possibility. But I won't spoil anything for now ?** **ￂﾠ**

 **And thanks to xenocanaan, Adripadher and marrona for your comments :)**

* * *

 **And sorry for the long author notes this chapter. I'll probably trim it down in the future but it's easier for me to reply to comments like this because the app don't receive any of my PMs. *cries***

 **Thanks for all your comments and support from the previous chapter, I hope that you all enjoy this one.**

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I'm the type of person that holds a grudge. Not that I like to admit it to myself but deep down inside, I knew it to be true. If anyone dared to cross me and not expect some form of retribution, they would be sorry. And while Kanda was usually the center of my grudge, today was different.

"Qin, why are you holding an umbrella?" Alma blinked, eyes wide and curious. Ah, poor, poor Alma, he had no idea what was coming.

I grinned and pressed a finger on my lips, "Secret."

And Kanda just had to snort.

"Hey!" Shooting my pointer finger at him, I glowered, "Don't you dare laugh!"

The corner of his lips twitched. Is he challenging me? Sharp pearly whites bared into a smirk, blue eyes twinkled with hidden satisfaction. I balled my fists, irritation prickled under my skin like a bug I can't seem to scratch. I sucked in deep breaths. No, murder is below you-Way, way below you.

But revenge wasn't.

Softening my expression, I returned him a saccharine smile filled with the promise of his impending doom and humiliation. By hook or by crook, he will suffer by my hand. Like I said, I was the kind of person that would hold a grudge. But it wasn't his turn yet.

"Ack!" Alma held tighter onto his newly found friend, "You two look like you're plotting how to kill each other!"

Wasn't that all we ever did since the beginning? Squabble and plot each other's demise? Although after the other night, I could sense that something had change. He had baited me on less and and less and even his insults lack their usual bite. If this was his way of pitying me, I don't like it.

"Not now," I hummed, "Maybe another time."

And he wouldn't even see it coming.

"More importantly," The umbrella bloomed above the three of us like a flower awakening from a long winter, "It's important to stay dry."

"What do you-" Alma was cut off by screams of panic.

Coffee poured down like unrelenting, staining all scientists and unguarded paperwork. Heavy drops knocked against the surface of the umbrella before trickling down in strings. The duo stared at the impending chaos with eyes wider than saucers. Stretching my neck, I took in a deep breath.

Ah, I love the smell of coffee and chaos.

"Okay! Who rigged the coffee machine to the sprinklers? Rikki, was it you?"

"When I get my hands on you, Rikki, I'm going to end you!" Renee declared grabbing her pile of paperwork and running from shelter, her hair no longer bright blonde and her lab coat now a soggy brown.

Humming, I huddled closer to the two of them under the little umbrella, where it's dry and safe. Kanda shot me a look as if he was suspecting me. I exuded the aura of an angel as to not get caught (Though, I honestly think it did not work.). Alma screws his jaw shut, eyes full of disbelief directed at me. Reaching the apex of the melody, I lifted my brow at him in question.

"What?" I fake innocence.

"Qin, you're scary," Alma blurted out.

Ah, he noticed. I pursed my lips for a moment before splitting into a wicked smile, "Better to be feared than to fear."

* * *

Even though I had said those words, the truth of the matter was…I was afraid.

The fear creeped at the back of my mind, invading every moment of peace I had. And no amount of comfort or thoughts would make it go away. And when I'm like this, I know that I couldn't sleep. Pressing my feet one after another quietly on the floor, I transverse the dark hallways, retracing my steps and finding my way back to that room that I found the last time I was lost.

Somehow, I couldn't get it out of my mind.

There was just something about it that was ominous and if I didn't even attempt to find out why, a gut feeling deep in my stomach told me that I would regret it. And even if I found out, something tells me that I'm not going to like the answer.

But I wanted, no, needed to know.

And just as my resolve solidified in my mind, the hallway opened up to a dark dingy corner and tapes surrounding the door, preserved and untouched just like the last time I saw it. My eyes flickered left and right, making sure that there was no one around and no golems about. Somehow, everything was eerily quiet this time save for my soft breaths.

This was it.

I took a deep breath and let it out, steeling my nerves and I walk forward, heart pounding like crazy against my ears despite all my efforts to stay calm. I stepped carefully between the tapes and made my way past the crooked stained door that looked like a monster pried it open with claws. I gulped. I sure hope that there's no monster hiding in the darkness and I was starting to wish that I had brought a candle.

But the dim light from the hallway was all I could rely on. It was better than complete utter darkness.

"Eep!" Something moved, my heart thundered and it took a second to realise that it was just my shadow.

Stay calm, Qin. There's no such thing as monsters…well, unless you count Akumas.

Pressing a fist against my ribcage, I scanned the room taking in the overturned beds and shredded pillows and mattresses. The room held an air of familiarity and I could swear that it looked and feel almost identical to the one that Alma, Kanda and I was living in. _One…Two…Three…Four…_ I counted the wrecked bed frames, a dark weight settling on my mind. My hunch was right, this room must've belong to the other four Second Exorcists. So, Alma and Kanda wasn't the first to awaken.

Kneeling down, I touched a rather sorry doll, with eyes falling out and a rather large gash running across it's body, my thoughts tangling. _It made sense_. The amount of empty pods in the Cold Chamber and the way the scientists regarded us sometimes (especially those who were older like Sahlins, which was only a couple. I don't remember seeing many aged scientists, many of them were quite young like Edgar and Twi). It made sense that we weren't the first.

 _What happened to them though?_ From the state of the room, I would say nothing good. I gulped, saliva thick in my throat as I spotted splatters of red under the dim light. Even if it wasn't clear, I had an inkling what had happened. I should probably head back. But I couldn't bear to.

There was still something to this room that was calling out to me. I poked at bits and pieces of debris, running my fingers over dusty surfaces of broken furniture and inspected everything like an untold story in the air slowly weaving together. And it wasn't a pretty picture.

And that's when I saw it, a gap in the bricked wall, completely inconspicuous and easy to miss. I approached it, debating on whether sticking my finger into that gap was a good idea or a stupid one. _Oh what the heck…_ I stuck it in and immediately felt something light, ticking my fingers and it felt like papers? Pressing a palm against the wall, I went deeper, trapping the paper between my fingers and pulling it out, a puff of dust and smoke attacked my face. I coughed, cursing quietly as I waved the musty air away.

I stared at the stack of papers in my hand, they looked old, pages yellowing and ready to fall apart. Carefully, I unfolded it revealing the wonky handwriting and scribbles of a child. I didn't feel at ease but somehow, I was drawn to read it like a curious cat that had no idea what terrible things awaited it.

 _ **Record Diary One**_

 _I finally learned how to write. Doctor Sahlins is impressed at how fast I've learned compared to the others._

 _He praised me and I feel happy._

 _The others couldn't stop fighting over the smallest things. I wish that the four of us could get along but somehow things always get in the way. I get to eat pudding with Three though, so I'm happy._

 _ **Record Diary Two**_

 _Pain._

 _It's so painful. I don't understand why they would want to hurt us like this. They say it was for the good of the world, to destroy the Akumas and to fulfil our destinies of future apostles but do they have to hurt us. The bandages covered the burns and the scars but I could still feel them even though they vanished._

 _Two was crying because of the pain._

 _ **Record Diary Three**_

 _One was always mean. Just because he was the oldest, it doesn't mean he has to be so mean._

 _And no matter what the doctors yelled at him, he never changes._

 _I don't like the way he treats Two and Three but I can't get mad at him either. He's the same as us. I saw him wake up from those scary dreams. He tries not to scream but I know when he's awake during the night._

And it went on for many pages. It almost felt like a record or a diary of a Second Exorcist that woke up before Kanda and Alma. One, Two, Three and Four? They had numbers instead of names? And how long ago was this? The questions just grew and grew as I flipped through entry after entry until the drawings started to get more and more distorted and the writing sharp as if Four had pressed the nib down as hard as he could.

 _ **Record Diary Twenty-One**_

 _I had a nightmare._

 _There was a monster. I'm scared of the monster. I didn't want to sleep. I feel tired. I didn't have the strength to deal with One's nonsense. And I yelled at Three. He looked so hurt. I feel so guilty._

 _If only I could dream of nothing._

And it seems to get worse. My stomach sank as I read further on. It was like the usual days that we experienced but framed in the eyes of a child, it felt dark and somehow wrong. I bit my lip, stomach knotting as I reached the last page, the childish scribbles abruptly evolved into elegant scripts, a jarring contrast from the previous page.

 **RECORD DIARY - THE FINAL ONE**

 _I remember now. My name is not Four._

 _I am not a child. I was an exorcist. They did this to me. They did this to us. After all we've done for them. After all we've sacrificed for them. Our lives, our loved ones, our blood. Knowing all that we've given up, they still brought us back._

 _One, Two, Three…No, Firo, Asher and Tsukiko..._

 _I won't let them suffer anymore. It's time to for things to return to as they should be._

It ended there, and a chilling shiver slithered my spine and I felt cold. I knew what it meant. I felt sick. And everywhere I looked, I could only see traces of the four of them. From the books that laid on the ground, to the broken dolls and the splatters on the wall. The room suddenly felt smaller, like it was closing in on me and my mind flashing with scenarios of what had happened…and what will happen.

I need to get out of here.

With clumsy hands, I struggled to fold the paper, smashing them back into it's hole, getting it out of my sight. _No one should see this_. I pressed it deeper, my heart racing to my throat as my thoughts spun out of control.

I backed away from the wall, clumsily stumbling out of the room. My guts twisted and I felt like throwing up. Regretting all my decisions that led me here. I should've stayed in my room. I should've just minded my own business and not look for trouble.

But it was too late now.

All my fears bubbled to the surface. Every horrible thought that had crossed my mind, flooded me. And I ran. I didn't know where I was going but I knew that I didn't want to go back to the room, I didn't want to face them. Least of all them.

I didn't know how far I ran or how long but I suddenly heard a gush of water and I stopped, out of breath and mind thinking unclearly. My eyes spotted the water flowing in one direction. _A water canal?_ My feet moved before I could even think. I didn't know what I was doing, I just ran following the direction of the water. The world around me passed by almost like a blur, one minute I was running down the hallways and the next, I was climbing down old rusted ladders and before I knew it, I was standing on the ledge water gushing down like a waterfall below me.

This was it. This was the way out.

I didn't think. I didn't care. Closing my eyes, I took a step forward.

"Qin!" A hand clamped down on my wrist pulling me back.

"Let go! Let me go!" Digging my nails into my arm, I struggled to pry his fingers off. I'm so close. So close to getting out.

"What are you doing?" Alma's face twisted in confusion.

"Leaving!"

"You can't!"

"Why not!"

"This world needs-" He started to preached what he had always preached and he had said it so many times that I bet that he doesn't know the meaning of those words only how to parrot them. Just like how Sahlins wanted. Just like how the Black Order wanted.

"Shut up!" I snapped, voice breaking, "To hell with this world! To hell with the Humans, the Akumas, the Exorcists and the Millennium Earl! To hell with it all!"

The world blurred as my eyes brimmed with burning tears. I let them fall, the first few drops staining the dusty red bricks. It was like a dam shattering, pouring out all the frustration, fear and pain bottling up inside me. I didn't want to do this anymore. I didn't want to do _any_ of this anymore. Quiet sobs ripped through my lips, chest constricting painfully. I pressed my hand against my face, muffling the sound and fighting to pull myself back together.

It was too late, the flimsy thread of control had snapped.

I dropped to my knees, feeling extremely exhausted, "I just…" _I want to go home. I want to go back to my world, where everything is safe,_ "I can't take much more of this anymore."

Pressing my palm against my eyes, a pathetic attempt to block out this reality.

What I would give to be back home…To go back in time and stop myself from doing that stupid dare. To let me return back to that mundane life of mine and let me continue complaining about the days that seems to come after another and to sit down and do nothing but watch program after program, to walk through the door of my silly apartment and see the face of my aging grandpa and the smile of my younger sister…letting me hold them in my eyes, tightly and never letting them go.

But it's impossible isn't it?

We stayed there in silence. For how long, I don't know. But it felt like almost an eternity.

"…Let's leave…together."

"What?" I looked up, gazing at his blurry figure, blinking away my tears.

He knelt down, meeting my eye level, "You, me and Yu, let's leave...together."

I blink, wiping away stray tears. Is he serious? The tears parted way for a moment to catch a glimpse of his expression- a sincere bright unflinching smile. I gaped for a moment before breaking down into an ugly crying fit. Gently, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. Clutching at his arms, I buried myself in the crook of his neck.

"Silly, Qin," His chest vibrate with laughter, "Why are you still crying?"

"I don't know. I don't know." Blubbering, I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my arms around his neck and he held me tighter.

I didn't know how long I was crying for, but as time ticked by, my sobs turned into sniffles and my burning tears turned into dry streaks. All my emotions balled up faded into numbness. I slumped against Alma, completely drained. His fingers soothingly ran through the strands of my hair. Counting his breathes, in and out, I slowly matched and synchronised.

"Better?" There was a hint of tiredness in his voice and I nodded, "That's good."

"We-" I coughed, voice cracking from crying, "We should get back…"

Alma hummed in agreement. Using what little strength I had left, I peeled myself from Alma, shivering at the loss of warmth and pushed against the ground to my feet. My brain felt feathery light but my body felt like a tons of bricks. Wobbling, I nearly loss my footing but he caught me. I stayed still for a few seconds before taking a step forward. My body protest, heavy, tired, didn't want to move. Something warm touched the tips of my fingers. Without thinking, I grasped his hand, threading our fingers together and let him lead the way, away from the edge and retracing our steps back into the dark dingy hallways of the laboratory.

The silence between us was more comforting than any words that he could say.

In the dead of the night, we transverse the corridors of our underground cage we call home, breaking ghost silence with our tiny footsteps. It wasn't long before we were standing in front of our room. And even in the darkness, I could feel his eyes on me. There was something unsaid that hung in the air but I was too spent to even begin to care.

Pressing my palms onto the cold metal door, I pushed it open only to be met by the silhouette of a boy sitting on his bed, heaving, breaths uneven. Yu's awake. He must've woken up from another nightmare. I should care. Should be at least concern. But couldn't feel anything but tiredness and numbness. At the back of my mind there was a lingering guilt but it felt almost far away, muffled.

Pressing forward, I took step by step, feet leading straight to my bed. It took an eternity to get there but finally, I flopped onto bed, springs groaned under my weight. My head collided into the pillow, cool surface felt nice against my warm face.

Just for tonight, let me dream of nothing.

"Yu, we need to talk."

.

.

.

 **OMAKE**

"Yu, we need to talk," He had such a serious expression on his face that Kanda couldn't help but to feel nervous. _What did he want to talk about?_

"Yu," Alma took a deep breath, "Let's get married."

"What?"

Alma bounced on to his bed, crazily gesturing his hands all about as he babbled on, "Let's run away from here and get a nice house with lots of rooms and oh, get some chickens so we can make loads of mayonnaise!" He sucked in one deep breath and another sludge wave of words came, "Then Qin can be our daughter and we can adopt a cat and even a dog! And then, we can live happily ever after!"

There was silence, as Kanda stared at his completely crazy friend, completely stunned before bursting, "You're insane!"

"No, no, no! That's where you're wrong!" Alma countered, "It's a great plan! Don't you think so, Qin?"

"Yes, Mummy."

"See, even our daughter agrees!"

"Hey you!" Kanda growled, his face growing redder despite his efforts, "Don't you play along with his crazy ideas!"

Was it only him or was everybody losing their mind today? He watched as his crazy lemon-obsessed friend dropped her smirk and pulled her most annoying childlike expression and figuratively threw a few sparkles in the air, "Why not, Pops? Would you rather be our dog?"

That's it! "I'll kill you!"

"Ahh, nooo…." Alma dragged Kanda back before he could leap. As the couple had their lover's spat, Qin couldn't help to wonder, which one of them would top.

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 **And that's that for chapter 12.**

 **The final scene before the omake was one of the first few scenes I had written before I begun this story. At that time, I had no idea what would make her do that but now, her reasons are unfolding. The scene kind represents a turning point for the three of them.**

 **And for the Omake, I discussed it with one of my readers a very long time ago haha, I'm not even sure if they recall it since it's been almost a year or so. And I didn't really want to leave the chapter completely feeling grim and you as the readers feeling blue because of it. Also it's because it'll be a while before I post the next as I'm diligently prepping for finals.**

 **I couldn't help to laugh every time I read over the omake because I now headcanon that Alma plays Stardew Valley and suddenly wanted a farmer's lifestyle with Kanda and his husbando and Qin as their daughter. And of course a mayonnaise machine and a never ending supply of eggs to make mayo.**

 **TBH, my happy place for DGM is to headcanon all the characters in stardew valley and think about how they would interact and how happy and joyful everything is. Allen would definitely without a doubt sneak into everyone's homes and eat all their food and steal their cookies. Lenalee would've the most normal and aesthetic farm until Komui steps in with farmer robots and destroy half of it. Lavi and Bookman would plant their favourite foods but I think they would also plant the most strangest species of plants ever! (To observe they say) And the Noahs, would probably have a large land with enormous pumpkin patches!**

 **In fact, I drew a few scenes of DGM characters enjoying stardew valley before haha.**

 **Question of the day: What crazy shenanigans would the DGM characters would be up to in Stardew Valley world? (Or even if they just sit around playing the game, that counts too.)**

 **See you in the next chapter~**


	13. The Threads That Binds Us

**Hey, I finally finished my exam a week ago and I'm now on break. Yay! Although now that means spring cleaning at home even if its not spring. But at least now I have time to write (hopefully) and focus on my projects.**

 ***wipes sweat* This chapter is long in all aspects. It took a long time to write, I somehow keep swapping out scenes because it didn't fit or didn't flow the way I want it too. And it's probably my longest chapter…at least for now. And it probably didn't help that I do my best writing from 12 am to 4 am in the morning XD**

 **Anyways I hope you enjoy.**

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 **(Cheshire Mayhem) I guess we just have to find out ;)**

 **(ADDBaby) You might have to brace yourself soon, but I believe you can get through it. I believe in you. Yes, thank you for sending it in, I love it.**

 **(Guest) I'm glad you love it. I always try my best when writing funny pieces and sometimes I'm not too sure if it turns out well but I'm glad you like it. Alma from the beginning (in his original form) has always been adorable. Go ahead *pushes Alma forward* Give him a big hug, boy needs some love. I'm glad that you find Qin relatable. Thank you, I will. I hope you have a good day.**

 **(Sakuraddiction) I'm excited too. I mean I do have pity for Qin, Alma and Kanda for having to go through all these but I have a lot planned for the future. It would definitely be interesting to see how her existence she will change everything whether or not she survives.**

 **Thanks to xenocanaan, Savage Kill, lizyeh2000 and pandora59 for your comments :)**

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 **13th Night**

 **The Threads That Binds Us**

* * *

When my eyes opened, my cheeks were wet. I didn't know why at first as the haziness of sleep hang heavily on my mind and it took the thin veil of tears to part and the sight of the white ceiling of our room in Laboratory 6 to dreadfully draw a line between my reality and the fragments of the dream that I could still remember but was slowly fading out of reach.

Pressing the butt of my palms against my eyes, I breathed, feeling each breath expelling heavily from my chest.

I dreamt of being home last night. Being surrounded by my mess of books and pens, walking down the short hallway of our apartment, taking in the scent of sizzling eggs and coffee and the faint sounds of oldies, humming and soft laughter as they messed up and tried to catch up to the fleeting rhythm. It all felt too real. From the joy on my younger sister's face as I picked her up and spun her around, to the jubilant conversation bouncing between me and my Gramps, the person that had single-handedly raised us and even _him_ was there, sitting at his corner of the table, smiling for once.

The hours of the night felt like eternity in my dream as time passes almost believably. And that only made my longing to go back worse.

But like any dream, when you wake up, it unraveled itself, leaving nothing but broad strokes of memory and a fleeting sensation that fades faster than you can grasp at it.

Not even seconds after I had woken, I could barely recall what happened in my dream. I was at loss at what to feel, stuck between a whirlpool of feelings and nothing at all. I almost wished I hadn't had that dream.

Sighing, I ran a hand over my face, trying to rub the sleep away from my eyes. I felt awful. My eyes were swollen, my nose stuffed and my throat felt like I had been forced to swallow bottle after bottle of peppercorns.

Why do I feel so terrible?

And then last nights events hit me. The memory almost makes me want to sink into the mess of pillows and blankets and fade into non-existance. Groaning, I turned over, pressing my face into the pillows.

"Morning sleepyhead."

I jumped at the sound, hissing as I accidentally pressed against my nose the wrong way. Burrito rolling to the side, I lifted my head, spotting Alma as he sat in the corner, back against the wall. At this point, I didn't even need or want to ask him what's he doing there. This was his room too, he can sit in the corner if he damn hell wants.

"Morning," I muttered half-heartedly, slightly muffled by the pillow.

For some reason, I didn't want to meet his eyes. After last night, I felt uncomfortable and awkward having revealed more than I intended. The outbursts…my rash words…his words, it became a mess that I'm not even sure that I'm ready to deal with.

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"Since last night I think," With a flickered gaze, I spotted dark circles under his eyes, "I couldn't sleep. And I couldn't exactly leave you alone…" _after yesterday. After I nearly ran away..._ Even though he didn't outright said it, I caught the gist of it.

"Sorry…" It slipped from my lips, so soft that I barely even heard myself.

"Why are you apologising? You don't need to be sorry."

I fell silent, hugging the pillow tighter.

"More importantly, how do you feel? Better?"

Nodding slowly, I felt unsure. Everything felt like a mess.

"Good. You really worried me, yesterday," Alma let out a breath, "Also, I talked with Yu last night."

"Oh…" Feeling extra nervous, I pulled the pillow closer, sinking my fingers deeper into it to relieve the tension and dread that slowly built up, "…How much did you tell him?"

"Not much. Just enough."

"How did it go?" I felt hesitant to ask.

He stayed quite for much longer and it's making me nervous, "…Not sure. He wants to leave, but…"

Alma trailed off. _But what?_ If he wants to leave, everything was hunky dory right? What other problems could there be a _but_ for? I peeked at Alma as he shook his head.

"Nothing. It's probably nothing. I'm going to talk to him again soon," He then turned to me, "Can you wait, just a bit longer?"

I stayed silent for a moment before nodding. What else can I really say at that time?

After our talk, life started gaining back an ounce of normalcy. I don't know how I manage to do it but I pretended as if none of it happened even though there was a heaviness in my chest that was almost suffocating. I grinned and bear it even though at times, I feel it shuttering through threatening to crack the facade. And each time it comes close, I took a deep breath, reminding myself that this was all just temporary. It wouldn't be long before we're out of this place.

Days after days passed, and nothing happened. I'm starting to lose hope.

To make it much worse, the distance between me and Alma felt more and more obvious. Even though we were always near each other, we never seem to have a moment alone to talk together. It feels like he had been avoiding me and it feels uncomfortable.

The air started growing colder, and my worries grew with it.

I couldn't let it go on any longer. If he doesn't want to talk to me, I would've to make him. With my mind made up, I waited for the right opportunity to flag him down. There's only so many moment he would be on his own and it didn't take me long to find an opening and cornered him in the Cold Containment Chamber. He stared at me, wide eyed like a deer caught in headlights as I entered the room, closing the door behind me and sealing his only way out.

He looked at everything except me. And I felt almost tempted to throw anything I could get my hands on at him. Only, there was nothing at hand that I could reach. Words will have to do.

But how would I even start?

I licked my lips, playing for time, "We're not going to leave, are we?"

His reaction said everything. He bit his lip, eyes shifting to the side, refusing to meet mine, filled with conflict. _What was eating at him? Did he changed his mind? Why isn't he talking to me about this?_ So many thoughts raced through my mind that it was almost dizzying. And the fact that he wasn't answering me was driving me insane. I feel hurt, cast aside and it's not pleasant.

I drummed my fingers against the door, hoping the rhythmic sounds would ease my uneasiness, "Did you…even talk to Yu?"

Even now, he stayed silent.

My grip tightened into a fist, shaking as nails digging in my palm. I shouldn't get so mad. I didn't like being mad. But the emotion sizzles.

"Out with it, Alma!" His neck cracked loudly as he snapped his head towards me, "Don't just stand there, keeping your mouth shut and pretend that everything is okay and that everything is normal! Did you, or did you not talk to Yu about it?"

"I…I did!" He took a step back, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And then? What did he really say?" I pressed with growing impatience, "Why aren't you answering me?"

"Argh!" Alma's face scrunched with frustration as he threw his hands up in the air and violently ran them through his hair, "I'm telling you the truth. He wants to leave too!"

Bitterness seeped through, as I pushed forward, voice growing louder with every world till frustration hits the peaking point, "Then what's the problem? Why have you been avoiding me? Why not talk to me?"

"Because I don't want to leave!" Storming up to me, eyes flashing with anger that was for the first time, directed at me, instantly causing the words building up in my throat to vanished.

I stared at him, stunned and speechless.

Blue eyes widened with disbelief as he had just realised what he had just admitted, his hands reaching up to cover his face and turned his back to me. My back pressed against the door, the cool surface did little to comfort me. Pressing the back of my wrist against my lips, I did a single shuddering breath, feeling tears starting to prickle my eyes. I wasn't going to cry. I hated crying. I hate everything about this situation. And the person that was the one comforting me and assuring me that everything would be alright now has his back turned towards me.

This was ridiculous. I'm stronger than this. _Act like it._

Straightening my back, I swiped away the tears, crossing my arms in front of me and steeled myself. I could feel myself shaking, but I didn't care. I wanted to say something. Anything. But as I licked my lips, I found that I couldn't. What can I even say now, that would make everything all better? _I'm sorry? I don't want to leave after all?_ It tasted like lies that I can never make myself say.

I'm mad at him.

"Why?" His shoulders stiffened and I shook my head, "No, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm sorry I ever bothered you."

"Wait, Qin-"

Before he could stop me, I was already out of the door. I didn't want him to catch up to me. I didn't want to talk to him, period.

I was a fool from the start. The only person I can count on was myself.

Gritting my teeth, I stormed down the hallways, knowing exactly where I wanted to go. I pushed myself to go faster even as my chest grew tighter, whether from getting out or breath or barely controlling my emotions, I don't know. But I knew that I wanted to get the hell out of here as fast as possible. I stormed passed the abandoned Second's room and down into the path where the familiar gushing of waters met my ears.

Climbing down the rungs, I mutter complaints under my breath, soft enough for only me to hear and loud enough to blow some steam.

"Stupid Alma and his secrety secrets," I hissed as my feet dropped to the ground, kicking up dust.

My flimsy shoes grated against the floor but I didn't care, making my way up to the ledge, and looked down. This was it. I was finally going to leave. And no one was going to stop me. I took a step forward and then stopped mid step. _What? Just go and escape, you coward. This is my only chance._ I pushed myself to take another step but resistance was futile. I stared down at the depths of the water leading down to the canal once more and screwed my eyes shut, a deep realisation sunk in. _I just couldn't do it._

"Damn it!" I turned, running my hands through my hair in frustration "I want to leave. I have the chance to leave so why do I suddenly want to stay? Why is this so confusing?"

He got to me. I should've kept them all in arms length. If I had kept my distance, leaving would've been absolutely easy. But now…It didn't feel right. I took one last look and reluctantly turned away. Disappointment, that was the entire tone of this whole day. Disappointed at Alma. Disappointed at myself.

I sighed to myself as I lifted myself up the rungs of the rusty old ladder, and crawl back into the hallways, each step felt heavy, reluctant and steep with conflict. I did not look forward to seeing Alma again, at least not now and drag out the seconds as much as I could. It was when I was passing the room with yellow tape that I heard a small noise. _Is someone in there?_

Peeking in, my eyes widened. There standing there with is back turned was Kanda Yu, hands reaching into the crack in the wall, pulling out a familiar yellowing parchment and my heart stopped.

"No!" I launched forward.

* * *

"Wait, Qin-" Yu watched as Alma called as the girl stormed away from the Cold Containment Chamber, reaching his hand out to grab her and missing only to stumble, "Shit!"

Yu's eyebrow rose. This was the first time he had seen Alma cursed. Even before when they weren't exactly friends, the boy would always avoid cursing, opting for softer sounding words. Alma muttered quietly to himself, face scrunched up with frustration and what seem to be regret, and then their eyes met.

"Oh, it's just you," Before doubling back and waved with a sheepish smile, "I mean, hey, Yu."

 _I should be annoyed at that. I should be mad that that…_ Somehow, he couldn't get himself to be mad at that. But still, Yu glared. It was after all, his natural resting face. Knowing that he was spotted, Yu didn't see the need to back track and get out of there. Instead, he walked up to Alma who leaned heavily against the door and blue meets blue.

"I screwed up," The boy facepalmed, "I can't believe I screamed at her."

Yu's eyebrows shot up to the roof. This was news for him. It almost didn't seem possible and yet the impossible had happened. The two of them fought. Normally those two (as annoying as they were) got along so swimmingly that even now Yu couldn't believe his years. He couldn't pictured it. But it must've gotten pretty bad for Alma to resort to yelling.

"What did she do this time?"

"This time?" Alma gave him the look (one Yu have to say looks almost like disapproval) before sighing, banging his head against the door, "No, it's not what she did. It was me."

"Argh, I'm such an idiot, Yu!" He head-butted the door.

Yu was almost tempted to ask what had happened. _Almost._ But to be honest, he didn't care too much about it to really asked. But mostly it felt almost nosy to ask and there was nothing more than Yu hate than people that stick their noses in matters that they don't belong in.

"…Yu?"

"Hn?"

"D-Do you remember what we talk about the other night?

Yu closed his eyes. How could he forget? It was something that he was constantly thinking about since it happened and even when he wasn't thinking about it, it was there stewing at the back of his mind. Even now, he could remember that night…

* * *

" _Yu, we need to talk."_

 _Alma's expression was serious, one that Yu had never seen before. Carefree and happy, sure. Crying and pouty, it showed itself on occasions. Even brooding and deep in thought, he had seen that too…but never an expression that looks as grave as this. He couldn't help himself, eyes shifting towards the girl lying facedown in a mess of blankets and pillows, dead asleep. Even though there's no proof, he had the sneaking suspicion that she had something to do with it._

 _Troublesome, he narrowed his eyes and huffed. That was the very definition of her from the moment he had met her till now. And nothing she had done from that point to change his opinion. What did she get herself into this time?_

 _The bed sunk in a familiar manner that he didn't need to turn his head to know that it was Alma. Their proximity was close, like the many nights before that they had simply sat together, awake and talking the night away. But even as the warmth felt the same, he could sense that something was different. Gone was the casual sense of carefree like there always was. And Yu ventured a gaze over, catching the conflict that played in Alma's eyes, and the tension his back, stiff and taut with tension like a singing string, ready to cut._

 _It felt almost unbearable._

 _And Alma opened his mouth, ready to slice through the tension but in a brief second of hesitation, he changed his mind, closing it again and shaking his head._

 _Yu closed his eyes. Tonight's conversation wouldn't be a pleasant one._

" _Out with it," Yu growled, the edge in his voice snapping Alma back to reality and a sheepish expression sunk in, not quite washing away the seriousness in his eyes._

" _Sorry," Alma rubbed the back of his neck in that usual maddening way of his, beating around the dead bush and never getting to the point, "I kind of forgot that you hate any wishy washiness."_

 _Yu felt annoyed, unable to tell if he had just forgotten or merely testing his patience. But an apology wasn't what he wants. He wanted this conversation to be done and over with and that unfitting expression wiped off his face. It just didn't suit him. A smile or even laughter, that suits him best._

" _It's just…" Alma looked down, playing the tips of his fingers, pressing them together and forming shapes, "…I don't even know how to start."_

 _Yu lifted and eyebrow. Now that's a surprise. Normally the boy would launch into one conversation to another, drawing circles and talking in circles, leaving cryptic clues that Yu had to round up before ever getting to the point (Just imagine how much time he could've been sleeping instead of listening to his incessant chatter…not that he wanted to go back to sleep anyways with the nightmare and all) but to not even know where to begin, this was a first._

" _Start from the beginning," Yu supplied, surprised at himself._

"… _Where even is the beginning," Alma take a deep breath and launched into a babble, "Well, it all started when I awakened and then you awaken and Qin awakened and the two of you are fighting a lot and then we became best buds. How that happen, I don't know. But I'm really glad it did. But I do wish you and Qin would get along better instead of trying to kill each other all the time. And it's sad that I'm the only one that likes mayonnaise. You and Qin seems to hate it with passion. Don't you know mayonnaise is the best in the-"_

 _Yu whacked him over the head with a pillow, "I said the beginning, not the beginning!"_

" _How am I supposed to know that?"_

" _Moron."_

" _That's mean, Yu."_

" _Get to the point already!"_

" _I'm trying!"_

" _Try harder!"_

" _SHUT UP!" Their eyes popped open like round saucers as something nearly hit them, missing it's mark and clattering across the floor, the lemon brat opened her eyes glaring at them, eyes red and tired, "You two sound worse than two horny teenagers trying to get it on together! Either do the do quietly or stay virgins, you fools! You know what's sexy? Letting Qin get her sleep!"_

 _And she buried herself under the blanket and pillows, muttering curses and complains under her breath before dozing off to snooze. The two of them sat quietly in the dark, staring at the pile, unsure of what to say."_

" _What is she saying, Yu?"_

" _Fuck if I know."_

 _They sat in silence. Yu's eyes closed, listening closing to every rustle of fabric and breathes in the room, and waited. If Alma had something to say to him, he would wait till he was ready to voice it._

" _Yu," Alma started, cutting the silence gently._

" _Hm?"_

" _Do you ever wonder what the outside world is like?"_

" _Hn," He hummed in affirmation. What an odd question._

" _Do you think…we will get to see the blue sky some day?"_

 _Yu stayed silent. How the hell was he supposed to answer that? Deep down, deep, deep, down, a longing grew but he squashed it. He didn't dare let himself hope. It was hard to hope in this dark and suffocating space. Wasn't it good enough that he had a ray of light to get him through the days? His eyes flickered towards Alma. If he became greedy, would he be punished?_

" _I always dreamed how the blue sky will look like. Is it really as big and high as Rikki and the others say? Almost like a world by itself…A world with fluffy white clouds and birds," Yu watched as Alma gazed upwards, eyes clouding as if he was seeing the sky itself, "You know, I heard that the sky gets sad too. That when it's sad, everything turns grey and tears falls to the ground. I wonder if the sky would cry for us?"_

 _Alma continued and Yu listened, "Yu, do you ever think of leaving?"_

 _The question dropped like a ton of bricks in Yu's stomach. His lips clamped shut, biting down on the words that threaten to break free. It wasn't an answer that Alma would want to hear. And from the time he had spent in this place, he knew that sometimes, somethings should never be said._

 _But one look at Alma's face, and Yu changed his mind and whispered, "Everyday."_

" _Oh," Alma's voice crestfallen as he slump forward._

 _Yu wondered if he had made the right choice. Maybe staying silent was the better answer. But no matter how much he wondered, it was too late now, words uttered could never be taken back._

" _Then…one of these days," Alma breathed in, "Let's leave, together, all three of us."_

 _Yu froze. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did he even heard that right? Let's leave? Leave this suffocating place, was that even possible? Or was this some kind of sick twisted dream that he would wake up and feel empty all over again._

" _Why would you say that?" Yu, screwed his eyes shut, hands reaching down pinching the base of his wrist, trying to determine if this was dream or reality._

"… _You don't want to leave?"_

" _No," Yu breathed, "I do."_

 _It hurts, that's good. That means I'm awake, right? He wasn't sure. But if he wasn't, he wants to wake up, now. Before he starts to hope again. Hoping for something that would never come true was torture._

 _Please let this not be a dream. Please let it be a dream._

 _He was conflicted._

" _Then, let's leave."_

 _It was everything Yu wanted to hear so why was it that when he finally heard it, he wanted to reject it with every fibre of his being? It was unfathomable. Illogical. And the whole room felt smaller all of a sudden. Was it him or the walls felt like it was closing in on him? It was stuffy and he felt like he couldn't breathe._

" _Yu?" Warm fingers touched his hand._

 _Yu opened his eyes and everything snapped to place. He looked down at their hands and everything still felt surreal. And he didn't like it. Scowling, he pulled his hand back, slow and deliberate, wanting space at the same time, not wanting to part. Alma retracted, looking disappointed but there was a trace of understanding that Yu couldn't comprehend._

" _I need a walk," And that says it all. His feet touched the ground and he headed to the doorway, each step heavy as he desperately wanted to clear the fog in his head. He barely made it to the door before Alma called out to him._

" _If we leave, we can never turn back. Are you sure that that's what you want? I can't read your mind…Talk to me, Yu."_

' _I want that more than anything', he wanted to say but he was never the type to let himself hope._

* * *

"Do you still want to leave?" Yu watched as Alma's eyes darted about.

He had already chose to be honest, "Yes."

"I thought so," Alma chuckled to himself before sobering up, looking much grim than before, "…I thought I want that too. But, I don't know anymore."

Yu clenched his fist, keeping it hidden behind his back as disappointment slowly gripped his heart. He knew that somehow, this would happened. It was the reason why he didn't even dare to hope. Yu kept a straight face as Alma shook his head, disappointment (at whom? at himself?) and confusion clear in his face.

"The thought of leaving here…with the two of you made me feel very, very happy. I couldn't wait to see the sun, the sky and to eat steam flower buns with lots and lots of mayonnaise. I was so sure that's what I wanted," Alma turned his back to him, pressing his head onto his arm propped against the door, "But when I went to the Cold Chamber and saw all of them, still asleep…I don't think I could do it."

Pink invaded his vision at the corner of his eyes and Yu blinked, hoping that it would go away but it only got brighter. Discretely, he looked to the side, spotting fully bloomed lotuses sprouting on the floor. He screwed his eyes shut, willing it to disappear.

"…I can't leave them, Yu." He tried to focus solely on Alma's words, "But when I thought about how lonely I felt when I awakened…and how they would feel when they finally wake up. I just…couldn't do it."

"I should've told Qin the truth instead of avoiding her, but I don't like seeing her disappointed. Especially if she was disappointed at me," Alma snorted derisively, "And I yelled at her instead. Good going there, Alma."

Yu peeked through his lids. The flowers were still there. And now there was more of them. He breathes out.

"I hope that you're not mad at me, Yu."

He doesn't know what to feel at this point. So he opted to stay silent. It wasn't like he hadn't had enough problems already.

"I should go apologise," Alma said it in a tone of a revelation, spinning on his heels and grabbed Yu by his shoulders, "Oh God, I need to apologise to Qin. And maybe tell her why. Wait, where did she go? Did she went this way or that way? Oh my mayonnaise, I can't recall! I must've bumped my head too hard. Help me, Yu! Help me look for her!"

It was impossible to say no to that, especially when Alma kept shaking him. On the plus side, it made the lotuses disappear. But still,Yu had to wonder how the hell he got caught up into this as he poked around in the mess hall, looking every nook and cranny for that annoying lemon-obsessed brat. He had half a mind to expect that she was somewhere in there, rummaging through the produce storage for lemons for her next scheme.

But nope, there was no sign of her. Not in the kitchen, not in the storage cellar and definitely not under the tables and benches. He bent down to double check. _Checked, definitely not here._

But then he heard footsteps and distant trace of a conversation. _Shit._ Kanda silently cursed under his breath as he scanned the room for placed to hide. It wouldn't bode well if he was caught wandering around the Lab after hours. There weren't many options and they were coming closer. Gritting his teeth, he slid under the table and huddled in the darkest corner he could find, away from the light and hopefully, away from detection.

"It's been a while since we last had a talk over tea, nephew."

He froze recognising the voice. It was that old man named Zu (?) or something, the man who would keep reminding him that he could always come to him and talk about his dreams and visions. What the hell is that old man doing up at such an hour?

And when they walked into the light, Yu recognised Edgar, who nodded and agreed with Zu. He hoped they were just stoping by for a quick snack and leave but his hopes was dashed when the old man produced a tray of Yixing tea set onto the table. _Oh no,_ he recognised that tea set, he had sat opposite that tea set before when the old man attempted to coax him to talk. And he knew that they were going to be there for a while. Yu's hopes sunk.

Yu watched begrudgingly as the old man moved in swift motions, bringing up the tea leaves to his nose to take a whiff before depositing it into the Yixiang clay teapot, steeping the leaves in hot water and letting the calming aroma rise into the air. It was nice, it was comfortable and was a conversation starter. And sure enough, the conversation flowed.

Yu bit back a groan. Listening in on others conversation wasn't something he was fond of from the beginning. He had always assign those behaviours as annoying and invasive to his sense of privacy and would glare daggers at those nosey scientists or golems that tries to listen in. But somehow despite all that, he found himself in compromising positions doing the very thing he hated which was what he was doing now, crouching underneath under one of the tables in the mess hall in the dead of the night.

Perfect.

And the two of them launched into the most boring and long form of conversation that Yu had ever sat through. If he has to hear another discussion of which tea which is planted by which farmer that is presented by what's-his-face taste better than which tea, he would rather bash his head against the wall ten times. _Faster drink your damn tea and get the fuck out of here!_ His patience was thinning.

"I heard that you're leaving after this to visit the other members of our family at the main estate," Edgar was seated opposite the old man, his expression pleasant as usual.

"Yes," Zu poured a steaming cup and handed it to Edgar who accepted it graciously, "It's definitely been a long time since I last saw them. It would be nice to catch up even if its only for a short trip."

"Besides," The old man's eyes shone as he regarded Edgar, "I still have to tell them the happy news. It's not everyday a new Chang will come into the family."

Yu watched as Edgar's face combust into red peachy tones as the blonde cast his eyes to the side, clearing his throat and tugging at the collar of his shirt. The conversation made no sense. He couldn't figure out what they were talking about.

"It's not really such a big deal."

"Nonsense, of course it is!" Zu laugh, the warm timbre in his voice rang, "You and Twi must be really happy."

"We are," Edgar smiled sheepishly, face still red, "Although, we were surprised that it's still even possible."

"How did Bak take it?"

 _Bak?_ What's a Bak? Bak Kut Teh? Like that smelly brown soup that the scientists were always drinking with a bowl of rice? Yu wrinkled his nose at that thought.

"He seem alright with it. I don't know if it's for the right reasons though. It feels like he's happy that he will finally have someone that he could boss around," Edgar looked almost amused, "I don't think he realised that he would be the one that would be bossed around."

Why would a Bak Kut Teh want to boss anyone around? And who would want to boss a Bak Kut Teh around?

Yu's frown deepened. Adults are confusing.

And they continued to talk, jumping from one topic to another, laughter and chuckles accompanying certain beats of the conversation, all the while Yu was stuck there, feeling icky about himself that he was listening to such personal drivel. There were half the things there that he didn't understand but it was half more than he would ever want to know.

"You seem like you have a lot on your mind, Edgar," Zu peered at his Edgar's face.

"I do?" Edgar scratched the side of his head, looking sheepish before dropping his shoulders, "Yes, I guess I have a lot on my mind. There's one that makes me more than a little concerned."

"Care to share your thoughts?" Zu swirled the cup, taking a sip and sighing in satisfaction, "Sometimes a listening ear can lessen the burden."

Edgar stayed silent for a moment, his face pinched and deep in thought before sighing, "You may be right."

Yu felt the mood shift as Edgar looked less than ecstatic, running his fingers deliberately slow over the edges of the cup and licking his lips, "I have concerns about Qin's regeneration core, the fact that it's defective, in particular."

Zu's grip tightened and Edgar realised it too, "I see. You're worried for one of your charges."

"I hope that I'm not stepping over boundaries, Uncle. But I can't seem to stop thinking about it and the more I think about it…it's worrisome," Edgar paused, "Essentially, the job of an exorcist is to hunt down Akumas. And the Seconds are destined to take up the mantle of the exorcists should they be capable...When the regeneration core was designed, it had that objective in mind."

"Yes, that's exactly right," There's a weight in Zu's words, his eyes downcast.

"Because of that, the regeneration core is supposed to help the would-be accommodators of Innocence have a stronger constitution, the ability to heal fast and the ability to reject Akuma virus…" Edgar, leaned forward, expression determined, "Qin's core is defective and it takes her twice as long to heal. We're not even sure if she's capable of synchronising with an Innocence…but I can't help but to wonder that even if she managed to synchronise with the Innocence and become an accommodator…an exorcist…"

Edgar swallowed, "Will her body even be able to reject the Akuma virus?"

Zu was quiet. The atmosphere almost unnerving. And if Yu squinted hard enough, he could almost see Edgar's hand shaking. Akuma virus, where had he heard that term before? And it clicked. _Poisonous blood,_ that came from the Akumas. Once it touches your skin, the virus would spread in the form of pentacles, breaking down the body and leaving nothing but dust as the reminder of a person's existence. Was that what they were talking about?

"I have to know, Uncle," Edgar pressed on, "Is there a chance that she'll be able to reject the Akuma virus?"

"There's a possibility," Zu closed his eyes and Edgar relaxes, "Truth to be told, we can never know for sure. More importantly, did you tell anyone about your…concerns?"

Edgar tone was steady, "No."

"Good, it should stay that way," Zu brought the cup to his lips, downing the whole thing, "It's better for them to come to that conclusion themselves or better yet not at all. For the girl's sake, I pray for the latter."

"Now, drink up, your tea's getting late. I should leave soon."

"Right."

Theu continued for another ten minutes, their conversation and tone in general felt less cheerful than when they started and they eventually left after clearing up after themselves. When he was sure that they had finally left, Yu crawled out from under the table and plopped himself on the bench both tired and grumpy and feeling utterly disgusted at himself. _Why does this keep happening?_ It's much, much worse since this wasn't the first time this happened.

And to top it off, the lemon-obsessed brat was still nowhere to be found.

Maybe he should just stop. Maybe Alma had already found her. He leaned back, looking up at the chandelier that adorned the ceiling. It wasn't his problem, right? But then he had the image of Alma's pitiful face in his mind, wide eyes, lips pouting looking sorry and disappointed at him at the same time and Yu groaned.

This was ridiculous.

He dragged himself down the corridors to search once more. And somehow, for the first time (not really, but he won't ever admit it), he somehow gotten lost. The corridors was quiet and growing dusty and dustier by the second. And somehow, he found himself looking at a room covered in yellow tape. Yu frowned, confusion swimming his mind. What was this room? He had never seen this place before.

He didn't know what it was, it could be morbid curiosity, but went into the room, diving under the tape leaving it as it were as much as he could and his skin prickled at the state of the room, eyes picking up splotches of red. What exactly happened in here?

He touched the wall and felt a deep crack. There seemed to be something lodged in there. He stuck his fingers in, clasping around something that crinkled. Paper? He pulled it out, eyes setting on the folded yellowing parchments.

"No," A flash of blonde appeared and knocked him over.

He struggled in a tangle of limbs, trying to pushed the menace off. His vision cleared and he was livid when he saw her, fingers reaching out to his outstretched hand holding the parchments. What the hell was she doing?

"Get off!" He pressed her face, pushing her further.

"No!"

She launched forward, grabbing the yellowed pages in her hand and crawled away, and as he turned over in attempt to pursue her, he heard the sound of shredding paper accompanied by their ragged breaths. He watch, anger building up as she threw them on the ground and stomped on them. Whatever that was on it, didn't seem like anything good. Only more secrets. Secrets in Yu's experience had never been good.

"You-" He wanted to scream at her, yell at her but his words was cut off when he looked at her face, streaked with tears instead of defiance.

"Why are you crying?" He breathed.

"I-I don't know!" She turned away wiping her tear but with her sobs, he knew that they just kept coming.

"Stop crying already," His tone was softer, less harsh. He has no idea what to do.

"I would if I can!"

He stayed silent for a moment, hearing her as she continued to try but unsuccessfully pull herself together and he sighed. This was literal hell. He pinched his nose, bracing himself for literally what he was going to do. He pressed his arms on his knees and bent down to look at her in the face.

"I'm not mad," He frowned, "I'm annoyed not angry."

She scoffed still rubbing her eyes, "Of all the people in the world that would comfort me, the last person I expected was you."

And doubled over into his arms, "And you suck at it!"

Yu narrowed his eyes, feeling insulted. His eyebrow twitched. She was now in a heap of laughing and crying at the same time. And he was tempted, _very tempted,_ to drop her but she clutched onto his shirt so tightly that that point was fairly moot.

"What kind of face is that? Even a puppy would cry and run away! Hahaha, oh my gosh, I can't stop crying," She took a deep breath and deepened her voice, "I'm not mad. I'm not angry. I'm annoyed! Bwahhahahaha…"

"Stop," The edge in his voice was back.

"I c-can't." She hiccupped, bursting into another set of laughter and he wondered if he should just knocked her out, "I really can't."

Yeah, knocking her out was the best option.

"Qin? Yu?" Alma peeked his head into the room looking amused at the spectacle, "I've been looking all over for you, Qin…And I didn't know this place exists."

And she sobered up immediately. The laughter and crying both faded into silence and the only proof that it existed in the first place were the tears on her face. Her grip on his shirt tightened and her expression was full of reluctance. She didn't seem like she wanted to face Alma. Yu sighed, looking up at Alma shifting uncomfortably from feet to feet and he knew what to do. Grabbing her hands, he pulled them away from his shirt, grabbing her shoulder as she nearly stumbled over. He stared at Alma.

"Qin," Alma fiddled with his hands, "I'm very sorry for yelling at you."

Yu pushed her forward as gently as he was willing and took ten steps back. This was their conversation and he knew that he should give them as much space as they needed. As they conversed, he spotted something pink at the edge of his vision. He looked down and sure there was lotus flowers sprouting out of the ground again. _Not again…_ He closed his eyes, counting down backwards from ten.

The flowers were still there, sprouting in a graceful line leading up to a figure that was all too familiar, a woman holding a staff with that gentle bright smile. He was hit by a deep sense of longing as he stared at her, wishing he could see her much clearly. _Who are you?_

But she faded as if she was never there in the first place. _She probably wasn't,_ he thought to himself as he watched Alma wrapped his arms around Qin, looking right at him and gave him a bright smile. _Maybe, that's for the best._

 _._

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 _._

 _._

 **Two Days After Fiasco**

 _Everything seemed fine, almost better. Alma and I were finally talking and we finally agreed to leave. But Alma wanted to leave a message for those that would awaken later to give them a way to leave if they choose to do so._

 _Everything felt like it was going well, and then it all went to hell._

" _Who are you! Tell me!" Kanda yelled into the open air, collapsing onto the ground._

 _And everything played out as I feared._

 _The threads that binds us tangled so deep, that it was near impossible to escape._

* * *

 **I wanted there to be more interaction between Yu and Alma but haven't actually been able to write it in the past chapters without it feeling too forced or stale. Despite Qin being there, I wanted to show that Yu and Alma talked to each other a lot, even sometimes on the deeper stuffs.**

 **I'm not sure if I did it right, but I'm happy enough with it.**

 **Also, I kinda want to brush up the previous chapters (not a rewrite. I promise. Just to make it nicer and clean up any errors) and improve the future chapters, so it would really help out (albeit a bit scary) if you can tell me on what I can improve on.**

 **Question of the day : If you were to wake up in the world of DGM, what will you do?**

 **I love to hear your thoughts on what you think of this chapter and which scene caught your attention the most.**

 **See you all in the next chapter and I hope that all of you are doing well.**


	14. Hear Our Prayers

**When I first listened to AmaLee's Synchronicity, I was pretty much blown away. It's beautiful in every aspect and it reminded me a lot of Alma, Kanda and Qin. The epigraph in the beginning of the chapter is the verse in the song that hits me the hardest. It perfectly describes the three of them and their relationship to each other. Needless to say, I listened to it to get in the grove of writing.**

 **An Announcement, I have a new tumblr page called WinterYule where I will be posting my writing progress and when I'm about to update as well as bits and pieces of stories that didn't make it in and even a bit of art.**

 **Important question, would you guys be interested in having a discord server? It would also be a good way for me to interact with you guys. I'm actually thinking of co-hosting one with Cheshire's Mayhem who wrote Veils of Ink and Gold that features very interesting OC x Tyki fic. You should check out her story, it's really good.**

 **Okay, let's get into the reviews**

 **(xenocanaan) Thank you. I hope that you like this chapter too.**

 **(Savage Kill) Yep, I've been trying to get here but there was lots of ground to cover before this. I have lots of fun writing their little adventures but it's time for the story to move forward.**

 **(Adripadher) Go you! Go do the thing that we always want to do! We will cheer you on and support you. Cross, you better protect our hero!**

 **(pendora59) Thank you. I'm sorry I haven't picked up French and I don't really want to butcher your language so I hope you don't mind if I reply in English. Being a Second Exorcist will definitely give you an advantage and you can just knock Alma and Yu out and drag them to the exit and then everything will be less depressive. I mean learn from Qin's mistake and just get them out of there.**

 **(ADDBaby) Both are equally sad but don't be sad 😞 Thank you, it really makes me happy that you think so. And it also makes me giddy that you picked up on the fact. It's true that even though Qin is very dear to Alma but Alma and Yu have a special bond. Ooh, I would give you a bunch of tissues and hand you a kitty to cheer you up. And all the strays you meet will definitely love you.**

 **(tyesedon) Thank you, I'm enjoying my holidays quite a bit even though it involves lots of cleaning. Kanda would probably forget but it would be at the back of his mind tickling until it finally clicks (maybe when Lavi make a dirty joke or something) and he would jolt up his seat, face burning red with embarrassment. XD It would probably be very funny since he would be super sensitive to any innuendo after that realisation.**

 **Ooh brave one! Go meet Allen and the others and have the adventure of a lifetime.**

 **(dizzydaz97)** **Thank you? *pats head***

 **(Cheshire Mayhem) Haha, now only I noticed the other half of the review. I'm still giddy that you picked up that Twi is pregnant and yes, if Bak had a little brother he and Fou would bully Bak endlessly but he loves them anyways.**

 **(Guest) Thank you. And yes, I love that scene a lot. Yu's face is always scary even when he's trying to comfort someone. Which makes me wonder how he tries to comfort a crying Lenalee? He's going to have to practice, must as well start now.**

 **(Crystal Blue Butterfly) Ooh, Hello! Thank you for checking out my story and I'm glad you like it. :)**

* * *

 **14th Night**

 **Hear Our Prayer**

" _As we drift into the world of night,_

 _We huddle close together, wings tucked in tight,_

 _Like little birds that can't find the strength to fly,_

 _We dream about a wide open sky."_

 _-Amalee, Synchronicity_

* * *

Inevitability, I never thought I would hate a word more than now.

Breathing, I pushed open the heavy wooden doors, cold mists enveloped me, blinding my vision for a second before fading away, leaving me alone to face this cold reality. I looked down.

 _Blood._ Blood was everywhere.

I could barely keep myself from balking as I took a step into the Cold Containment Chamber, red engulfing the white that usually pervades the room. I tightened my gripped on the CROW'S needle, keeping my eyes away from the ground and the pods glowing crimson. Every part of me was screaming at me to run away and make a break for it…but I couldn't do that. _Didn't_ want to do that.

Taking a breath, I pushed myself forward. A body hurled at me and I leapt to the side, turning to see the bloodied body of a CROW cracked with a sickening crunch as it splattered to the ground, red spilling everywhere, rushing towards me and pooling around my feet. My breath quivered. _I'm so scared. I'm so scared._ The blood sticks to my feet, as if begging for me to save them. I closed my eyes, taking one breath after another, trying my best to calm down.

"Alma, don't do this…"

My eyes snapped open. _That's Edgar's voice._ Whipping my head left and right, I struggled to find the source of the voice. _There!_ I could barely make out the figures in the fog but it was enough. Pushing myself forward, I ran off, leaving bloody footprints on the floor, nearly slipping and falling into the pit if I hadn't caught myself in time. No time. I have to hurry! Bursting through the fog I met Edgar's alarmed eyes.

"Qin, get away!" He pulled a heavily bleeding Twi Chang behind him.

 _I couldn't._

Breathing heavily, so heavily that I could swear that I could smell the stench of fear and death in the air. The fear grows sinisterly as Alma turned to look at me, a smile stretched across his face but there was no warmth. _This wasn't the Alma that I had gotten to know…this wasn't my friend anymore_. The winged Innocence flexed and stretched, an in an instant, shot towards Edgar, stabbing him through the chest. Stumbling back, I fell to ground, blood, _Edgar's blood_ splattering onto my face.

"Qin, you're here," His eyes were chilling, "I was waiting for you…"

As I stared into his eyes, I couldn't help but to think; _Is this how everything was going to end?_ Wasn't there something I could've done to stop this? Wasn't my existence enough to change this? I closed my eyes, mind racing through every possibilities that I could've taken.

What could I have done differently?

* * *

Forty-eight hours. That's all it took for everything to turn to hell.

And I was none the wiser. I though that everything would be fine, that time was on our side, that it wouldn't be long before we left this hell hole of a place. And everything would be fine. But time and winter has a way of creeping up on us, snaring us in a sinister play of inevitability.

And on that cold morning, while the three of us were up in our own little worlds, no idea that our roles written in inks of black and white slowly came to life. It was the beginning of an end.

" _Qin?"_ A voice called out to me in the darkness.

Gentle hands gripped my shoulders, shaking me and with great reluctance, my eyes fluttered open, a warm tear dripped down my cheek. I wiped it away in an instant but felt unsettled. Why was I crying? Before I could even grasp at the reason, memories of the dream faded, out of my reach.

"Were you even listening to me?" Alma pouted, eyebrow quirking up, eyes mixed with annoyance and concern at the same time.

He had been rather careful with me ever since our fight. And it felt unnaturally unnatural at times. And I have no idea how to react to it. So I do what I always did, I play along, pretending that nothing was wrong.

I yawned and grinned, "Yep, been listening this whole time."

Relaxing onto the pillar of the Cold Containment Chamber, my eyes wandered, briefly spotting Kanda sitting at the other corner, quiet and staring off into the distance. It looks like I wasn't the only one getting tired of Alma and his long ass ramblings.

"Argh, this is so hard? Why is writing a letter so hard?" Alma crumbled the paper into a ball and tossed it a little too vehemently.

I eyes at the growing pile, keeping a note at the back of my mind to get rid of it. But procrastination is no virtue. Sighing, I bent down and picked it up, ball by ball and tossed it on the blanket that he had sat on that now laid empty as he paced back and forth with a pile of messy parchments in his arms. If he keeps this up, he's going to wear a hole into the ground. And that means someone's (read: most probably me) going to trip and it's not going to be pretty. But after hearing him ramble on and on for almost two days about what to write and dealing with hundreds of discarded _'Dear friends'_ letters, tripping would be a welcome distraction.

"How long should I make it? What words should I use? What if they can't understand what I'm trying to say?" He threw his hands up in defeat and walk circles around the sleeping pit and me being me, I was half-hoping that he would fall in and make a splash.

"Maybe a swim will keep your brain juice flowing?" I picked at a thread at the hem of my shirt.

His head snapped towards me, eyes wide, "You want me to freeze to death?"

 _At this point, maybe._ "Ugh, just write that damn letter already!"

"It's not that easy!" He folded his arms and pouted defensively, "What would you write anyways?"

"This way to exit?" I shrugged, "Fight for your freedom? Follow the water and swim like a fish? A map, perhaps?"

"But what if they can't figure it out?" And he started pacing again, carrying into another rant which I quickly tune out.

"Well, they're sleepy, not dopey," I flicked the thread, watching in fascination as it fluttered to the ground, "Don't treat them like they don't know how to think or figure stuff out. Give them some credit."

To be honest, I don't think that leaving a letter would make much of a difference. Even if they do wake up, which was a stretch, there's no guarantee that they would even find it and even if they find it, there's no guarantee they would even want to leave. But either ways, they would definitely be better off (though I'm also not so sure about that) if we just left.

Not that I'm going to say that to his face. The incident from two days ago still fresh on my mind. My smile soured a little at the thought. No point picking at a scabbing wound that's starting to heal.

"I don't know…" Alma scratched his head with the butt of his pen.

I gave him a blunt stare, "Are you calling them brainless?" I crouched down and whispered into the pit, "Psst, hey, did you hear that? Your friend here thinks you guys are brainless."

"Hey!" He looked insulted, "That's not what I meant at all and shh! Don't say it so loud, you're going to hurt their feelings!"

"They're asleep, Alma," I deadpanned.

"Even so!" His voice dropped to a whisper and grumbled to himself, "…they're going to be our friends too…I like to think they're listening when I'm talking to them anyways."

I rolled my eyes, of course he I have a feeling that he likes the sound of his voice, _a lot._

But if I squint a bit deeper, I could really see that wasn't really the case. He talks a lot to fill in the quite spaces in between conversations and lengths of silence. It sometimes feels like he's afraid of silence. Maybe it reminded him how lonely it was for him when he first woken up?

Must be why they meant so much to him. I peeked at the sleeping pits, blowing hot breaths onto my hands and rubbing them together for warmth. They must've represented some kind of hope for him at that time.

Which makes everything feels all kinds of twisted poetic-nes, knowing what _might_ happen in the end.

"Dear…." I watch in fascination as Alma started listing out and jotting out the names of the second exorcist. _You're joking._ It's never going to end anytime soon if he keeps this up.

"That's a long opening for your long list of lovers," I whistled, "Writing a love letter, are we?"

"Not helping, Qin," He turned away from me, holding it closer to his body and I rolled my eyes, "I saw that."

"No you didn't," I kept a straight face as he peeked back at me.

"Yes I did," He shot back, "Yu, tell her you saw that too."

There was silence.

"Yu?"

" _What do you want with me?"_

I snapped my head to the side and Alma spun around, watching in horror as Kanda crumbled to the ground, fingers caging around his head, face pinched in agony. My heart hammered and stopped. _I know this…_ Realisation came to me, drying up all moisture in my throat. My body trembled, screaming at me to do something.

 _No, no, no, no, no._ This can't be happening. I thought we have more time.

"Yu? What's wrong?" Alma ran forward. I reached out to grab him but missed, finger brushing past his wrist.

I watched, still unable to break free of the fear and dread clamping onto me as Alma dropped to his knees, throwing his arms around Kanda, muttering words that swung between panic and comfort. Nothing seem to work. My eyes darted around the Cold Containment Chamber. _No one, perfect._ If we want to leave, it has to be now. Gritting my teeth together, I pushed myself forward, dragging Kanda and throwing his arm around my shoulders, ignoring Alma's protests.

"We need to go, now," Without waiting for him, I started dragging Kanda painfully slowly towards the door.

Why is he so heavy? What had he been eating? Alma's secret stash of mayonnaise?

Alma followed after me, confusion clear on his face as he dragged Kanda's other arm over his shoulders.

"What are you doing, Qin? Yu's in pain, he needs help," He glanced at me but his gaze always drifted back to Kanda, "We should call Doctor Edgar and the others."

"No!" I yelled and came to a stop before resuming my steps and dropping down to a hissed whisper, "If we want to help him, we need to leave now."

He didn't look good. Kanda's eyes were open but they were glassy as if they weren't really seeing at all. And with each step forward, he muttered jumbled words under his breath, making me feel a sense of unease. Alma's right. He's definitely in pain and he needs help. But they won't be able to help him. He groaned, fingers tightening around my upper arm and sunk his nails into my skin. It's getting worse. But I can't stop. If we stop now, it's over. Pressing on, I tried to move faster despite the weight, pain and pressure. Alma's eyes keep darting towards Kanda, the creases of worry between his brow growing deeper.

"Qin, I think we really should-"

"Damn it, Alma, will you just trust me for once!"

He stopped, abruptly. I pitched forward and stumbled before catching myself. Confused, I swivelled back and met his eyes. There were doubt in them. I sighed. Of course he would have doubts, he had no idea what's going to happen. Yu, Edgar, Twi, the scientists, everyone here is a part of his big dysfunctional family. Of course he would think they would have the best of intentions. _Why does everything have to be so complicated?_

"Alma?"

"He's in pain. He needs help, Qin," He was earnest and that made it even more frustrating.

I had so much to say. Words bubbled up in my throat, threatening to spill out. I wanted to say something, anything, that could make him see it my way. But the words jumbled in my mind and couldn't come fast enough. As I opened my mouth, a Golem shot through from the corner, glassy eyes wide and unblinking. _Shit._ It's too late. Crackling voices broke through and footsteps pounded, growing louder. Edgar burst through the door, Rikki and the others following close behind and their eyes fell onto the boys, yelling orders to the staff behind them.

I froze.

 _What should I do?_

Everything happened in an instant, the scientists, pulling Kanda away from Alma. _What can I do?_ Alma reached out towards Edgar, voice frantic and Edgar muttered comforting words to Alma, assuring him that everything was going to be alright. _All lies, I knew better._ But I couldn't do a damn thing.

Holding my breath, bottling up my every concern, my every panic and anxiety that threatened to crack the already full bottle, I watched helplessly as they took Kanda and exited the door. Watch as Alma called out after them, watch as the door closed, leaving the two of us alone. And everything was silent once more. The seconds ticked by and the atmosphere grew heavier…almost choking and I remembered I was holding my breath.

I breathed out, but didn't feel any better.

Glaring at the offending spot on the ground, my jaw tightened and my hands balled into shaking fists. There's a heavy, intense feeling burning in my chest but I wasn't sad, I'm angry. And I want to hit something. It better be something good before I bury my fist into Alma's teeth.

Something black fluttered into my vision. It's glassy, unblinking eye stared down at me and I saw was red.

Reaching up, I grabbed it's tail, snapping it's body into my other hand, covering that annoying eye and stomped towards the door. _It's all your fault,_ I muttered under my breath with a low growl, _if you hadn't appeared, I would've had everything under control!_ I pried open the door in one brutal movement.

 _You nosy piece of equipment!_

"Get out and stay out!" I yelled hurling the ball into the distance, sticking out my tongue and slamming the door shut, rattling the walls.

"Qin?" Alma stared at me thunderstruck.

I pressed my back against the door, cold seeping into me as I struggled to regain a semblance of calmness. It didn't work. My breaths becoming more and more erratic. Again, he called my name and I snapped my head towards him, glaring. All of a sudden, he looks so punchable. And he heals fast too. The more I thought about it, the more tempting it was. It's just one punch, and all will be good. It wouldn't even hurt much. It would definitely hurt much less than when Kanda cratered him into the wall and much less than the synchro-testing sessions and definitely much less when he eventually kills us all.

"Qin, what are you doing?" He shivered as he took a step back as I took one forward and it took me a second to realise that I was holding up my shaking fist.

Just one little punch and it'll all be good.

But damn it, I don't have time for this. Sighing, I dropped my arm, pressing down on my thumb, tightly wrapped between my fingers. We're already running on borrowed time and it felt like the sand had finally trickled down to its last grains. Images of blood and mangled bodies in black and white flashed through my mind and my fear spiked. I shook my head, clearing the thoughts away. I'm not going to let that happen. I can't let that happen.

There's still time.

Turning on my heels, I headed towards the door.

"Qin?"

I paused mid-step, looking over my shoulder, "What?"

"Where are you going?"

"Why should I tell you? You don't really care anyways," I watch with deep satisfaction as he flinched.

"I-"

"I'm serious when I said that they're not going to help him. They can't. And you're going to realise that I'm right," The words flow, I couldn't stop myself, "I just ask for you to trust me. You clearly don't"

He shrunk. And I wanted to say more, but this really wasn't the time.

I bit on the many other things I wanted to say to him. Some hurtful, some even spiteful, but I couldn't bring myself to voice it. It didn't seem fair. He doesn't know better. I repeated the last line in my mind, simmering down my temperament that's all over the place.

"Listen, Alma," Glancing into the freezing waters, I chose my words carefully, "You made a promise to me. Please keep it."

Not waiting for his reply, I pushed the door open and stepped into the hallways before backtracking and popping my head into the room and yelled, "Oh! And when you get a tray, don't forget to keep it when you're done clubbing people with it. Remember that!"

And off I ran. My mind raced as I keep an eye out for Golem, making sure that none was near me and none was watching. Thousands of thoughts circled in my mind, I don't know what I should do but there has to be something. _Think!_ The scientists, they're going to dispose of Kanda soon, Alma's going to realise that and try to break him out, he would get that tray to knock everyone out and try to escape through that water canal, and then the CROWS will appear and then what? And then, everything goes to hell.

What can I do? How can I ensure that we get a chance to get away?

We need a distraction. I need to buy Alma more time to get away with Kanda. And the CROWS spells are definitely going to be a problem. I have no idea how the hell they would work except that they can trapped us in barricades of yellow slips and the needles would stun our muscles.

And almost instantly, I knew what to do.

Turning on my heel, I raced towards our quarters, bursting through the door and beeline towards the beds. _Pillows, pillows, pillows._ I grabbed Yu's fluffy pillow and ripped into it, pulling out bits and pieces of feathers making a mess on the floor. Holding it upright, I pulled Alma's pillow tucking it under my arm. A small slip fluttered onto the ground.

Confused, I picked it up. It was a photo…one that was folded quite a few times and had crooked edges. It was of the three of us with the rest of the scientists. A sour look was on mine and Yu's face as we turned away from each other with a brightly smiling Alma in the middle. This was so long ago…we weren't even friends yet. And he's keeping it under his pillow all this time?

Biting my lip, I debated for a bit, before tucking it into my pocket. He might still want it.

Sighing, I reached out for the blankets, swinging them over my shoulder and took one last look at our room, every nook and cranny and whispered goodbye before shooting out the door and leaving it all behind.

"Damn it, where should I go?" I looked at the diverging hallways, "Sahlins meeting room? No. The water canal."

I looked towards the more dingy hallways. Alma would definitely go there, but I need to get to them before he gets there. Taking a turn, I nearly slammed into a body but they managed to stop just in time.

"Alma?"

"Qin?" He was huffing, Kanda barely clinging onto his back and his fingers barely clinging on to a rather bent up tray. He took one look at me and yelled, "Where were you? I was looking everywhere for you!"

"Shh!" I slapped my palm onto his lips, dragging him aside to the corner, "Not so loud, dummy! You want to get us caught?"

He shook his head furiously and I dropped my palm, pressing my hand on the blankets on my shoulders that were slipping.

"You were right, Qin," Alma's voice was shaking as he spoke between breaths, "They wanted to get rid of Yu. But I couldn't just let him-"

"I know, I know…" I took the chance to glance at Kanda and he wasn't in much better shape, slipping between the lines of conscious and unconscious, "But we really need to go now. The CROWS are going to come after us, any moment now. If we get caught, it's all over for all of us."

"Then let's go now. Let's leave through the irrigation canal-"

"If we go that way, we will definitely be caught."

His eyes widened with alarm, "Then what should we do?"

I looked at him, "Do you trust me, Alma?"

He stared into my eyes, blue eyes for once clear of doubts, "I do."

"Then here's what we need to do," I grinned, pressing the torn pillow and a blanket into his arms.

* * *

"Find them!" Sahlins roared, "Under no circumstances should they escape!"

The state of the Asian Branch Underground Laboratory could only be described as chaos. Not even an hour ago, they had found out that one of their experiment had failed and was slotted to be frozen and disposed of. And not even ten minutes after that, they returned to a scene littered with knocked out scientists, and the subject known as Yu was gone. To make things more dire, the other two Seconds, Alma and Qin were nowhere to be found. And the Overseer of the experiment, Sahlins Epstein didn't seem too pleased.

Castor, the appointed leader of CROWS' unit, tugged on his hood as he absorbed the information. Their role was now more important than ever. Central had posted them to the Asian Branch to monitor the progress of the Second Exorcist Project and intervene if anything had gone out of hand. After the last incident, intervention was needed and now, it's proven to be necessary.

The Second Exorcist Project was a top secret experiment that had been keep under in-measurable amount of bureaucratic tape that even most high ranking officials in the Black Order hadn't even heard about it. And he had orders from the top to keep it that way. If the three subjects were to escape or were to be discovered by an outsider, there would be consequences.

But he, the leader of the Central Office Battle Corps, unit four wasn't going to let that happen.

In his books, they were the liability and needed to be dealt with promptly. Their fates were sealed from the moment that they had decided to run away.

Without even a single work uttered, they went to work, making quick work of tracking down the targets, gleaming clues and traces along the hallways. It wasn't a monuments tasks, their targets were children after all, and children were always sloppy.

 _Found them._

He zeroed in on them. Picking up his presence, they turned eyes wide and frightened and he wasn't certain but there were hints of defiance shinning within them. No matter, it will be over in an instant.

"Run, Alma, run!" The girl yelled at they boy and they rushed into divergent paths.

 _Splitting up, are they?_ Without speaking, two of his underlings went after the boy, but when the third was about to follow, Castor lifted his arm to stop him, "Wait." He looked down onto the ground, eyes trailing along the path of feathers that followed down the path the boy had went. His mind flashed to that instant before that they were both carrying something heavily obscured in blankets on their back. A sardonic smile pulled on his lips. _So this was their plan_.

"Our main objective to capture and contain the subject Yu. Let Madora and Vora handle the boy," He looked down the other path, clear of feathers, "Our target is with the girl."

Lowering down his arm, the chase began. They were hot on her trail as the girl stumbled, pressing herself to go faster, out of their reach. Even though she was tiny and small, Castor had to admit that she was fast, outrunning them and taking unexpected twists and turns to lose them. _Clever,_ Castor thought to himself, _but not clever enough._ He threw a needle at her as he made a turn, the sharp edge grazed the side of her cheek before embedding onto the wall.

"That was a warning shot," His voice steely and commanding, "Come with us quietly or face the consequences."

Her blue eyes narrowed she gritted her teeth.

"Bleh!" She stuck out her tongue and made a break for it.

Castor couldn't help but to sigh. Why do they always choose to do it the hard way? His cloak billowed around him as he pushed himself to go faster, years of training serving him well as he didn't even feel a slight bit out of breath. But she was getting tired. He could tell from the way, her breathing became more and more erratic and her steps stumbling.

She disappeared into the corner and he turned as fast only to discover that she was gone. _Impossible,_ she wasn't that fast. The sound of rushing water caught his ears and he spotted the manhole in the ground.

"Tch," He clicked his tongue and signal for his men to follow.

One by one, they dropped down the manhole into the irrigation canal. From the corner of his eyes, he caught sight of a sliver of blonde flashing by. And the chase continued, and they were in his sights again. The girl pushed herself to go faster, panic apparent in her breathing as she cast her eyes over her shoulder, every few seconds, the dread in her expression becoming all the more clear.

And opening appeared ahead and Castor could see light and a ledge leading down into the rushing waters. It's the end of the road, she was cornered now, nowhere to run. She peered into the distance and he saw a silver of hope in her face. _Is that her plan?_ He won't let that happen. He send needles flying.

 _Clang!_ And a scream, the needles tore through the sheet and clattered to the ground. Castor blinked, confused, watching her fall over, clutching the needle pierced through her shoulder as the blanket tied around her loosened, a metal tray and a pillow clattering to the ground, their main target nowhere in sight.

 _What's happening?_

Not missing a beat, his unit sends the defensive charms flying, forming a barricade of yellow around her, restricting her movement. _So that Apostle was with that boy all along._ He took a step forward, feeling fury and shame burned within him. It was his mistake and he hates mistakes. No matter, it wouldn't be long before Madora and Vora capture and contain them. At this point, none of it makes a difference.

There's no escape for her now.

"Apostle," He kept his voice steely, "Please return."

She gripped her shoulder, panting, catching her breath and her eyes darted around as if searching for something. _What,_ Castor didn't know and honestly didn't care. There's no way out now. All of a sudden, her eyes fixed onto something behind him and she grinned.

"CANONBALL RUN!"

Castor turned his head only to see the apostle known as Alma rushing towards them in a sprint, a flurry of feathers fluttering behind him. He was stunned before registering the situation. The CROWS sent yellow slips and needles flying after them but it was too late. The boy barrelled past them, knocking into the Restriction Wings and right into the girl, sending the three of them flying over the edge.

Castor stared down the ledge at empty space, disbelieved. And then annoyance coated uncomfortably around him. _Now, he had to go down and get them._

* * *

"Idiots, all of you," Kanda hissed under his breath as I gained consciousness.

Bak's scream rang dully in my ears as I coughed out water, my body flailing uselessly as Kanda dragged us out of the water by or collars and tossed us onto the ground before collapsing behind us. Hissing, I shivered as the cold air bit into my bones as I struggled to regain mobility and feelings in my limbs. Numbness and pain permeate through my left shoulder down to my fingers. I could feel the effects of the CROWS needle's hex working on my body, spreading the pain and numbness. Pressing my other hand against the floor, I tried to push myself up only to fall flat again.

 _Shit, this is bad._ I slammed my fist against the ground. We need to get up and get out of here fast. It wouldn't take long for the CROWS to catch up to us.

"Are you two trying to get me killed?" Kanda groaned, voice muffled as he was face down against the floor.

Jeez, a thank you would be nice. But I didn't have the strength to berate him as we lay there in a pile, trying desperately to catch our breaths.

"Hey…Can you pull this thing out?" His tone polite for once.

"The doctor!" Bak stammered, "I'll go get him!"

 _Oh no, you don't._ Reaching out I grabbed his leg as Kanda grabbed the other, sending Bak falling face flat onto the ground.

"Chief, what's wrong?" _Is that Marie?_ I was too tired that I didn't want to turn to check.

"Don't need a doctor," Kanda spoke between breaths, "If you just yank it out, it'll heal."

"Please…There's a hex on it and it's giving me a hard time…"

I must be losing my mind. Did Kanda just used the word _please._ I watched from the corner of my vision as Marie picked up Kanda and yanked the needle out. _There's no time._ We have to get away now. Shifting my body slightly, Alma's body came into my vision, unmoving and covered in stray feathers but otherwise completely unharmed. There's no traces of CROW needles. _Good._

"Alma," I groaned, kicking him in the face, "Get up, we need to go now. GET UP!"

I heard Alma came to life, sucking in deep breaths and sputtering water all over, scrambling to get away from my foot and I felt a whoosh of relief. He can move.

"Ugh! It's so cold!" Alma groaned, rubbing his hands over his arms in a fruitless attempt to get warm, "I died so many times. I thought it's never going to end….Eh, who are you? And you? And Yu! Are you hurt?"

I kicked him, "Need help. Yank the needle out. Talk later."

"Qin!" He scrambled over, reaching down and yanking the needle out in one painful motion, "Your plan work!"

"No, it's not over yet," I got to my feet, stumbling, my left arm still numb and hanging uselessly but I was no longer in pain, "The CROWS are coming."

Almost as if they heard me, they appeared, walking out of the shadows, all eyes drawn to their red robes. Bak stared at the CROWS before looking back at us, confusion and conflict clashing in his eyes. I took a step forward but my balance off, Alma launching forward to steady me. _This is bad. This is real bad._ My gaze dropped onto Kanda. He's in that state of conscious and unconscious again. He can't run like that.

"Hand over the children," The CROWS' held out his hand.

"What did they do?" Bak put himself in between, shielding us, "They're just children."

Clutching at my shoulder, I looked up at Bak in surprise. He's not just handing us over and be done with it? I bit my lip. That's going to buy us some time but it won't matter much, the CROWS are going to try to take us back by force, one way or another. But I'm not going back. We've come to far to stop now.

"Grab Yu," I whispered to Alma and he nodded, shifting closer to Marie.

"We're under direct orders to retrieve them, Asian Branch Head Chief, Bak."

"But what for? Why are they hurt that way?" Bak sounded more and more authoritative, "Is it really necessary to use your needles on children?"

Alma held Yu in his arms, trying to wake him up and Marie stood up and even though his eyes were bandaged, I could tell that he was confused. I scanned the room, taking in any paths that served as a quick escape route. At this point, it didn't matter if we get out or not, we're going to have to lose those CROWS or it would all be for nothing.

 _Time to bring in the waterworks._

"Mister," I sniffed, pulling at Bak's clothing and staring up at him with a pair of kicked puppy eyes, "Those men are being meanies."

"What did they do? You can tell me," He looked at my limp arm, drumming up the pity level for my case.

"Those bad men, took me and my friends from our village and bring us here, promising us lots of candy," _Please buy it, buy it, buy it because my ass is on the line,_ "That man told us that we're going to polish their dirty boots everyday now and bring them their lunches."

"What?"

"And if we don't, they would punish us," Suddenly, I have a splash of inspiration, "It was horrible, Mister. They said lots of bad words and even called us names. And he says so many terrible things about other people too. Like how the blonde Assistant Branch Chief is so skinny and weak that he could take him in a fist fight and that the lady Branch Chief has big bosoms and is so fine and he liked to tap that."

"Outrageous," Bak gasped, spinning around and glaring at the CROWS, face red with anger and second hand embarrassment, "My mother -Ahem- The Branch Chief will hear about this-"

 _Sorry about this._ I pushed Bak, sending him stumbling forward into the CROWS. And started running. Looking over my shoulder, I spotted Alma struggling to drag Kanda along as he ran, panting heavily.

"Toss him!"

"What?"

"Hurl him as far as you can!"

Even with adrenaline pumping through my veins, I couldn't help but to snicker as Alma threw an angry cussing Kanda into the distance. He sailed over my head, sending me mini death glares before slamming face first into the pillar, leaving a significant crack before falling flat onto the ground. I stumbled, trying not to die of laughter as I ran up to him.

"I'm going to get you for that," He hissed as we scooped him up.

"You can thank me, later," I was barely holding in my laughter, nearly losing my grip on him.

The CROWS were hot on our tails, gaining on us as we frantically, dragged Kanda across the floor, trying to get away. My left arm regained feeling. _It's about time._ I clamped both hands down on Kanda's arm and heaved, moving faster than before. But it wasn't enough. The CROWS were getting closer. I hissed curse words under my breath, hoping for some miracles to happen. All of a sudden, something did. The pillar cracked, and with a thunderous sound crashed onto the ground, sending billows of smoke and dust everywhere and dividing us from the CROWS.

What do you know? Wishes do come true.

"Go," I hushed whispered, helping Kanda onto Alma's back and off we went with no directions where we are heading and through the dust, we can barely see each other.

"Argh!" Alma screamed through the dust, I turned left and right unable to see him. Opening my mouth, I was about to call out to him when he yelled, "Let go! Ahhh...Qin, run! Hide!"

Without thinking, my body moved and I smooshed myself into the corner behind blocks of stuff. A shadow appeared and I saw glimpse of red robes and my heart hammered harder. Covering, my mouth, I tried not to make a sound, drowning in panic-related adrenaline pumping through my veins. The CROW stopped in front of the place I stuck myself in, robes shifting as he looked around.

"Did you find her?" A voice crackled through the Golem.

I held my breath.

"No," The CROW replied, "The girl apostle is nowhere to be found."

"We have the other two in our posession. We'll hand them in now, you stay and track her down."

"Understood."

The communication cut out. I stayed perfectly still waiting, praying. And the CROW finally left. Relieved, I dropped ny hands from my mouth, the corner of my cheeks aching from the pressure. I looked out, the dust already settled and the coast looked clear but I didn't leave. Hugging my knees to my chest, I pressed my forehead against my arm. For the first time in a long time, I was really alone.

* * *

"It's gone! The Innocence, it's all gone!" Alma slammed his bloodied fist onto the ground, ignoring the pain that shot up his fingers as the skin knitted back together, regenerating.

Just when he needed to find it the most, it's no longer at the place where it usually was. But Alma was quick to get into action, pushing open one of the door and and sneaking into the wide dark room where the only light source came from a hole in the ground with a gigantic tube leading down it. He creeped out towards it, peering down into the white light and he knew that this was it. This was where the scientists had stored the Innocence when they finished with the Synchronisation testing. He could feel the soft hum of energy in in the air, leaving tingling sensation at the tip of his fingers and the soft whispers calling out to him.

"Where are you, Alma?" A voice called out in the distance.

Alma whipped his head behind him, growling under his breath in annoyance, "Damn it, they're too quick to get here!"

And he had just got away from them too! He grimaced, still feeling the sensations of the shackles ghosting on his wrist. It had hurt a lot when he ripped them out to escape. He couldn't sit still and wait while Qin was still out there on her own, finding her way out and Yu was taken away from him and would be frozen and disposed of. _He just couldn't_. If only they had left together earlier…He berated himself for his mistake but he cut down that thought as soon as it came. Now wasn't the time to think about this. He had to get the Innocence, and he had to get to it before he gets caught.

"Wait for me, Yu.." Breathing heavily, Alma grabbed the tube leaning further in, towards the hole ready to climb down, "I won't let them get rid of you."

"Alma!" The door creaked open and the light shone into his face, throwing him off balance and Alma found himself falling.

"Ahh!" Panicking, he threw his arms and legs around the tube, trying to regain his bearings, hissing as his leg slipped for a moment and letting a sigh of relief when he regained his grip, "Oh my god, that was close. I slipped."

A light shined overhead and Edgar's face appeared above, for the first time looking completely mad, "What are you doing down there?"

"Ack!" Alma's heart thundered as he struggled to hold on.

This was the first time Edgar had ever used that tone on them. The man's usual calm and kind demeanour was gone replaced with a strict parent or disciplinarian that held an air similar to Twi. And Alma couldn't help but to shiver at that. Twi can be very scary when she really wants to. And seeing Edgar now, with that expression and that tone, Alma had to wonder when did Edgar learned that from Twi?

"Get back up here, Alma!" Edgar roared, "I know that Yu's precious to you but-"

Something snapped inside Alma, "NO!"

How dare he? How dare _they_? How can he even say that after all they've gone through together? That he should just let him die? That all the time that they had spent together didn't matter? And that all the pain they've gone through didn't matter? That in the end, they're all going to be split apart anyways? That he has to watch Yu die and wait in fear wondering when they were going to take Qin away next?

"How can you guys ever hope to understand?" Alma shot back, arms gripping tighter around the tube, eyes blazing with anger, "What do you want me to do? Sit down and watch Yu die? If you guys really understand, you wouldn't trying to split us apart! And who are you going towhat's next? Me? Qin?"

"I'm not going to sit here and watch Yu die!" The tube shook violently.

Alma watched as Edgar's expression withered looking almost helpless and haunted. And the anger inside him subsided and Alma almost felt guilty. _But it didn't matter._ Alma tightened his jaw, his resolve burning stronger than ever. He have to save Yu. He have to get the Innocence. It was the only way out. It was the only way that they were going to live. Yu, Qin, himself…they're going to come out of this, alive, together.

And the only way out was to synchronise with Innocence.

"I'm going to save him. I'm going to save them," Alma loosens his grip, preparing to let go, "We can fight, as long as we have Innocence…"

He lets go, letting his body fall. He watched as Edgar yelled his name, reaching forward, fingers stretching out towards him begging him not to go. But it was too late, Alma had already made up his mind, focusing on the hope that lay below him that grew brighter and brighter with every moment. As long as they have Innocence, they couldn't do anything to them. Couldn't do anything to Yu.

 _It was what they've built us for…it's all they ever wanted and it's what they're going to get._

* * *

"Don't go, Alma!" Edgar felt his heart ripped apart as Alma let go.

How did it turn out like this?

Edgar's hand shook as he watched Alma fall down the hole leading to the Innocence Containment Chamber. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest and he could hardly breath, a torrent of chaotic thoughts swirling in his mind. This was a mess. He gritted his teeth, grabbing at his hair, digging his nails into his scalp. As if the pain would bring him clarity, as if he would be able to wake up from whatever nightmare this was.

"Damn it…" He whispered through grit teeth.

His Golem fluttered near him, yellow eyes staring down at him as Rikki's voice crackled through, "Did you find Alma, Edgar?"

"Alma," His chest burned as he struggled to regain control, "Yu…Qin…"

 _How did it end up like this?_ His thoughts was a mess. After the last incident with the previous batch of Seconds, Central had been breathing down their neck and watching their every move, promising interventions and consequences should anything go wrong. It was already bad that Yu had shown irreversible signs of memory corruption and had to be frozen and disposed off and now Qin was nowhere to be found. It was clear that one more misstep, and Lvellie had made it clear that Qin's and Alma's fate would be sealed. Not only had the three of them were nowhere close to synchronising with Innocence, they would be considered liabilities and better off disposed of.

 _And now, there's nothing I or anyone can do about it._

Twi was already under heavy scrutiny after the three had escaped and even Sahlins had his hands tied. None of them had the power to sway Central's decision now.

And he had just lost Alma. His only chance to keep them safe.

"Where is he, Edgar?"

He was pathetic. His gripped tightened around his head as burning tears trails down his cheek. He couldn't even protect them properly. And now everything is a mess.

"Edgar?" The Golem crackled.

"ARGH!" He screamed in frustration, angry at himself, at Central and the fate that had been handed to his charges.

And there was nothing he can do about it.

All of a sudden, the ground shook violently and the he felt the heat from the floor under him. _What was that?_ Wiping away the tears, he peered into the hole, remnants of flame licking up towards him, turning into ashes. A familiar energy sizzled, the fading flames and shreds of yellow fluttered in the air. _No._ He knew that energy. That's the Fire Wings talismans.

"Connect me to below," He yelled at the Golem that obeyed without wasting a beat.

"Did you think we got him?" The voice crackled through the Golem and Edgar felt his heart leaping to his throat.

His heart pounded harder as he picked up the sound of Alma's voice hissing in the background, voice hoarse and rough almost like he was speaking through burnt vocal chords.

"That doll can still move!" The CROW exclaimed and Edgar could feel the beginning of a spell coming to life.

"No!" Edgar yelled, "Don't harm him! That child is an apostle!"

But as he had thought, his efforts were in vein as the CROWS spoke coldly, mind made up, "No, he intends to resist us with Innocence!"

"Yu…" Alma's voice barely registers behind the crackling, "Give him back. Give him back."

"Don't attack him, CROW!"

It was no use, they don't take orders from him. Edgar's heart dropped as he felt the spells activated sending another blast of fire flying up towards him, "Fire Wings!"

"STOP!" Edgar pleaded.

The Golem's speaker crackled from the sounds of fire going ablast but Edgar could pick up a voice that almost sound barely human, "I'll save Yu!"

A flash of green exploded from the hole, Edgar fell back, covering his eyes from the bright light. From the corner of his eyes, the black Golem grew closer and Edgar could hear the sound of shattering glass and the chilling screams of CROWS.

And absolute silence as the line went dead.

.

.

.

 _Inevitability, it all started like a normal day. But without me realising, the hand of fate had turned against us._

* * *

 **I had intended to play this chapter straight and be depressive but somehow, Qin's antics got out of hand. I won't complain. Having her be sassy and do things her own way made this chapter a bit more fun to write. It still did get dark in the end.**

 **Question of the day: *rubs hands together*** **Do you think Qin can change Alma's mind?**

 **Leave a comment and tell me what you think. It makes me happy and giddy when I read your comments and figure out what you know and what you predict will happen. See you in the next chapter!**

 **Yule.**


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